Monday, January 31, 2005
for my sisters
HAPPY SISTERS DAY SHEENA AND YANA!!!!!!
yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay
waahhaha. sheena bought me a shirt. i BIG shirt. heh. which proclaimed me tha best sister. and u better believe it. morons. my new fav werd. do not ask y.
Thank you Kak Sheen. I Love You tau. Really.
Yana. I Love You but i dun wanna fren u. U never call me anymore. heh. <3
Its allllllllllllllllll LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
ma most precious ones. <3
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:16 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 29, 2005
hmmm...
work tmrw should be interesting, i hope. kak sheen is gonna be in a cheerleading outfit. i noe many people would love to see dat. heeeeeeeh~ maybe i'll meet some really cute japanese guy? fat hope, we probably wont even understand each other, language barrier and all.
Today was so fun. i didnt want you to go. It was sooooo good. I wish we all could have gone to our place. but its all good. I am so grateful for that short time we spent together. Maybe next time. :) It was just so fuckin good to see y'all. Reminds me of times much loved before.
<3
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, January 28, 2005
idle dreams
everyone dreams of having that perfect someone. maybe you've found that perfect someone. maybe ur happy wit that perfect someone. maybe u cant have that perfect someone. when will u actually find that perfect someone? will he be a shadow of tha past. will u be satisfied? fullfilled? feel as if everyday is a blessing? look forward to seeing him. have butterflies in ur tummy when he calls u tho its tha norm? how do u even noe he's that perfect someone? how do u noe u have not let go of that perfect someone in pursuit of someone else u thought was better. how do u live ur life, feeling like its meaningless. as if ur lost. like u have no direction or drive? how do u pick urself up form that deep black hole u thought was so deep no one could reach out to you? how do u learn to live and smile when you feel like everyday is gonna be tha same... pointless... everyday is melting into one long, never ending day? how do u look forward to tha next day?
i think i need new friends. or just a friend. i love tha ones i have now, but they have their own lives to live too.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:58 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, January 27, 2005
off to work
pui. i wish i was as rich as some people (u shld noe who im talkin bout nufie) but, Alhamdullilah ive gotten wats impt.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:00 PM| 1 Butterflies
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Happy Birthday Mummy... Wish you were here.. :(
Happy birthday mummy.. wish you didnt hafta spend it all alone in italy... i'll meet u halfway... tell me which ocean? heeeh~ *hugs and kisses* missing u always.. :( come back soon...
stupid house at pasir ris. i dunt want. ma dad seems keen. ahhh... its so far... dammit.
full moon again. go away. juz go away.
it was good to see you today mai. really was. u too adam. friday yeah.. we'll see.....
i cant be fucked bout things nimore. like i told ma darling kittieeeeee... its time to distance maself away from some people. cuz i try to make dem happy. i give ma best. its never enuff. u can never make dem happy... i dunnoe... like i keep trynna give and give, but after a while those insults juz stick... no point tryin nimore... maybe its changed, maybe they do appreciate you.. but i think they have better things in life to live for... im juz becomin a hassle. memories... good and bad. i wish i could throw it all in a box and throw it out to sea. or burn it. cuz those cherished memories.. are only cherished by u.. tha other person, juz cant be bothered to remember, even tha slightest things. so fuck it. those memories takin up so much space in ma brain. fuck all this shiet. i dunt want ur company. i dunt need ur calls. because im tired of 'meaning' smthin to people. im givin u smthin less to care or worry bout. *quoted from nufail : as much as i want to.. i don't want to...* so stay away form me. cuz i dont want u near me. thanks for all u have done. it can stop now. thanks for makin me happy. it can stop now. thanks for bein there when i needed you. it can stop now. thanks for hurting me. it can stop now. it can all finally stop now.
and i heard from syah dat fique is in langkawi. performin.. *go boy* syah said he be back on friday prolly. he left on wednesday. i see his face everywhere now... and i juz contemg his face on tha today paper.. he looks good tau~ heeeeh. i think i myte juz stop blogging... or change tha addy. so nobody can disturb me there. i can be me. i can be alone. i can be free.
i love you mummy. please come back soon. :(
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:44 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
all i need is you~
i never knew i made impacts on people's lives. i always thought of myself as the wallflower. once u meet m,e u'll forget me. i never knew i made an impression. but now i noe i have, on some people at least.
nufail. ma bright shinin star. i remember there was once u were down, and u said lets juz not bother bein friends anymore. i started cryin like one baby, went to tha back room.. yana see me also panic.. and i called u. i dunnoe y we started talkin bout such shiet also. at that moment tho, i knew, if i ever lost u... even if i had someone special in ma life, it would b meaningless, because, seriosuly, ur one person that has to be part of ma life. u make me whole, u fill me up. u made me who i am today. and i sincerely love you, every fiber of ma body loves u to death. and there are not many things that i would not do for you. u've been to tha edge and back wit me. and i think only u, yana and kak sheen have stuck wit me from ma highest to ma lowest. god could not have sent me a better friend. he sent me and angel when u came into this world. ur a reason i was born.
to fera. woman, i admit, b4 i really knew u, i used to make fun of u, laugh at tha jokes made towards u. i have admitted that to you. i have apologized. i feel like its not enuff because ure one beautiful soul. inside and out. u listen to me talk crap. u listen to me talk bout tha same thing over and over again. u probably heard tha same story over 5 times. and im sorry. but its smthin u understand. u have shown me another meaning of friensdship. forgiving. so easily. how do u keep giving and giving? i get dumbfounded. u juz give, and u never expect anythin in return. ur like santa claus. i hope u have friends that are like ur milk and cookies. u never expect them but u still get them anyway. because i think u deserve so much more than that actually. u deserve so much happiness for tha happiness u have given people. maybe dats y u so skinny ey? hehehe.. kidding love. niwae, i wanna say, i really am sorry for tha wrong i have done. intentional or unintentional. it was never meant to hurt u. and im so glad ur still ma friend. u deserve all tha happiness u gettin now. like FINALLY! and p.s : i prefer tha caesar salad at maccafe better. but ur hot chocolate is dope! i swear! and tha foam. oh... wow.
to adam. as much as we want it to, things will never be tha same. all we want is ur happiness. and we're happy that u've got it.
