Saturday, October 30, 2004
lastly a pic of tha 3 of us wit our new hair tho tha only person's hair who can really be seen is sheena's.. hhaha, stupid bitch, no matter wat she does she looks goood~ grrrrr~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:57 AM| 0 Butterflies
i love dis pic... me and felicia wit tha butterfly background...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:56 AM| 0 Butterflies
faisal bullying me! hahhah...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:55 AM| 0 Butterflies
me and tha bob's.... love tha background... hahah... imma miss em... man, me, hafiz and faisal...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:54 AM| 0 Butterflies
faisal trynna banghra.. hahha.. dats syidi, bubu, man, me and faisal on tha floor...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:53 AM| 0 Butterflies
me and man wit a butterfly! hahahah... his idea to take it wit tha butterfly... hahahha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:52 AM| 0 Butterflies
man and meh wit cikgu aminah... malay... thank gawd fta dis i never hafta do it again...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:51 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 29, 2004
graduation
as we go on, we remember, all tha times had togetha,
and as our lives changed,from watever,
we will still be...
friends forever...
graduation..
tha last day of skool...
cleaned up tha art room in tha morning..
so many roaches! we were all screaming...
afta dat, we had break.. started takin pictures...
i'll post em here later...
imma miss so many things,
so many people..
sulaiman, ma whole 5 years in bds were wit u...
wat a i gonna do without u boy? imma be so lost,
rosy, tha last 2 years of bein ur fren have been great,
u were always ther for me to share all ma good times and bad times
always ther to lend a listening ear...
faisal... u smart alec... imma miss always arguing wit u
imma miss u bullying me..
.imma miss mr muru makin fun of me for reading archie comics...
imma miss maths class wit miss hana..
imma miss sleepin during accounts or listening to mr ong...
imma miss mr ong trynna restore some faith for accounts..
.imma miss mrs jonoh and all her scoldings and gossip, bein gila, singing songs, makin me smile..
i think imma miss ma abraham... her stupid sermon's almost evryday...
imma miss mr tay and him makin us sing i believe i can fly...
but mostly imma miss u guys...
tha times in skool, how we would all end up talkin bout tha future...
talkin crap, watever was botherin us...
miss goin to man's table and sayin, "yunnoe WAT?!?!?"
imma miss fadli and his sudden crappy outburts...
imma miss hafiz and his horny shit..
imma miss goin home wit man,
him waiting wit me til ma bus came.
.imma miss how close simpang was,
walkin ther...
imma miss playin capteh altho we only played today...
imma miss practicals..
imma miss makin fun of people...
imma miss tha spagetti and tha lime juice...
imma miss lining up for recess...
i was so shocked when faisal cried juz now....
oh gawd.. it hit me, ma sec skool life is over..
.bds is no longer ma skool...
juz ma exam centre...
i was so excited for this day to come...
im not totally free yet... almost...
imma miss goin to tha toilet...
imma miss pe and mass run?
how did it end so fast? even wit an extra year...
it ended....imma miss singing wit u in class man...
we will meet up again...
it wont be tha same... it never will be...
ma future is gonna be decided in tha next few days...
on wat i write on pieces of paper...
i juz want u guys to noe, memories still held deep within me...
stories of how sulaiman locked me in tha electrical riser..
or how we would be talkin in class and he'd get all tha scolding...
oh gawd....... tha life i have been living tha past 5 years are over...
time to change and move on huh?
dats tha way life goes...
thanks u guys for makin ma sec skool life amazing..
all tha best for o's.. i believe in ya~ u can and will do it...
much love y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:44 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
missing people
i miss many people.
i miss nufail. please get well soon.
i miss issa... when is ma brain freeze comin? heheheh..
i miss yamakasi. afta o's. dats a promise.
i miss adam. u always made me smile. :)
i miss ur merepek-ness mai. i do.
i miss mummy and francy. i miss mummy tha most. i wish u were here. i wish u could join our late nytes. i miss u gila2... i miss tha way u always had so much faith in me and always made me feel so much better. i miss how u always made me feel so special. u always gave me confidence. ma angel is missing. i wish u were here to complete tha picture.
i miss sulaiman, i keep sayin im goin to skool but cuz im up til late i cant wake up. im sorry love. i miss faisal too... as crappy as u are, as much as we have a love-hate relationship ur one heck of a mature 16 yr old and i always value ur opinions, ur a smart boy.
