Monday, February 28, 2005
expect tha werst. hope for tha best??
to all tha people i am gonna disappoint with ma results. i truly sicerely am sorry.
to ma friends and family that have been there from tha start. thank you. <3>
Yamakasi? Wat yamakasi? To me, we've been dead a long time ago. Words have been easily spoken but, actions speak louder than words. And tha actions, have been so obvious i would be blind not to see. Thank you for tha amazingly fun times we have spent. For simpang nights. For all tha advice and encouragement you guys have given me. For all tha moral support and faith you have had in me. All i can say is, ' I'm sick of bein bubblegum chewed up'. Ive been chewed up and spit out. I know you're busy and all, but if i dont sms you. I wont hear from you, and i havent heard from you in like wat, a week? Tha things we have done for you. Maybe you'll disagree, but we have been good friends to you. Wat have we not done for you? And im not askin for much. Juz an sms. Maybe ur fingers too heavy. Maybe its just another week to you. I know my place, I know i am nobody. I know I am not missed. Im not gonna let it bother me. But it does suck when so many things remind me of you guys, and i miss you guys so much. I miss your laughter and tha joy you bring to all our lives. You'll never know how much you have touched ma life. But friends drift apart. That's life. One of you said you couldnt see us still chillin at simpang together when we're 24. I objected. But here we are, one year down, and I cant imagine it. It makes me so so sad. Losing people that mean so much to me. One of you also said, I'll find ma man soon, one who will truly appreciate how special i am. Looking at it now, if my friends cant do that, how can some other guy? This seriously has nothing to do with jealousy or feelin inferior. Here's a question, when you ever pick up tha phone to call me, is it because you want to see me or is it because you are that bored? Maybe one day you guys will see how 'special' i am and appreciate it. But im not gonna hope for a miracle. I need that for ma results.
To me, lets hope i did not fuck up ma o levels too badly. Lets hope they have pity on tha girl who knows shit about physics, and every other subject. All tha best to me. *dies*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:02 AM|0 Butterflies
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
hunks galore on your tv screen,& now in spore too..
I was watchin american idol yesterday. For tha ferst time, tha guys were ALL cute in their own way. haha. It used to be just one cute guy who could never really sing unless u like tha nerdy type and go for guys like Clay Aiken. But i hafta say, Although his performance was deemed boring by tha judges.. tha way Travis Tucker sang My cherie amor.. hearing tha words.. he makes it sound sooooo nice.. if anyone ever gets me. hah.
Now for tha big news... *drumroll please* *drumroll in tha background* heh.
JON JONSSON IS NUFKING IN SINGAPORE. I bet half of you dont even know who tha hell im talkin bout. Well.. let me explain. Jon Jonsson is on a tv series on starworld called Manhunt. He was tha hott surfer guy/ cherokee indian looking one. Tha first one to catch ma eye. When I told people, wat did they say? "Why are you watching that dog show?" If its okay to watch Miss Universe or tha female version of manhunt.. that Tyra Banks one... Y isnt it okay to watch a bunch of ridiculously hott guys on tv? Niwae, back to mr perfect looking. He won. Yeah. He won. And he got a 2 month contract thing to work wherever in tha world he wants to. And he chose Singapore. He probably knows this place cuz he's half Thai. But I think he just wanna be safe. Haha. Would you work in Malaysia? Or Thailand? Maybe tha cities happening lah. But tha rural areas? hmm... I sense another reality tv series.. smthin like outback jack... only more like... modelling in Thailand. Tha do's and do nots. Back to why im writing such a ridiculous blog entry anyway. Because, Jon Jonsson is in Singapore. He could have gone to Hawaii.. catch some waves. Wat waves do we have here in Singapore? Wat kinda water do we even have at our beaches. Has anyone been to Sentosa recently? tha water is full of sludge. SOOOOO disgusting to walk on. AND. tha water stinks. seriously. wassup wit our waters? heh. This is just another moronic random entry. Im having a chalet *cheers* Kiss ma *left to ur imagination*. Some people just spoiled tha whole concept of fun for me. Just when i really need it too.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |7:16 AM|0 Butterflies
yes yes nufail love, sheesha was much fun. dunt ever get chocolate. stick wit fruity flavours. haha... laughing our asses off at sheena's sudden "MAH" and ma "OOOooOow" wahhaha.. funny moments. enjoy tha good times while they last. Tha la salle open house was uber cool. last year one better uh.. haha.. there were these HOTT female models. like whoa. Usin tha design students clothes. den sheens fren, austin, lemme try scratchin. tho i sucked cuz i was like so malu, it was like cooooool balls... hahah.. and enough of people sayin me and sheena look alike. dats all we got all damn day. ouh, and sufyan is a sexy beast. heh.