to mai :)
to yana. i miss you. i think i took for granted when u were around. i miss ur kerazee laughter. i miss tha times at tha back. i miss havin u ard. i miss ur pms mood face. muke ronyok. actually not really lah, but u put up wit meh all tha time. hahahah. its all love baby. i hope u slpin over tmr. i hope u can follow us to kl. i hope i can be there for u like how u've been for me. i love you.
to kak sheen. i admit i havent been tha best sister. i noe ive been a bitch. i noe u hurtin. like i said marshmellow. i am here. i am still ur leech-y younger sister who will always look up to you. like yana and nufail, u were always someone i could count on, no matter wat. even at 3am, all i had to do was roll to ma right and see ur face, and i know tmrw would be a better day cuz i had my sister by my side. i love you.
to aaron. dunt forget me boy. cuz i'll always remember u gave me my first ever bicycle ride. u almost gave me my first concussion. u are one friend i can not talk to and still feel close to. u are one person who dosent really have to know eveythin to know how im feelin. ur ma pot of gold boy. u dunnoe how much it meant to me dat u came over that day. i knew u were not in tha best of moods. i know it was cramped. but ur presence there, was satisfying.
to syaheed. tha older brother i never had. ure an amazing guy. if u look at tha word patience in tha dictionary, u'll see ur name. u amaze me with tha way u love ma sister. u give her tha strength she needs. u were there for me from day 1. wit never ending advice. if i had a problem, could just call u up. be it directions. ma mini i-pod or ma heart. u were there. thank u.
to prem. yes u smartie pants, ur name is here. u always cheer me up. poking jokes at me. letting me make fun of u. bullying me. always sending us home. i feel so bad. i have never taken it for granted. im very thankful. ur one generous guy. and yes, i'll admit, adorable too. as irritating as i find u, u never fail to brighten ma day. thank u for all that u have done for me and those that i care about. ur someone i will always be grateful for having in ma life. and please dunt try and correct ma grammar when u read dis uh. or watever mistakes i have made. i noe u editor and all uh. soon to be consultant. oh wells. all tha best premmie.
to those mentioned and unmentioned. thank u for lessing me wit ur presence in ma life. u have made a difference. u may not have felt it. but i have. thank you.
peace and love to all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:42 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, January 23, 2005
cheers to friends :)
i was blooging dat day. damn semnagat. everythin i wanted to say. all down. checkin tha spelling. suddenly while chatting to fera, tha page closed by itself. i was cursing and swearing.
ma mommy's buyin mcdonalds breakfast now. *rubs hands gleefully* can't wait.
thanks u soooo much rover and kittie for comin over yesterday. i hope u guys had fun an good food. hahahah. time spent wit u guys is always grec. too bad john lim coundt make it. things happen, i understand. maybe next time love. i didnt wnat u guys to leave i didnt wanna go for ta briyani dinner at ma dad's cousin's place. we played murderer and heart attack! and bluff and i heart attacked and they broke ma freakin butterfly bracelet aunty bought for meh. i was pissed, but i think i can go get it fixed. along wit ma butterfly necklace. tha chain broke. i was holding tha butterfly and tha damn chain broke. wassup wit ma butterfly things breaking? its not a sign sheens~ i hafta take better care and be more careful.
to that yummy marshmellow. im herrrrrre. always will be.
i am thankful for so many things in ma life. but i dont understand how some people can be so selfish. they have everything they want but it is never enough. they keep demanding for more. somehow u noe its not right when the happiness of others does not concern them anymore. they only people that should be happy is themselves. they are only proving people right when those people bad mouth them. they keep sayin they will change. i havent seen nuthin. tha smallest werds and actions mean a whole lot. even tho john didnt make it yesterday, tha sms he sent me to say sorry melted ma heart. a simple sms or call could brighten someone's day. a hug from where u can feel tha sincerity and love. or a two armed hug. its tha littlest things that count. i have finally found out wat a true friend would and would not do for me. a best friend would sacrifice something forme. even their happiness. thank u nufail. i love u. people do not constantly hurt their best friends. they care. They call when its u bday. they dunt send u an sms. i keep thinkin there is always good in people. somehow people keep proving me wrong. over and over again, i keep havin faith and once again i am disappointed. u never really lose ur best friend. cuz u see tha good in them. u try and hold on. maybe a little longer they will see what they have been overlooking. but den u realise, no matter how hard ur grip is, they slip away. and after a while, u dunt bother, cuz it takes 2 hands to clap and u clapping alone gets exhausting. since they have their happiness, leave them to it. cuz ultimately u only wanna see each other happy, if ur standing in their way of happiness... u move, cuz no matter how much u try and make them see, they will never see anythin from ur perspective. all they see is themselves and their happiness. people i cared about so much slip away from me, and i feel bad, i feel like a horrible friend. i feel as if i didnt hold on hard enough, or long enough. enough of that shiet. i take ma cue from you, im letting go, because i wanna see u happy. and people like me, just dunt u happy anymore. so i let u go without any remorse or regret. because this is wat u wanted and i dunt wanna hurt over u. you used to be worth it. but now i see, no matter how much i hurt, u'll never share ma pain. if i cry, u will never cry with me. u will stand there like a rock, solid, emotionless. because i dunt matter anymore. good luck. and somehow its contradicting wat ive said above, but, i still do love u.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:01 AM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, January 17, 2005
nikita, kyle, yasmin and lydia~
i love em kids, i swear, read nufail's blog for tha details... a ga gi... hahhaha.. dats how lydis says mommy.. cant expect much from a 1+ year old girl... kyle's birthday is 25th march lah woman~ next sunday! nest sunday. at 6pm.. *wheeeeeeee* a date wit those 4 lil young kids, hope they'll be there mangz~ *so excited*
i wanted to write smthin, but i changed ma mind cuz i dunt wanna offfend anybody. its thir lives. as long as they're happy... im not gonna poke ma nose where its not needed. dont wanna be kaypoh. im here if u need me.
watched sheens and gang play ball today... zain was there today, he came down for his cousin's wedding at shangri-la... all i can say is, issa, ur family uh... *grinks WIDELY* hahhah...
sheesha wednesday?