i miss simpang and ma teh o peng.
i miss tha playground.
ma mom was cool bout us havin a chalet. she said we can have it when ma dad goes shanghai. 16th december. but nufail, adam and mai will be in skool. rover will prolly still be in camp. i so want it to happen, but tha odds are against us. a chalet wit me, yana and kakak would be cool but we're wit each otha each nyte. u guys would so complete it. it would be grec. haiz~ oh well...
a hurdle i hafta pass thru ferst. i can do it?
i miss y'all many many...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:07 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 24, 2004
lorong melayu
i walked thru tha white fence, tha fountain, once so lively, full of fishies, tha water running down, sounds so lovely, so peaceful, now a cemented grave, covered up, i walked on top of tha fountain, lookin at tha rocks and tha potted plants covering tha fountain.. than i realised tha place seemed so bare... it was so hot all of a sudden, i looked up at our beloved mango tree... tha one ma mom used to climb to wrap tha mango's to save them from those durn bats, but ther was nuthin ther, inplace of our huge shelter of a mango tree was juz some pebbles on tha floor, covering up tha moss... i stood under our attap pondok... tha wind chimes ma mother so meticulously straightened out when they were tagled was now gone, tha only thing left of it was its circular base and tha string, tha wind enveloped me and i gazed sadly at tha wind chimes which usually would tinkle ever so softly... tha hari raya lights ma grandfather put up to add colour to tha pondok was hanging from tha wooden supports... lifeless... tha attap used fer tha 'roof' of tha pondok was also half gone... i sat on tha steps to enter... millions of memories came rushing back, those basketball matches, tha drinks i'd hafta bring out for everyone cuz everone one else was too busy playin ball... how i sed to feed tha fishes... tha lil parties we used to have, tha big screen.. watching movies or juz playin music damn loudly and dancing around... ma room.. nufail and mai cmin over and ransacking ma cupboard, all of us tryin on clothes.. ma window, sitting outide, lookin at tha sky.. goin into sheena's room at nyte to use tha com or talk to her, watch tv... juz chill... from those steps i looked in.. i saw tha speakers... tha dinig area, our diningtable, tha kitchen... i remembered how we used to cook watever we wanted, pasta, id bake brownies or wake up in tha morning tha morning to make pancakes.. how if we had no space on tha couch we'd grab our pillows from upstairs and lie on tha carpet... or how we'd all watch a movie togetha, mama and papa and han crashing on one couch and me and sheena on tha other wit a blankie... how sometimes when it rained, ma dad will tell us to go play in tha rain and we'd run out sqealing den he'd take tha hose and spray us.. and we'd all get wet and we'd hafta go in by tha back cuz we were all soaking wet... can i have it all back please. i want ma home, i wanna be irrated by tha chicken on tha jackfruit tree, cock-a-doodle-dooing away at 4 am pissing tha hell outta me, i wanna go back to grabbing smtin to throw at them and missing dem, i wanna hafta run up and down juzto get smthin.. i want to be able to ask anybody come over and chill... i want it all back.
i want ma home.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:57 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 22, 2004
threading
i went threading today..uber painful but i have nice eyebrows now.. i never knew i even had eyebrows.. hahah... so cool.com, nufail, b4 raye we go okek! its kinda painful ya lha, no doubt.. not dat bad...
one werd to descibe ma life and wat im feelin now.
FUCK
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:40 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, October 21, 2004
you persecuted me...
Dear Mr man,
Why do u see me in that light?
Because of the solitude i'm facing?
My sparkle died when he let go of my hand
Dear Mr man,
Why do u say my smile is beautiful?
Because within it is a massive frown
And i have to conceal it from the people i love
Dear Mr man,
Why do you say i'm cherubic?
Because all you see is laughter, and happiness
Not the agonising journey of torment i'm going thru
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you see me as whole?
