butterflies n sweet kisses*

Tuesday, December 28, 2004
kl, genting...

up in tha clouds. away.

we went legend, den kl... iman, fatin, hanum and natasha were in our room til like 4+ tha ferst nyte... hahh, was fun tho we were juz watchin tv and doin stupid shit... second nyte wet uncle shamshe's hse.. was nice.. we made an impromptu happy 22nd wedding annniversary 'cake' fer ma parents... made of baklava and straberries and dates... hahah, wtf... we were supposed to go home on sunday... and tha rest were goin up to genting highlands... ma dad's frens started talkin to him... all tekan him.. tha kids all also chipped in... hahah... so we went genting... den ma dad wanted to go back monday morning and we didnt manage to go fer tha rides on sunday... ma dad mengamuk... but we managed to stay til monday nyte.. we left at 9.. reached spore at like 1.30... from genting to spore, dats like, fast.. i already miss iman and zaimah... i want zaimah, dat cute lil thing... she calls ma dad uncle ba. tha only baby i noe who's not scared of ma dad but absolutely adores him... she'll come up to me or sheens and ask, where's ur father, and when we dunnow, she'll go up to ma mom and ask where's ur father... hahahh... when we were q-ing up fer tha cable car ride, there was a baby cryin and i was carrying her and she was like, dunt cry baby, i love u baby. baby dunt cry, zaimah love u, sabar baby, sabar... hahah.. bloody cuteness.. and when u see her and u ask fer a hug, she'll run to u and hug u and say i miss u altho u been wit her tha whole day.. den when u say bye she say bye and she'll shout i love u.. hahah... so geram.. i think i'll put up her pic here..

i missed a lot too while i was gone... promises made were broken. fights. avoidance of confrontation. not necessarily wat i missed. sheesha. i want. i miss rover and kittie. a lot. no worries aaron. we'll go back to dat 'silent night' another day. have so many questions to ask u. so many things i dont understand. maybe i'll see ya soon. and u finally have ur handphone back! u cant imagine how happy all of us are~ woooohhhooooo~ yeah, maybe. merry christmas niwae, wanted to wish u but was away.

kittie, i havent seen u in ages.... maybe i'll see ya tmrw... sorry coundt get ya tha goods. i didnt get any maself too. dammit. i miss u so much. i need to talk to u... take care okek~

im sad. i feel like everything we've been werkin towards is falling apart. i try ma best to salvage what is left but sometimes people juz keep irritaing me more. they dunt understand dat dey mean a lot to me and tha werds they say hurt me so deeply. so pissed and so hurt. as if they would not act tha same way. i cant take it.i cant stand bein in tha middle. people dunt ever realise wat they have. even if they do its for a while. i dut like bein i this situation. i keep trynna help. but nobody wants it. fine. dunt blame me if it all falls apart. u want to dictate. u dunt wanna listen. u want ur freedom. u dunt want tha rules. its tha same here, but some rules are there fer a reason, for our well being. they dunt want us to get hurt. u juz keep running away. u make people think u dunt care and u only bring people fer a ride... imma stop caring. low self confidence. second child syndrome? no offence but u dunnoe wats really goin on.. maybe on tha surface... i noe where i stand. i dut need this shit from anyone. i want to be left alone. maybe juz wit nufail. someone who understands. i need to be alone.

juz falling apart.

infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:50 PM| 0 Butterflies

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Monday, December 20, 2004
change

wow, how long has it been.. forever... so much has happened.. taufik won singapore idol... taufik batisah, the ferst ever singapore idol... lives have changed... as much as i dunt want thigs to change, they have... im lucky to still have ma family and friends...

i had fun at tha chalet... but never again people, never again... thanks so much princess Z for tha hospitality and tha bed and tha clothes and everythin else...

u gain a star, u lose a friend... how true is that....
hello Taufik Batiash, goodbye fique...
hello Taufik Batisah tha great big star who people cant get enought of, girls want to marry, makciks want as their son in law, tha one every guy wants to be abd every girl wishes she could have, tha arrogant Taufik wit tha entourage.. tha 'pillars'... Taufik with megazine covers, Big headed Taufik..Taufik wit his music video and album... it'll all be on 22nd... tha album... tha music video at 9.25pm.. im gonna be gettin hell fer it... oh wells...
i want fique back, yeah well.. so do all of his friends... tha fique dat can sit at tha coffee shop wit us, tha one who plays pool wit us, tha one who woke me up at god noes wat time to look fer wedding songs fer him, tha fique who calls me lil fairy or fairy girl.. tha one i talk to bout bugers and cheese, tha one who is humble.. tha one who talks non stop, tha one dat can go to tha toilet without bein mobbed, tha one dat can smoke without having to hide... tha fique we all noe and love...

well, if he's really goin out wit leandra, all tha best to dem...

im juz losin everybody slowly... i myte as well say bye to whoever is left and juz be contented wit a life alone... gooodbye y'all...

if i have ever hurt anyone, it was never intenetional ... i'll shut ma mouth. never again....

there's this show manhunt comin out in january on star world, manhunt, ta search fer tha hottest male model... freakin hell... HELLLLLLLLLLLO! perfection.. seriously...

and imma start werkin fer mommy and daddy tmw... i soooo freakin need tha money, and a damn haircut...

part of ma heart has been lost. and i can neer get it back again, dats wat u get fer caring too much fer people. i hafta stop. so it wont hurt.

fuck all this shit man.fuck it all away.

infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:35 PM| 0 Butterflies