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:28 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 15, 2005
so honoured~
after work yesterday, met yana, she came to tha office, den we met nufail at tha mrt station.. went to hmv... farkin hell.. got all tha albums i want... iron and wine, the thrills, the get up kids, interpol, international noise conspiracy.. ARGH!!! tha ones i reallyw ant are $41.. there are ones that are $19.95... hmm... so i bought tha taufik cd.. its gooooood~ i like close 2 you and missing u always... hahah... he sounds soooooo good, so proud of him~ woohhooo~
i opened tha cd at raimah's.. wanted to check it out... so i was readin tha lyrics and all that shiet..d en i was reading tha page he was thankin pple... go tha kak aleza, his guardian angel.. so sweet... :) so i was readin his frens and all, den got syaheed's name.. got mark, koko and all.. i was like, SYAH! he thanked u.. ahha den syah was like,, yeahh... so cool.. so i was readin den i saw sheena and sabrina.. i was like FUCKKK! no way! he thanked us!!! tho he spelled ma name wrong... but im so FUCKING touched.. he thanked us on his album... he thanked us.. gosh... wow~ im juz so fuckin honoured and touched uh.. seriously...
and i wanna thank ma mom for always bein ther.. :)
me and sheens bough tha mini i pod today.. WOOHOOO~ i got blue and sheens got silver.. nufking cool sia~
uh oh... trouble.. gotta go... gosh.. this sucks... hope its gonna work out...
fuck this shit man.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:52 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, January 13, 2005
i only wanna see u happy~
dats goes to all ma frens, those people whom i care bout.
it's a really great feeling to noe dat u are missed, that there are people there who care for u. its so great to hear those reassuring words.. them werds ive been needing to hear for so long. its so great to receive sucha warm, sincere hug. juz from that hug, to noe ur missed. and dat ur cared for.
its good to noe i have a fren, a best fren, who cares for me, maybe more den herself. she only wanted to see my happiness. and ive never been so touched. bcuz, juz from that one small action. i noe u care.
smallest things mean so much. those small actions. those werds. people may never notice. but its always tha lil things dat count. giving and taking and not always taking.
even when somone always gives u one armed hugs and suddenly gives u 2 arm hugs. and sings to u not to leave even tho u gotta. makes u noe ur presence is appreciated. and its a wonderful feeling.
rover. ur house is amazing. makes me miss mine. hahah. can we go over there again soon? heheheh. tak tau malu.
thank you people, who totally brightenend my day today. u shld noe who ur. i love u to bitses and pieces. i dunt think i can ever find some people that can replace u guys.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:25 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
pushing it away
i bought undies again.. tha brazillian one... i dnt think anybody will geddit except yana.. hahah...
thanks aunty n aunty aishah.. i had fun yesterday, i woke up ard 8.. to send dee off to bali... 6 days in tha sun.. enjoy.. i juz hope u noe to run for ur life oncee tha water looks weird... den afta sendni dee off, me and aunty went to tha lawyer's office, den me mummy's office, den we picked aunty aishah up for our facial.. thanks fer tha belt and tha butterfly coin purse thingy. thank u soooooooooooooooooooo much!!! our facial took 3 hours~ acyually theirs... mine was log over, thank gof i had nufail for company while waiting for them to finish.. heeheheh... afta dat we went paragon for dinner... we went sushi tei... so cool.. me bein a jakun or issit jakon? watever lah, y'all get meh... so i found out dat teempura and tha chicken is yummy... i love tha prawn wit thousand island and basil sushi... its farking good~ i swear. they had mushroom sushi... i didnt eat salmon, but i ate eel... not exacly ma kinda thing uh, but its not bad... tha california roll was good.. i coundt take tha wasabe.. even wit tha loght spy sauce.. i was dying, so i decided not to eat tha wasabe juz tha light soy sauce in tha end.. heheheh....
niwae, i had fun on satrday.. i think.... debateable fer tha ferst part of tha day.. sheesha was quite allryte... but after we left tha 2 couples and rover, me and sheens went serangoon to met syah and all.. dat was blooooooooooooody fun~ omg... funny arses... lets see.. syaheed, mark, danny, eric,sufyan, andy, mun and fique ttc was ther.. oh gosh... tha whole malay prime ministers thing was dope shiet.. i swear, i havent laughed dat much in ages... hahah.. thanks fer tha laugh u guys...
and on sunday, i met man and faisal.. after how blooooooooooooooody lobg.. gosh i missed dem 2 so damn much. now one person left. rosy. i myte be meetin her on thursday? any takers? heheh.. we went pasir ris park. thanks so much fer tha mystery bola ping pong u asshole, faisal. bloody nyentot. if dats even spelled ryte. hahah den we went banquet at eastpoint, meet sheens, syah and sufyan... fique ttc came a whole later... we left fast uh.. man and faisal earlier cuz faisl had to go to skool tha next day.. juz bought his econs tys summore... jc boy. hahaha. u noe i love u guys to bits and pieces. and next week, spore vs indonesia. lets like use red and white? sua? mcm national day sia.. fuck.. cant wait to spend tha day wit me bobbies *yay* anybody else is welcome.. wahahah... actually lets see if ma dad gives meh tha green light, he'll probably say wait got riot very dangerous or watever lah.. haiyoh. oh wells. imma go get ready to meet ma 2 fav animals now. wahahah. and den imma catch meh csi marathon at syah's place.. csi, i loike, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh~
<3>
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:18 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 08, 2005
im feelin sexyyyyyyy~
i went undergarmet shopping today~ oh gosh did i have fun.. bought 3 bras and 2 undies.... im in lurveeeeeee wit ma stuff... i swear.. i shall not go into details bout it... it'll be so wrong... thank u soooo sooo verrrrrrry much aunty~ i really appreciate it... *SMILES* hahah
we got our photos from tha fatimah hamid or watever studio.. kinda cool... i look good without zits! wahahha... who tha hell wont ey?
to ana, thanks fer not bein offended.. was really sweet of u guys to buy tha ipod for him... gosh, how many of u chipped in? can i get one? haha.. kiddin~ :P
i wanna go fer sheesha tmrw..wit ma yamakasi people.. but aaron is confined fer bein caught smokin...silly goon~ i think he be out on saturday but no word from him... i miss adam and mai, a whole lot... so busy those 2.. aiyohhhh~
yanaaaa, come back... i miss u many many also tau~ i wanna chill wit u at tha back... get some uh... fresh air and shiet.. listen to meh mp3.. i got so many songs i want u to hear.... come back soon okek? no pressure~ hahah... maybe we get tha job at starbucks... or coffee bean.. wewt~ hahahah....