Because a slice of me has been eaten raw
The dagger used was not sharp enough and it hurt even more
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you say i'm exquisite
Because a robber stole the key
Stabbed my heart and twisted the knife while at it
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you say i'm happiness
because i laid my heart on a silver platter
And i got it back, chopped to a million pieces
Dear Mr Man,
What you see is not what it seems
The chapter is closed, and was good while it lasted
Allow me to find my vivacity...
thank you sheena fer tha poem
fer helpin me xpress wat i wanted to say in werds.....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:50 PM| 0 Butterflies
wat tha fuck
oh well... so much fer havin fun today...
i mean i did have fun....
juz wasn't tha same without rover and kittieeee...
rover's eyes are soooo much better....
kittiee... pass ur pox to aaron... hahaha
den he can miss camp summore....
we were talkin bout tha yamakasi chalet...
but like wat adam said.. i dunt think it will happen...
kittiee prolly cant stay over, rover will prolly still be in camp..
i hafta study now.. go tuition everyday...
they keep sayin i cant make it..
but thank gawd fer mr goh.. he's payin more attention to me now...
and i can actually understand him...
its gettin better..
i hafta fuckhin do it man..
pass mah maths...
wat a fucked up subject...
bout 2 more weeks...
ma motvation is showing mr tan and meh dad i can do it...
and thinkin of tha grec times i will have afta it...
tha o's will pass...
i cant fuckhin wait...
i so want tha yamaksai chalet....
all tha grec-ness..
dang it lah...
for once cant we all have time fer yamakasi...
all togetha..
chillin.. grecing...
doin yamakasi shyte togetha...
juz grecing lah...
when we all go home..
its so sad...
i juz wanna chill longer...
i really love ma family...
i love ma yamaksaians...
i love sulaiman... on monday nyte, i dunnoe why,
but i juz missed him a whole lot all of a sudden..
its juz so fated dat we're beside each otha during practical ey? haha
borrow calculator...
borrow liquid paper...
hahahah...
i love rosy and faisal too...
dat day when i brought meh mp3 playa to skool..
we were juz chillin, doin maths to grec songs...
he's juz so fulla crap...
he's so gonna do well fer his o levels.. freakin smart sia he..
rosy also.. everytime i see her, she's doin her maths...
man... u and meh, we gonna do it..
go tp togetha...
i dunt care..
imma drag u along wit meh bodoh! heeeeh~
imma miss yamakasi...
they make me so.. happy...
i want all 7 of us...
i juz realised.... all tha animals are always missing...
giringo... kittieee.. rover.. wtf is up wit dat uh? hahahah
kittieee... get well soon okek.. ur gonna be fine.. dunt scratch urself..
i noe cats tend to do dat,,, hahahha.. soryr love...
rover... get ready to get anotha bout of chicken pox.. we're not lettin u go back to camp! hahah.. den u can fly away wit mehh...*wheeeeeee*
so depressing... so sad... i hate this...
get ursellf togetha bodoh....
take a knife and stab me please....
or lemme juz fly away...
far far far away...
to heaven maybe?
hahha...
and im so proud of mehself fer fasting today...
i can do this...
i got so much people in me who believe in me..
i hope it shall not be futile...
i juz dunt think i can do it...
seriously.....................................
myte as well enroll in ite now kan?
macpherson? at least got shaikh.. HAH!
fuck dis shiit.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:37 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
new skin?
i dunnoe if this wll come out as meh new skin.. hope it does! thanks nufail babyyyyyyyyy! i dunnoe wat id do without ya! hahah..
ma practical today was crap.. i forgot ma entry proof... had no calculator( thanks fadli fer urs! thank gawd u brought extra! love yaaa!!! heheh) i managed to photocopy ma entry proof tha original one wit skool.. so lucky.. i broke a measuring cylinder... haiz.. wth was i doin...
went fer tuition juz now.. i wanna do ma maths.. wanna prove to mr tan and mr goh i can do it! i hafta...
had fun at simpang juz now tho mai and nufail were missing.. :( haiz... and adam.. i better get a rich husband uh! hahha
i cant really blog cuz im excited to see ma new skin... hope it comes out ryte...
niwae.. aaron, ur eyes lookin better, as much as tha poking and digging hurts, its fer tha better... ur gonna be back to normal in no time...
i realy hope dis wednesday happens, really really really a WHOLEEE lot hopin its gonna happen...
now imma wait fer nufail's signal so i change publish dis and check out meh new skin...
like dat also excited uh.. hahah.. lame sabreena.. oh well.. wats new.. im ha idiot who didnt even noe she lost her wallet.. hahah
much love y'all.... thank so much fer everythin u've done fer me...
and thanks aunty and sheena fer hlpin meh put tha songs in ah mp3 player, and fer tha butterfly bracelet... thank u for everythin... you all dunnow how grateful i am fer havin such beautiful people i ma life... thank god for y'all...