Enjoy tha good times while they last. If you care enough and have fun in their company, you will make an effort to make those times last. I think me and kittie care too much for people. too emotionally attached. I hafta realise my place. I was never high on tha priority list, never was. Wat havent we done? takin a cab from Point A to Point B may not seem like much. But we do it cuz we enjoy tha company. Sometimes people dont realise how much we do. Waking up early. It has always been tha small things that count. How some can do it for others not not for those they claim they are close to. I found out recently, losing a friend is sometimes more painful than losing someone u love. Im sure there are many who may not agree wit me, but dats wat i feel.
Sometimes I wonder wat have i not done enough? wat have i not given enough of? wat is it i lack? but than i realised. I am me. I am comfortable in tha way i am. I may look 14 but who cares? I am happy. If people cant accept me for that.. than... Maybe that person was never my friend. Its so sad to think that the things me and my friends used to do is smthin they do now wit their other friends. Somethin that i had placed importance on was never really important to them. I should learn to say no, fight back. because its eating me, killing me. Im sick of bein an emotional basketcase. Whatever i do is never appreciated. Always taken for granted. Always believe im always gonna be there. Wat if one day i wasnt? would anyone care? would anyone be sad? i doubt it. seriously. maybe a few i can count off ma fingers on ma right hand. Bein a friend you should never expect anyhtin in return. But i realised i cant keep givin and givin. and end up disappointed. I dunt like havin ma dreams laughed at however silly it may be. I dont like smthin that is important to me laughed at. Because it matters to me. You may not see it, but it hurts. In tha end, all tha blame is put on me. Im always talkin b4 thinkin. Im unrefined. Im emotional. Im sensitive. I get overly excited fast. Im sick of lockin myself up in tha room, cryin ma eyes out until i fall asleep. Im mostly sick of bein blamed for everythin. Im also sick of bein invisible. Im sick of bein someone who is never missed or cared for. seein nufail after 5 days was so amazing. time spent wit u is always tha best. Someone said one to me, " Its only words, why are you so hurt by it? " (u shld noe who ur) i get hurt because i disappointed somone. I made them sad. I hurt them, i made them worried. I only want to see those i care for happy. Even if i am not happy. Seein them happy makes ma day. I go home wit a smile on ma face, happy songs in ma ipod.
I hate seein those who have done so much bein taken for granted. I hate to see them pushed aside as if they did not matter. When that is tha person that has been there for you. That person has tolerated scoldings just to please you. Some people think they are so damn smart. That nobody in tha world does not understand their problems. We may not be as smart, but please dont underestimate us. We may not have tha right answers but our shoulders and ears are always open. Its up to you whether or not you want to take that first step.
Smokers should watch Constantine. Scares tha shiet outta you balls.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:13 AM|0 Butterflies
never go to sentosa on a public holiday. seriously.
while waiting for tha guys, me sheens and yana was like eating, there were these 2 hott guys at a table kinda opposite ours. one indian guy. hottness. and one malay dude. fair, curly hair, nice body. think he's a breaker. they were 2 girls who looked like jackies. i kept on lookin at tha malay dude. cute sia. serrrrrious. like whoa~ and i kept lookin at him. and yana was sayin he kept lookin at me. i think cuz i kept lookin at him. but im sure ive seen them somewher b4. they look familiar, both guys. if dat gurl was his gf den he got tha better one. he's short tho. but he was usin a cap, den his curly hair at tha back can see, white singlet(show of niceeee arms) 3/4 pants or watever u call it and puma shoes. cute sia. serrrious. *melts* should have smiled at him when he went off. dammit.