cant be bothered wit many things now... ass-hooooooooooooole *trynna imitate LJ from meet tha fockers, bloody cute baby~*
was chattin wit adam yesterday... he said smthin like those people worth caring bout are those who give and dunt take... they dunt expect anythin... i think ive been expecting too much.. ending up disappointed is so not fun... and sometimes i give... and not expect... but i think i may be giving too much.. dats gotta change~ i dunnoe.... some people say ive been too selfish... oh wells... sometimes i get stuck in a situation and i dunnoe how to get out, im sorry if i offended ya, it was never ma intention..
i had fun wit sheena and nufail dat day.. and nufail and fera and dat lil bit of audrey.. u donkey, u had to leave so early~ u didnt get to meet kittieee~ :( haha. like u said there's always next time...
i hope we all can go fer sheesha tmrw...
and i got a new resolution...
i wanna take up driving, hopefully by next year... i can drive ey? wooohhooo~ hahah~ *grins*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, January 02, 2005
New year
i think in ma case, a new year means more stupid things for me to do... i finally figured out wats wrong wit ma blog. this will be a story where nufail will LMAO like hell and say " bodoh sia been" i can juz imagine tha scene in ma head.
niwae, happy belated 17th bday to shaikh aka template boy now.. haha and Dee.. happy 15th bday. heeeeh~ hope u liked ur choo-choo cake.. hehehe..~ Love ya guys.
Sudip. I miss ya loads. I wish u were here so we could go for sheesha when i am down and you can cheer me up wit all ur crap. i felt like cryin, readin ur blog. im so touched to noe ma mom means smthin to ya. wow. im sure she's gonna be damn touched when she reads it. imma let her read it... juz tha bottom part tho. heheh. thanks sweetheart. i sure hope u enjoyed ur new years parties. :)
highlght of new years eve and new years.. *Dino*
-So the story goes-
Me and yana were walkin up warehouse to see sheens and yon... and we saw this really hot guy. so i grabbbed yana and she squeezed ma hand and i was goin 'helllloooo gorgeous' in ma head. hahah.. must be tha whole last day of tha year thing... so i left ma bag and sweater wit sheens... yana stood behind tha counter and mr gorgeous goes up to her and asks if he could leave his bag ther... so yana told sheens and she allowed... details in between ask us yourself uh, but we were on tha dancefloor when he asked yana to dance den i was left alone wit aunty aisyah and uncle lan, den mr gorgeous called me over and asked me fer ma name, he told me he was Dino. hahah... i found out he's 18. yana found out he's eurasian, dad=ang-moh, mom=malay. he's muslim. heheh. At tha end of it.. he was dancing wit dis chineses girl, me and yana from upstairs were like, must be damn hot sia... body damn nice, so she went to tha toilet, me and yana also masuk, action lookin fer sheens and yon. skali tha girl he was dancing wit turned. ma face froze, i smiled and walked out and me and yana started laughing hysterically. Typical munjen wit bugsy teeth...her front 2 teeth were protruding. as in she coundt close her mouth properly. yeah we're evil. and i cant blame tha alcohol cuz i wasnt high anymore when i saw her. but... i think for someone as hott as himself.... he could have done WAY better. It was nice too see Mac after so long. Reza metrosexual was ther fer a while also. Uncle Lan, Nas, Dee, aunty aisyah, Lin and aunty all damn fun lah, esp wen tha guys are high. hahah, tha stupid dances they make up. esp uncle lan. hahahah. cannot tahan sia. And dis bangladeshi guy came in alone and started talkin to yana den she was like, uh, i gtg up.. and whenever we were on tha dancefloor he follow.. he was juz lookin fer people to dance wit lah.. still freaky okay~ everywher we went we'd see him. hahah... and i must say, i saw wei chong, tha one from nds last time. his dance moves are.... well... i'll show u if u wanna se okek... geez tha way some people dance. Nufail, nufail, wher are u when i need you. it would have been perfect of u were ther, den we can laugh at people dancing together, as if i can dance lah, but yeah, it would have been fun~
ma new year resolutions :
-lose some weight.
-not to care for people who dont care for me.
-be more selfish bout wat i want, cuz there's no point i try and make people happy while im unhappy.
U can miss someone and do all u can to try and get dem back but its not gonna werk if ur tha only one tryin. or if tha gap is too wide. i read mai's blog. i love you too and if u need anyone u noe we're here fer ya. I saw adam at simpang today but he didnt see me. He was wit adeq and rawdah.
I really cant be bothered wit anything nimore. People juz make me sad. U learn from people's mistakes. I wish i could make some of u see how much u mean to some of us, but no matter how hard i try, u may seem close, but ur so distant.. the impact uve made in our lives so significant.
Someone told me dat i should not believe dat i have nothing to offer cuz i do. After a while it seems like a tired old line they say to try and make u believe. Seems all i have done is chase those i love tha most away. To those i still have, thank u fer stickin by.
No point regretting tha things i have done or tha things i could have done. No point bein sad over stupid shit. No point caring bout some people cuz everybody has a life and cuz they dunt want u to be in it dunt mean they care any less for u.
Sulaiman i miss you so much. SO SO SO SO SO much. i miss faisal and rosy too. imma stop lookin back and reminisicing tha old times. cuz those are juz past of ma past now and they will only remain bittersweet memories. 2004 was a year i learnt so much bout maself and tha people around me. im no wise owl. i've seen how love can change everything. ive seen how fame can change a fren. and i think i've lost enough. I juz keep wondering wat have i done to keep deserving such misery. But i also thank god everynight for those special people who have brought so much meanning into ma life. And imma keep tellin maself, bein depressed does not make a situatin better. cryin may relieve some stress but it does not solve tha problem. imma avoid dat this year. a brand new year.well people enjoy, maybe i'll see ya around.
P.S : Fera aka boney chicken and Audrey aka donkey... I LOVE YOU GUYS~ heeeeh~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:09 AM| 0 Butterflies
for my sisters
HAPPY SISTERS DAY SHEENA AND YANA!!!!!!
yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay. yay
waahhaha. sheena bought me a shirt. i BIG shirt. heh. which proclaimed me tha best sister. and u better believe it. morons. my new fav werd. do not ask y.