ps.. mai and adam, happy 1 month. and one day, ima abit late... hahha oops.. hahahha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:27 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 18, 2004
100th post
dis is meh 100th post! *wheeeeeeet* eee! imma blogger freak! hahha...
niwae... new pics! wheeee~ me in tha skirt dee bought fer meh on ma bdae.. which is ta same as shaira's.. sorry gurl.. i didnt realise... hahah...
yesterday ma dad woke me up sceaming at me bout me losing ma wallet and screaming y i didnt tell him.. was it cuz i was scared.. i was like WTF? i didnt lose ma wallet, its in ma bag and he said some seargent tan called and asked me to collect it... hah.. i went to tha back to check ma bag and lo and behold.. i LOST ma wallet without me even knowing it... so ma dad drove me to marine parade npp only for it to be closed, so i called seargent tan and he told me its marine parade NPC not npp... wat a doinkz.. so we went ther and i collected ma wallet feelin like sucha idoit.. i didnt even noe i lost ma wallet... tha list of thinggs in ma wallet was hysterical.. 2 miniature perfume bottles.. pictures... one zion cybercafe card which isnt even mine... all ma doctor appointment cards... aiyoh.. lookin thru it i was so pai seh... hahah.. and i got aLL ma money back.. so thank u mohammad imran bin smthin smthin... for returning ma wallet in good condition without takin ma money... must have been bcuz it was ta ferst day of ramadan and all... and u were sucha truthful person.. hahah... thank gawd pple like u still exist... hahah...
ma mom and ma aunty got me a creative mp3 player! wooohoooo! thank you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!! seriouslly.. its got512 mb... can hold bout 120 songs... ryte now.. i cant transfer ma songs from ares into tha creative thingy so i cant put songs in but i WANT!!!! ughhh.... i can bring tmrw cuz got practical and im 2nd shift and imma be locked up afta dat... aiyoh... niwae... i hope like hell sheen can help me! kak sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! help me tau! yunnow i love u many many.. heeeeeeeeh~ :P
okek.. all tha best to mehhh fer ma practical tmrw.. and to yana and all those pple who are takin it tmrw also.. u CAN do it! hahah
niwae we were thinkin of tha yamakasi chalet... i sooo wanna... mamom seems cool bout it uh.. so *crosses fingers* all tha plans afta tha o's and puasa, ferstly tha most impt thing is ma maths! i hope i can do it man.. im so hopeless... haiz...
sheena was thinkin of makin a journal kinda thing bout us all... seems much fun... its a werkin progress... fer simpang outings and yamakasi... shall start on it soon... we got pics dats y its so fun... hahah
and hanboy like rock the casbah by solar twins... hahah.. happening lah dat song... thanks adamsies... and aaron.. tha twisters silence song.. listen to me mama is grec lah.. hahah.. ouh yaaar aaron, all tha best fer ya eye speacialist check up tmrw... take care tau~ ur eyes are freaky... im sorry but maybe cuz u have green eyes dats y it looks freakier den ours ey.. you'll get well soon! no worries! u can do it! ahahah
and we all hafta puasa! hahah yay! ma dad got dis email thingy... one day of fasting brings u 70 years furthur away from hell or smthin like dat... when u fast cuz u wanna please HIM.. he shall reward u... wow! makes me more motivated to fast now.. hahah...
much love y'all~ to ma yamakasi people... love ya loads..
to aunty and tha rest of family.. love ya loads...
to tha bob's in meh class... love ya loads... sulaiman.. i juz hopin ur okay.. so worried bout u tau~ haiz... i feel like a horrible best fren... :(
lets hope to see some miracles happening soon ey?
ouhhh and today i iman's bdae... i sms-ed him but i think he's not usin that number nimore... so happy 17th birhday.. as if you'll ever see dis... hahah...
<3>
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 17, 2004
aaron's sore sore eyes... dis is wat we passed to him.. plus a lil of gawd noes wat cream he put into his eye... so exorsist-ish.. take care lah u silly boy!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:28 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 16, 2004
tha 3 of us chillin on aunty's car.. hyundai getz... hehe... she juz got tha p plate as u can see... mang i love tha skirt! wheeeee~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:40 PM| 0 Butterflies
me and ma lovely aunty(wit sore eyes at dat time.. heheh.. contaigious) chillin at starbucks at siglap...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:39 PM| 0 Butterflies
i was bugging sheena to take a nice of pic of meh in tha skirt.. for your info.. dis is tha skirt dee bought fer meh fer meh birthday! thanks soooooooo much dee! *smiles*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:37 PM| 0 Butterflies
puase today...
hopefully dis wont come out cacat...