on tha way to meetin aaron juz now, me and yana took 24. saw that cute guy at ma bus stop. he took tha bus. we were both laughin, esp since he was sittin in front of us.heh. we took pics of tha back of his head wit our hp. freakin hilarious sia. den he got off at tanah merah. and i tried smiling at him. like damn cacat uh. den he juz gave me this WTF look and looked away. i think tha guy i saw at harbour front cuter. more approchable. heh.
kittieeeeeeeeeeeeee's back. yay~ so happy. wat would i do witout u woman? id so die! hahah. sooooooooooooooooooooo good to have ya back tau~
love all of u ma favourite people. so much. thanks bunches for everythin.
somebody asked me : can u love someone outta obligation? wat a question. nobody can be forced to love. u do or u dunt. ryte?
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:12 AM|0 Butterflies
never go to sentosa on a public holiday. seriously.
while waiting for tha guys, me sheens and yana was like eating, there were these 2 hott guys at a table kinda opposite ours. one indian guy. hottness. and one malay dude. fair, curly hair, nice body. think he's a breaker. they were 2 girls who looked like jackies. i kept on lookin at tha malay dude. cute sia. serrrrrious. like whoa~ and i kept lookin at him. and yana was sayin he kept lookin at me. i think cuz i kept lookin at him. but im sure ive seen them somewher b4. they look familiar, both guys. if dat gurl was his gf den he got tha better one. he's short tho. but he was usin a cap, den his curly hair at tha back can see, white singlet(show of niceeee arms) 3/4 pants or watever u call it and puma shoes. cute sia. serrrious. *melts* should have smiled at him when he went off. dammit.
on tha way to meetin aaron juz now, me and yana took 24. saw that cute guy at ma bus stop. he took tha bus. we were both laughin, esp since he was sittin in front of us.heh. we took pics of tha back of his head wit our hp. freakin hilarious sia. den he got off at tanah merah. and i tried smiling at him. like damn cacat uh. den he juz gave me this WTF look and looked away. i think tha guy i saw at harbour front cuter. more approchable. heh.
kittieeeeeeeeeeeeee's back. yay~ so happy. wat would i do witout u woman? id so die! hahah. sooooooooooooooooooooo good to have ya back tau~
love all of u ma favourite people. so much. thank bunches for everythin.
somebody asked me : can u love someone outta obligation? wat a question. nobody can be forced to love. u do or u dunt. ryte?
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:12 AM|0 Butterflies
i cant get tha rasta man chant song by jah cure outta ma head. *shrieks* HELLP MEHHH~ heh.
i had fun today, ya, ya. ya. hahahah. i love u all lah okek. u noe it. i noe it. i dunt hafta publisize ma undying love for all u 4 morons today.
V-day is comin. People wit a partner are gonna be rushing for gifts and shiet. People w/o partners are gonna sa its a totally over-rated day, no matter wat. It would juz be nice to have that someone on dat day wit you. We all dunt wanna be lonely. We all want someone. Plain and Simple. As much as u say its over-raed, if u had someone... you'd wanna do anythin to please dem. This reminds me of ma speech in class bout Valentine's Day and how i thought it was over-rated. Tha teacher was like, that's an interesting view point. Pui to all dat shiet cuz i was juz lonely and sad. wats new. heh.
Can anybody get me dat freakin gorgeous male specimen dat i keep seein at ma bus stop. okek, 2x only, but still..... gorgeous lahhhhh *faints* i want can? whaahah.. please sabreena, people dat hott, ALWAYS have girlfriends. sosad.com.sg/edu/my but... he's a hott guy. i would so love to see his gf. im like 99.9% sure he got one. dunt ask y. its tha gut. duntcha juz hate ur guts sometimes. even if he got a gf dunt mean i dunt wanna noe him for ahem, future references kan? *winks*
wat a stupid entry.
p.s : imma stop caring now. starting from.... NOW!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:09 AM|0 Butterflies
I am a daydreamer.
I think too much.
I am short.
I am gullible.
I love to laugh.
I am highly amuseable.
I can be quite random.
I am friendly,
yet I am very shy.
I love butterflies.
Go figure.
<3 to all I know and love.