Thank you Kak Sheen. I Love You tau. Really.
Yana. I Love You but i dun wanna fren u. U never call me anymore. heh. <3
Its allllllllllllllllll LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
ma most precious ones. <3
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:16 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 29, 2005
hmmm...
work tmrw should be interesting, i hope. kak sheen is gonna be in a cheerleading outfit. i noe many people would love to see dat. heeeeeeeh~ maybe i'll meet some really cute japanese guy? fat hope, we probably wont even understand each other, language barrier and all.
Today was so fun. i didnt want you to go. It was sooooo good. I wish we all could have gone to our place. but its all good. I am so grateful for that short time we spent together. Maybe next time. :) It was just so fuckin good to see y'all. Reminds me of times much loved before.
<3
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, January 28, 2005
idle dreams
everyone dreams of having that perfect someone. maybe you've found that perfect someone. maybe ur happy wit that perfect someone. maybe u cant have that perfect someone. when will u actually find that perfect someone? will he be a shadow of tha past. will u be satisfied? fullfilled? feel as if everyday is a blessing? look forward to seeing him. have butterflies in ur tummy when he calls u tho its tha norm? how do u even noe he's that perfect someone? how do u noe u have not let go of that perfect someone in pursuit of someone else u thought was better. how do u live ur life, feeling like its meaningless. as if ur lost. like u have no direction or drive? how do u pick urself up form that deep black hole u thought was so deep no one could reach out to you? how do u learn to live and smile when you feel like everyday is gonna be tha same... pointless... everyday is melting into one long, never ending day? how do u look forward to tha next day?
i think i need new friends. or just a friend. i love tha ones i have now, but they have their own lives to live too.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:58 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, January 27, 2005
off to work
pui. i wish i was as rich as some people (u shld noe who im talkin bout nufie) but, Alhamdullilah ive gotten wats impt.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:00 PM| 1 Butterflies
i don't know what's wrong with you tagboard.but hell yeah,i know you're you're talking about all right.<3
By 
, @ 5:59 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Happy Birthday Mummy... Wish you were here.. :(
Happy birthday mummy.. wish you didnt hafta spend it all alone in italy... i'll meet u halfway... tell me which ocean? heeeh~ *hugs and kisses* missing u always.. :( come back soon...
stupid house at pasir ris. i dunt want. ma dad seems keen. ahhh... its so far... dammit.
full moon again. go away. juz go away.
it was good to see you today mai. really was. u too adam. friday yeah.. we'll see.....
i cant be fucked bout things nimore. like i told ma darling kittieeeeee... its time to distance maself away from some people. cuz i try to make dem happy. i give ma best. its never enuff. u can never make dem happy... i dunnoe... like i keep trynna give and give, but after a while those insults juz stick... no point tryin nimore... maybe its changed, maybe they do appreciate you.. but i think they have better things in life to live for... im juz becomin a hassle. memories... good and bad. i wish i could throw it all in a box and throw it out to sea. or burn it. cuz those cherished memories.. are only cherished by u.. tha other person, juz cant be bothered to remember, even tha slightest things. so fuck it. those memories takin up so much space in ma brain. fuck all this shiet. i dunt want ur company. i dunt need ur calls. because im tired of 'meaning' smthin to people. im givin u smthin less to care or worry bout. *quoted from nufail : as much as i want to.. i don't want to...* so stay away form me. cuz i dont want u near me. thanks for all u have done. it can stop now. thanks for makin me happy. it can stop now. thanks for bein there when i needed you. it can stop now. thanks for hurting me. it can stop now. it can all finally stop now.
and i heard from syah dat fique is in langkawi. performin.. *go boy* syah said he be back on friday prolly. he left on wednesday. i see his face everywhere now... and i juz contemg his face on tha today paper.. he looks good tau~ heeeeh. i think i myte juz stop blogging... or change tha addy. so nobody can disturb me there. i can be me. i can be alone. i can be free.
i love you mummy. please come back soon. :(
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:44 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
all i need is you~
i never knew i made impacts on people's lives. i always thought of myself as the wallflower. once u meet m,e u'll forget me. i never knew i made an impression. but now i noe i have, on some people at least.
nufail. ma bright shinin star. i remember there was once u were down, and u said lets juz not bother bein friends anymore. i started cryin like one baby, went to tha back room.. yana see me also panic.. and i called u. i dunnoe y we started talkin bout such shiet also. at that moment tho, i knew, if i ever lost u... even if i had someone special in ma life, it would b meaningless, because, seriosuly, ur one person that has to be part of ma life. u make me whole, u fill me up. u made me who i am today. and i sincerely love you, every fiber of ma body loves u to death. and there are not many things that i would not do for you. u've been to tha edge and back wit me. and i think only u, yana and kak sheen have stuck wit me from ma highest to ma lowest. god could not have sent me a better friend. he sent me and angel when u came into this world. ur a reason i was born.
to fera. woman, i admit, b4 i really knew u, i used to make fun of u, laugh at tha jokes made towards u. i have admitted that to you. i have apologized. i feel like its not enuff because ure one beautiful soul. inside and out. u listen to me talk crap. u listen to me talk bout tha same thing over and over again. u probably heard tha same story over 5 times. and im sorry. but its smthin u understand. u have shown me another meaning of friensdship. forgiving. so easily. how do u keep giving and giving? i get dumbfounded. u juz give, and u never expect anythin in return. ur like santa claus. i hope u have friends that are like ur milk and cookies. u never expect them but u still get them anyway. because i think u deserve so much more than that actually. u deserve so much happiness for tha happiness u have given people. maybe dats y u so skinny ey? hehehe.. kidding love. niwae, i wanna say, i really am sorry for tha wrong i have done. intentional or unintentional. it was never meant to hurt u. and im so glad ur still ma friend. u deserve all tha happiness u gettin now. like FINALLY! and p.s : i prefer tha caesar salad at maccafe better. but ur hot chocolate is dope! i swear! and tha foam. oh... wow.
to adam. as much as we want it to, things will never be tha same. all we want is ur happiness. and we're happy that u've got it.