PUASA STARTS TODAY! so fast... geez, o levels soon... imma die.. mathssss... i shall live,eat, breathe it... roight... hahah
i went for spore idol yesterday... so good to be back in that atmosphere... fer tha last time... puasa now... haiz~ ma dad wont let us go.. niwae, i used tha skirt which dee bought fer meh fer mah bdae, happens to be tha same as shaira, yana's fren, nut i didnt noe... but i look good, so who cares, hahah... fique and olinda did tha best, sly was horrible... so was jerry... hahah... i didnt think daphne was dat bad uh.. maia like free show... we were sayin ken must've seen her undies, dats y he was not so mean to her... heeeeh~ i didnt get to see fique afta tho.. freakin sad.. haiz... :(
i went back to skool today and ma frens were like, eyyy, sabbb, welcome back! hhaha, den dis guy alex gave ma a halls sweet, i wa slike, yay, sweet and i popped it in ma mouth, grinning at man and rosy and faisal... they looked at me one kinda den they man was like, ey sab, u never puasa uh? i was liike.. oh shyteeeeeeeee! and i spat it out.. sucha dumbass... hahhaha.. oh well.. still counted okay! it was unintetional... ahahah.. ros saw me and tha ferst thing she said was, sab, u lost weight.. hahah... cmon, its only 1 kg.. is it dat obvious? hmmm... i wanna lose 2 more kg... ma ideal weight den... hahaha...
niwae, nufail! black pepper beef crispy noodles soon ey? get yamakasi along uh... *wheeeeeeeeeeeet* heheheheh.. we were discussing how weird enuff, if u realise, food and drinks brings pple closer togetha uh kittieeee?.. to kittie, food and drinks brOngs pple closer togetha, wakakakak. im sorry, it juz sounds damn weird, i noe its a typo love.. but still.. wahhahaha... ey, wait afta puasa we makan at samar, den can sheesha.. that place damn nice tau! farah's bf, ahamd werks ther... get discount.. wheeeeeeeeee~
i forgot wat else i wanna talk bout... cuz of some pple screaming at me.. nenek gonna masak mee soup... wheeet.. cant wait, hafta go fer useless tuition later... yalkz... id rather have faisal or syah teaching meh.. haiz... wat tha hell.. laters y'all~ i hope we get tp buke togtha one day yeaw~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:00 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, October 14, 2004
simpang yamakais! *wheeeeeeeet* finally all 7 of us togetha.... from left mister music(adam), tango(sarah), spider(nufail), sitting bull(me) baseball(sheena,in tha cap) weasel(yana) and rocket(aaron)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:13 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
when she loved me
i got lots to write bout.. no mood to, prolly will... i juz feel so fucted now... dunnow why, this feelin of despair... im clawing ma way out.. nobody seems to be able to see ma grasp is geetin looser and looser...
adamsies.. they'll be safe... i'll try ma best to do wat i can.. it shall be allryte, u have sarah and u have us...
nufail, ma star... shine brightly.. dont think too much bout that feelin... im kinda feelin like dat too... but alls good for now.. we'll face it togetha when it comes okays? <3>
sarah... <3..>
yana, please keep remnding me never to meet HIM again! gawd! i wanted to kill maself.. so farking irritating and gay CAN? GAWD! geez... hang out soon? yeah, ryte..gawd, wat was i thinkin tha ferst time i met him? madness!!!! i have learnt smthin... some kinda cute guys= irritating like HELL!!!!
im so damn gullible can? aiyoh... aaron's camp has an extension? ma ass lah... hahha... sucha dumbass...
aaron... u fren me tak? i still u <3>
fark dis feeling.. it wont go away... cant take dis shiet no more... cant cant cnat cant cant cant cant cant cant....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:16 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 11, 2004
cut me some slack
Dear God,
Please cut me some slack, gimme a break, cant i bloody be happy? wth... like really happy, feel complete kinda happy, dat kinda happy, can? can? CAN??? geeeeeez~
nuff wit dat shit... nufail! u got a digicam! *wheeeeeeT* cam whore!!! woohooo... had fun today, thanks babes.. yamakasi! whoohooo! hahah.. sarah, hope u had fun shopping for ya camp yeaw? *winks*
issa~ get well soon... and don think nobody cares, we all do! and you are SO NOT fat can? hhahah... madness lah u boy! i want ma frozen youghurt brain freeze thang okays? *tapping foot, waiting* heeeeeh...
Happy birthday papa and nenek... we went to swensens juz now.. had steak.. yalks.. chewy, not nice... saw kakak min! afta sooooooooooo long! hahah, when i saw her in tha car i ran like a crazed fool and hugged her... i think i shocked her... hahah.. den tha guy gave balloon, i was like, i want green and sheehan took it.. nevermind, so i said i wanted orange and ma cousin hamkah took it, so in tha end i took pink.. pastel pink... of all damn colours.. hahhah.. hope ya enjoyed tha day... i was left contemplating many things...
Syah.. i heard wat happened... if ya need someone to talk to... u can give ma a call okays? imm always be herre, like a leech... <3
i think our eyes are gettin better but when ma aunty and grand aunt and mabel all see they were lookin at me as if i had a third eye or smthin.. gawd, i dunt think its dat bad can?
im waiting for tha day... God.. watcha doin up ther mang?
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it each and every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of other
sA simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know
which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
i love this song, yeah so wat if its by westlife, i still love it... :)
keep smiling sabreena, maybe it'll look up soon yeaw~
HAH!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:24 PM| 0 Butterflies
secret
i juz love maroon 5 can? heeeeeh..
secret
Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road
Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don't ever let go Oh No
I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can't
Driving fast now
Don't think I know how to go slow
Where you at now
I feel around
There you are
Cool these engines
Calm these jets
I ask you how hot can it get
And as you wipe of beads of sweat
Slowly you say "I'm not there yet!"
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:04 AM| 0 Butterflies
yana has scaweeeee eyes! wheeeeet.. check out tha cloitz tho~ wooohoooo! i loike! hehe, dats tha rawk star ther bside her.. her rawk star*ahem*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:12 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 10, 2004
heeeeeeeeh~
sarah's bdae was uber fun.. hiding behind tha truck, suprising her.. haha. if ma blog comes out bad im sorry, its kinda blur now, ma eyes i mean.. i watched yamkasi at nyte wit yana~ HAPPENING!!! hahah
adam i think ur more sitting bull den me CAN??? sarah! quick! agree wit me! hahah.. he like sit down, chill... im get too sexited to be sitting bull lah, i dunt hafta be music, but im soooooo not sitting bull... hahha... sheena's like tha hott one, baseball.. wth... okay so like adam is music, sarah is tango. aaron is rocket, sheena is baseball. nufail is spider, yana is weasel and im sitting bull? hmmm.. me and yana need some changing.. hahh...
i had fun playin pool today... and simpang.. tho aaron was like so mean today, wat ninja turtle shit! grrrrrrrrrr! hahah.. and i had fun watchin adam dance to smoke machine... hahhh... sheena gettin on an air con+eye drop+ she beat aaron 2x high... hahah squashing wit sarah on tha sofa chair thingy... and nufail... heeeeh.. meetin ur sis and sha'ista.. was fun fun fun...
white chicks is FUCKING FUNNY! i recommend to evryone who wants a good laugh! i wanna watc again! nufail, monday sua? hahahah much love y'all.. had much fun today.. thanksies... *smiles*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:59 PM| 0 Butterflies
aaron and adam... action garang.. hurhurhur....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:07 PM| 0 Butterflies
aunty oon.. dee and anuty aisyah and mehhh!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:05 PM| 0 Butterflies
lovely couple.... awwwwwwwww
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:04 PM| 0 Butterflies
ma bdae wit ma GURLFRENSSS!!!! love y'all! <3 i look good even wit sore eyes.. wheeeeet~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:02 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 09, 2004
happy bdae mai
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!
finally 17 ey babes, now for tha next month we can rub in nufail's face dat we are OFFICALLY 17.. heeeeh~ so evil.. enjoy ur day today love... too bad i cant be ther to celebrate ur burfay wit u today babes... u'll have fun wit adam niwae...heheh... i'll be passing u ur letter soon yeah? when i see ya next.. much love babes... *smiles*
PSSSST....