to mai :)
to yana. i miss you. i think i took for granted when u were around. i miss ur kerazee laughter. i miss tha times at tha back. i miss havin u ard. i miss ur pms mood face. muke ronyok. actually not really lah, but u put up wit meh all tha time. hahahah. its all love baby. i hope u slpin over tmr. i hope u can follow us to kl. i hope i can be there for u like how u've been for me. i love you.
to kak sheen. i admit i havent been tha best sister. i noe ive been a bitch. i noe u hurtin. like i said marshmellow. i am here. i am still ur leech-y younger sister who will always look up to you. like yana and nufail, u were always someone i could count on, no matter wat. even at 3am, all i had to do was roll to ma right and see ur face, and i know tmrw would be a better day cuz i had my sister by my side. i love you.
to aaron. dunt forget me boy. cuz i'll always remember u gave me my first ever bicycle ride. u almost gave me my first concussion. u are one friend i can not talk to and still feel close to. u are one person who dosent really have to know eveythin to know how im feelin. ur ma pot of gold boy. u dunnoe how much it meant to me dat u came over that day. i knew u were not in tha best of moods. i know it was cramped. but ur presence there, was satisfying.
to syaheed. tha older brother i never had. ure an amazing guy. if u look at tha word patience in tha dictionary, u'll see ur name. u amaze me with tha way u love ma sister. u give her tha strength she needs. u were there for me from day 1. wit never ending advice. if i had a problem, could just call u up. be it directions. ma mini i-pod or ma heart. u were there. thank u.
to prem. yes u smartie pants, ur name is here. u always cheer me up. poking jokes at me. letting me make fun of u. bullying me. always sending us home. i feel so bad. i have never taken it for granted. im very thankful. ur one generous guy. and yes, i'll admit, adorable too. as irritating as i find u, u never fail to brighten ma day. thank u for all that u have done for me and those that i care about. ur someone i will always be grateful for having in ma life. and please dunt try and correct ma grammar when u read dis uh. or watever mistakes i have made. i noe u editor and all uh. soon to be consultant. oh wells. all tha best premmie.
to those mentioned and unmentioned. thank u for lessing me wit ur presence in ma life. u have made a difference. u may not have felt it. but i have. thank you.
peace and love to all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:42 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, January 23, 2005
cheers to friends :)
i was blooging dat day. damn semnagat. everythin i wanted to say. all down. checkin tha spelling. suddenly while chatting to fera, tha page closed by itself. i was cursing and swearing.
ma mommy's buyin mcdonalds breakfast now. *rubs hands gleefully* can't wait.
thanks u soooo much rover and kittie for comin over yesterday. i hope u guys had fun an good food. hahahah. time spent wit u guys is always grec. too bad john lim coundt make it. things happen, i understand. maybe next time love. i didnt wnat u guys to leave i didnt wanna go for ta briyani dinner at ma dad's cousin's place. we played murderer and heart attack! and bluff and i heart attacked and they broke ma freakin butterfly bracelet aunty bought for meh. i was pissed, but i think i can go get it fixed. along wit ma butterfly necklace. tha chain broke. i was holding tha butterfly and tha damn chain broke. wassup wit ma butterfly things breaking? its not a sign sheens~ i hafta take better care and be more careful.
to that yummy marshmellow. im herrrrrre. always will be.
i am thankful for so many things in ma life. but i dont understand how some people can be so selfish. they have everything they want but it is never enough. they keep demanding for more. somehow u noe its not right when the happiness of others does not concern them anymore. they only people that should be happy is themselves. they are only proving people right when those people bad mouth them. they keep sayin they will change. i havent seen nuthin. tha smallest werds and actions mean a whole lot. even tho john didnt make it yesterday, tha sms he sent me to say sorry melted ma heart. a simple sms or call could brighten someone's day. a hug from where u can feel tha sincerity and love. or a two armed hug. its tha littlest things that count. i have finally found out wat a true friend would and would not do for me. a best friend would sacrifice something forme. even their happiness. thank u nufail. i love u. people do not constantly hurt their best friends. they care. They call when its u bday. they dunt send u an sms. i keep thinkin there is always good in people. somehow people keep proving me wrong. over and over again, i keep havin faith and once again i am disappointed. u never really lose ur best friend. cuz u see tha good in them. u try and hold on. maybe a little longer they will see what they have been overlooking. but den u realise, no matter how hard ur grip is, they slip away. and after a while, u dunt bother, cuz it takes 2 hands to clap and u clapping alone gets exhausting. since they have their happiness, leave them to it. cuz ultimately u only wanna see each other happy, if ur standing in their way of happiness... u move, cuz no matter how much u try and make them see, they will never see anythin from ur perspective. all they see is themselves and their happiness. people i cared about so much slip away from me, and i feel bad, i feel like a horrible friend. i feel as if i didnt hold on hard enough, or long enough. enough of that shiet. i take ma cue from you, im letting go, because i wanna see u happy. and people like me, just dunt u happy anymore. so i let u go without any remorse or regret. because this is wat u wanted and i dunt wanna hurt over u. you used to be worth it. but now i see, no matter how much i hurt, u'll never share ma pain. if i cry, u will never cry with me. u will stand there like a rock, solid, emotionless. because i dunt matter anymore. good luck. and somehow its contradicting wat ive said above, but, i still do love u.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:01 AM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, January 17, 2005
nikita, kyle, yasmin and lydia~
i love em kids, i swear, read nufail's blog for tha details... a ga gi... hahhaha.. dats how lydis says mommy.. cant expect much from a 1+ year old girl... kyle's birthday is 25th march lah woman~ next sunday! nest sunday. at 6pm.. *wheeeeeeee* a date wit those 4 lil young kids, hope they'll be there mangz~ *so excited*
i wanted to write smthin, but i changed ma mind cuz i dunt wanna offfend anybody. its thir lives. as long as they're happy... im not gonna poke ma nose where its not needed. dont wanna be kaypoh. im here if u need me.
watched sheens and gang play ball today... zain was there today, he came down for his cousin's wedding at shangri-la... all i can say is, issa, ur family uh... *grinks WIDELY* hahhah...
sheesha wednesday?
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:28 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 15, 2005
so honoured~
after work yesterday, met yana, she came to tha office, den we met nufail at tha mrt station.. went to hmv... farkin hell.. got all tha albums i want... iron and wine, the thrills, the get up kids, interpol, international noise conspiracy.. ARGH!!! tha ones i reallyw ant are $41.. there are ones that are $19.95... hmm... so i bought tha taufik cd.. its gooooood~ i like close 2 you and missing u always... hahah... he sounds soooooo good, so proud of him~ woohhooo~
i opened tha cd at raimah's.. wanted to check it out... so i was readin tha lyrics and all that shiet..d en i was reading tha page he was thankin pple... go tha kak aleza, his guardian angel.. so sweet... :) so i was readin his frens and all, den got syaheed's name.. got mark, koko and all.. i was like, SYAH! he thanked u.. ahha den syah was like,, yeahh... so cool.. so i was readin den i saw sheena and sabrina.. i was like FUCKKK! no way! he thanked us!!! tho he spelled ma name wrong... but im so FUCKING touched.. he thanked us on his album... he thanked us.. gosh... wow~ im juz so fuckin honoured and touched uh.. seriously...
and i wanna thank ma mom for always bein ther.. :)
me and sheens bough tha mini i pod today.. WOOHOOO~ i got blue and sheens got silver.. nufking cool sia~
uh oh... trouble.. gotta go... gosh.. this sucks... hope its gonna work out...
fuck this shit man.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:52 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, January 13, 2005
i only wanna see u happy~
dats goes to all ma frens, those people whom i care bout.
it's a really great feeling to noe dat u are missed, that there are people there who care for u. its so great to hear those reassuring words.. them werds ive been needing to hear for so long. its so great to receive sucha warm, sincere hug. juz from that hug, to noe ur missed. and dat ur cared for.
its good to noe i have a fren, a best fren, who cares for me, maybe more den herself. she only wanted to see my happiness. and ive never been so touched. bcuz, juz from that one small action. i noe u care.
smallest things mean so much. those small actions. those werds. people may never notice. but its always tha lil things dat count. giving and taking and not always taking.
even when somone always gives u one armed hugs and suddenly gives u 2 arm hugs. and sings to u not to leave even tho u gotta. makes u noe ur presence is appreciated. and its a wonderful feeling.
rover. ur house is amazing. makes me miss mine. hahah. can we go over there again soon? heheheh. tak tau malu.
thank you people, who totally brightenend my day today. u shld noe who ur. i love u to bitses and pieces. i dunt think i can ever find some people that can replace u guys.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:25 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
pushing it away
i bought undies again.. tha brazillian one... i dnt think anybody will geddit except yana.. hahah...
thanks aunty n aunty aishah.. i had fun yesterday, i woke up ard 8.. to send dee off to bali... 6 days in tha sun.. enjoy.. i juz hope u noe to run for ur life oncee tha water looks weird... den afta sendni dee off, me and aunty went to tha lawyer's office, den me mummy's office, den we picked aunty aishah up for our facial.. thanks fer tha belt and tha butterfly coin purse thingy. thank u soooooooooooooooooooo much!!! our facial took 3 hours~ acyually theirs... mine was log over, thank gof i had nufail for company while waiting for them to finish.. heeheheh... afta dat we went paragon for dinner... we went sushi tei... so cool.. me bein a jakun or issit jakon? watever lah, y'all get meh... so i found out dat teempura and tha chicken is yummy... i love tha prawn wit thousand island and basil sushi... its farking good~ i swear. they had mushroom sushi... i didnt eat salmon, but i ate eel... not exacly ma kinda thing uh, but its not bad... tha california roll was good.. i coundt take tha wasabe.. even wit tha loght spy sauce.. i was dying, so i decided not to eat tha wasabe juz tha light soy sauce in tha end.. heheheh....
niwae, i had fun on satrday.. i think.... debateable fer tha ferst part of tha day.. sheesha was quite allryte... but after we left tha 2 couples and rover, me and sheens went serangoon to met syah and all.. dat was blooooooooooooody fun~ omg... funny arses... lets see.. syaheed, mark, danny, eric,sufyan, andy, mun and fique ttc was ther.. oh gosh... tha whole malay prime ministers thing was dope shiet.. i swear, i havent laughed dat much in ages... hahah.. thanks fer tha laugh u guys...
and on sunday, i met man and faisal.. after how blooooooooooooooody lobg.. gosh i missed dem 2 so damn much. now one person left. rosy. i myte be meetin her on thursday? any takers? heheh.. we went pasir ris park. thanks so much fer tha mystery bola ping pong u asshole, faisal. bloody nyentot. if dats even spelled ryte. hahah den we went banquet at eastpoint, meet sheens, syah and sufyan... fique ttc came a whole later... we left fast uh.. man and faisal earlier cuz faisl had to go to skool tha next day.. juz bought his econs tys summore... jc boy. hahaha. u noe i love u guys to bits and pieces. and next week, spore vs indonesia. lets like use red and white? sua? mcm national day sia.. fuck.. cant wait to spend tha day wit me bobbies *yay* anybody else is welcome.. wahahah... actually lets see if ma dad gives meh tha green light, he'll probably say wait got riot very dangerous or watever lah.. haiyoh. oh wells. imma go get ready to meet ma 2 fav animals now. wahahah. and den imma catch meh csi marathon at syah's place.. csi, i loike, heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh~
<3>
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:18 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, January 08, 2005
im feelin sexyyyyyyy~
i went undergarmet shopping today~ oh gosh did i have fun.. bought 3 bras and 2 undies.... im in lurveeeeeee wit ma stuff... i swear.. i shall not go into details bout it... it'll be so wrong... thank u soooo sooo verrrrrrry much aunty~ i really appreciate it... *SMILES* hahah
we got our photos from tha fatimah hamid or watever studio.. kinda cool... i look good without zits! wahahha... who tha hell wont ey?
to ana, thanks fer not bein offended.. was really sweet of u guys to buy tha ipod for him... gosh, how many of u chipped in? can i get one? haha.. kiddin~ :P
i wanna go fer sheesha tmrw..wit ma yamakasi people.. but aaron is confined fer bein caught smokin...silly goon~ i think he be out on saturday but no word from him... i miss adam and mai, a whole lot... so busy those 2.. aiyohhhh~
yanaaaa, come back... i miss u many many also tau~ i wanna chill wit u at tha back... get some uh... fresh air and shiet.. listen to meh mp3.. i got so many songs i want u to hear.... come back soon okek? no pressure~ hahah... maybe we get tha job at starbucks... or coffee bean.. wewt~ hahahah....
cant be bothered wit many things now... ass-hooooooooooooole *trynna imitate LJ from meet tha fockers, bloody cute baby~*
was chattin wit adam yesterday... he said smthin like those people worth caring bout are those who give and dunt take... they dunt expect anythin... i think ive been expecting too much.. ending up disappointed is so not fun... and sometimes i give... and not expect... but i think i may be giving too much.. dats gotta change~ i dunnoe.... some people say ive been too selfish... oh wells... sometimes i get stuck in a situation and i dunnoe how to get out, im sorry if i offended ya, it was never ma intention..
i had fun wit sheena and nufail dat day.. and nufail and fera and dat lil bit of audrey.. u donkey, u had to leave so early~ u didnt get to meet kittieee~ :( haha. like u said there's always next time...
i hope we all can go fer sheesha tmrw...
and i got a new resolution...
i wanna take up driving, hopefully by next year... i can drive ey? wooohhooo~ hahah~ *grins*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, January 02, 2005
New year
i think in ma case, a new year means more stupid things for me to do... i finally figured out wats wrong wit ma blog. this will be a story where nufail will LMAO like hell and say " bodoh sia been" i can juz imagine tha scene in ma head.
niwae, happy belated 17th bday to shaikh aka template boy now.. haha and Dee.. happy 15th bday. heeeeh~ hope u liked ur choo-choo cake.. hehehe..~ Love ya guys.
Sudip. I miss ya loads. I wish u were here so we could go for sheesha when i am down and you can cheer me up wit all ur crap. i felt like cryin, readin ur blog. im so touched to noe ma mom means smthin to ya. wow. im sure she's gonna be damn touched when she reads it. imma let her read it... juz tha bottom part tho. heheh. thanks sweetheart. i sure hope u enjoyed ur new years parties. :)
highlght of new years eve and new years.. *Dino*
-So the story goes-
Me and yana were walkin up warehouse to see sheens and yon... and we saw this really hot guy. so i grabbbed yana and she squeezed ma hand and i was goin 'helllloooo gorgeous' in ma head. hahah.. must be tha whole last day of tha year thing... so i left ma bag and sweater wit sheens... yana stood behind tha counter and mr gorgeous goes up to her and asks if he could leave his bag ther... so yana told sheens and she allowed... details in between ask us yourself uh, but we were on tha dancefloor when he asked yana to dance den i was left alone wit aunty aisyah and uncle lan, den mr gorgeous called me over and asked me fer ma name, he told me he was Dino. hahah... i found out he's 18. yana found out he's eurasian, dad=ang-moh, mom=malay. he's muslim. heheh. At tha end of it.. he was dancing wit dis chineses girl, me and yana from upstairs were like, must be damn hot sia... body damn nice, so she went to tha toilet, me and yana also masuk, action lookin fer sheens and yon. skali tha girl he was dancing wit turned. ma face froze, i smiled and walked out and me and yana started laughing hysterically. Typical munjen wit bugsy teeth...her front 2 teeth were protruding. as in she coundt close her mouth properly. yeah we're evil. and i cant blame tha alcohol cuz i wasnt high anymore when i saw her. but... i think for someone as hott as himself.... he could have done WAY better. It was nice too see Mac after so long. Reza metrosexual was ther fer a while also. Uncle Lan, Nas, Dee, aunty aisyah, Lin and aunty all damn fun lah, esp wen tha guys are high. hahah, tha stupid dances they make up. esp uncle lan. hahahah. cannot tahan sia. And dis bangladeshi guy came in alone and started talkin to yana den she was like, uh, i gtg up.. and whenever we were on tha dancefloor he follow.. he was juz lookin fer people to dance wit lah.. still freaky okay~ everywher we went we'd see him. hahah... and i must say, i saw wei chong, tha one from nds last time. his dance moves are.... well... i'll show u if u wanna se okek... geez tha way some people dance. Nufail, nufail, wher are u when i need you. it would have been perfect of u were ther, den we can laugh at people dancing together, as if i can dance lah, but yeah, it would have been fun~
ma new year resolutions :
-lose some weight.
-not to care for people who dont care for me.
-be more selfish bout wat i want, cuz there's no point i try and make people happy while im unhappy.
U can miss someone and do all u can to try and get dem back but its not gonna werk if ur tha only one tryin. or if tha gap is too wide. i read mai's blog. i love you too and if u need anyone u noe we're here fer ya. I saw adam at simpang today but he didnt see me. He was wit adeq and rawdah.
I really cant be bothered wit anything nimore. People juz make me sad. U learn from people's mistakes. I wish i could make some of u see how much u mean to some of us, but no matter how hard i try, u may seem close, but ur so distant.. the impact uve made in our lives so significant.
Someone told me dat i should not believe dat i have nothing to offer cuz i do. After a while it seems like a tired old line they say to try and make u believe. Seems all i have done is chase those i love tha most away. To those i still have, thank u fer stickin by.
No point regretting tha things i have done or tha things i could have done. No point bein sad over stupid shit. No point caring bout some people cuz everybody has a life and cuz they dunt want u to be in it dunt mean they care any less for u.
Sulaiman i miss you so much. SO SO SO SO SO much. i miss faisal and rosy too. imma stop lookin back and reminisicing tha old times. cuz those are juz past of ma past now and they will only remain bittersweet memories. 2004 was a year i learnt so much bout maself and tha people around me. im no wise owl. i've seen how love can change everything. ive seen how fame can change a fren. and i think i've lost enough. I juz keep wondering wat have i done to keep deserving such misery. But i also thank god everynight for those special people who have brought so much meanning into ma life. And imma keep tellin maself, bein depressed does not make a situatin better. cryin may relieve some stress but it does not solve tha problem. imma avoid dat this year. a brand new year.well people enjoy, maybe i'll see ya around.
P.S : Fera aka boney chicken and Audrey aka donkey... I LOVE YOU GUYS~ heeeeh~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:09 AM| 0 Butterflies
I am a daydreamer.
I think too much.
I am short.
I am gullible.
I love to laugh.
I am highly amuseable.
I can be quite random.
I am friendly,
yet I am very shy.
I love butterflies.
Go figure.
<3 to all I know and love.
My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006
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My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006