dig ma eyes out can? ain... im in agony... kena halau from skool... all tha teachers all like. go away. all ma frens all say. go home please! haiz... im not wanted or loved nimore.. niwae, rosy, khai, olin and dq got me a sweet bdae pressie, dis siler butterfl bracelet.. can use it fer raye... thanks u guys... when i came back to class. i didnt even noe who tha hell was hugging me.. hahah... it was torture uh, seriously... but it was good to be abck, even for a while... much love to y'all//
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SARAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~
much love always, BFF.. heeeeh, dats so sweet valley... hurhurhur <3
nufail, i'll buy ma own ciggie case wokays! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! u ma bff also tau~ :P
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:49 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 08, 2004
much love from sheena cuz i was feellin crappy cuz of ma sore eyes... love her mang! heheh
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:36 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
fuck
i can't take it anymore!
DIG MA EYES OUT! SOMEBODY PLEASE!
feelin fucted... cannt help it... ma eyes are makin me so down.. brings ma depression out...
*DIES*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:13 PM| 0 Butterflies
post bdae
POST BIRTHDAY BASH~
i went to tha doc again on monday.. yesterday... wit sheena... ma eyes still so bad... sheena's even werse, yana also but she dunt wanna take mc... doc gave us 3 more days.. so im on mc til wednesday... i was reallly excited for lunch, supposed to meet sulaiman.. i condt wait... i miss him so farkin much can? so i called him during malay, wrong timing, sorry... hahah... he wanted to go home and change ferst... so i met hi at bedok mrt at 4... gave him aBIG hug.. miss him so dman much! hahah so we went up and i saw some guy waving2.. i was like, wth, upon closer inspection (much squinting) i relised it was faisal! hahah.. he actuall came down1 i was so touched knwing dat he is im too busy for anythin cuz i wanna study... but dats a good thing, dats y ur so smart u nerdy brainiac.. hahah.. so they gave me ma pressies, faisal gave me dis mogu-ishthingy, duck lookin piyo-piyo thing,,, i named it duckie! heheh... and man gave me tha sweetest card and this care bears thingy.. so damn cute can... he's tha night-time bear and im tha wish bear, so wish upon me, i try to make people's wishes come true, except ma own ones... and they were like, sab... wher u wanna cut ur cake... they bought me a freakin cake can? so we went to tha esplanade to cut it... faisal recorded it.. den we headed down to fish & co. for lunch.. thanks so farkin much u guys, it was a wonderful day for me, i loved it to death... man i could nothave asked for a better buncha frens and sucha amazing family... pre bdae thingy in kl... bdae suprise at simpang and pos bdae bash at tha esplanade, all wit tha people i love tha most... so so amazing.. thank you god. i am so grateful. thank you.
ma eyes are so freakin dry now... ma head hurts.. so much... ma eyes are blurry..
went to tha hospital juz now...tha doctor poked and prodded ma eyes.. PAIN CAN?!?!?!? so evil... check up next week... ma head is spinning...
i keep seeing tha spore idol adverts... make me think of fique and mondayyyy.. i missed tha chance man! grrr! oh, well... hopefully, dis thursday can go uh... thursday goin back to skool... yay~
ma o levels is comin soon... imma die... DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! i can do it, oh gawd gimme tha strength.
i had fun at simpang today. *smiles* some people were missing tho. yamasaki! and why tha hell am i tha bull/fierce or watever one.. i am so not fierce can? im like tha least fiercest person among all of us.. wat tha hell... u all get such cool cool ones...and wat do i get? some bull one.. at least they thought of me ryte? whahaha...
life shits u around sometmes ey, more like a lot of times, i'll never understand mine, how u can love someone so much and yet be so bitter.. but not bitter at tha thought.. i dunt understand maself.. ma eyes hurt a lot now.. a whole freakin lot... haiz... til later or next time... peace..
Love ya sulaiman, thanks so much for evrything u have done fer meh... thank you and bob 1, aunty oon, aunty aisyah, dee.. mama, papa, rosy, tha yamsaki/simpang clan.. hahah...
ma eyes hurt so bad... and cuz of it ma head hurts... arghhhhhhhhh, fucking sore eyes. shiibai! oh ya, doc said we all have infection, dats y its so bad... yana got internal bleeding also... por babies... wahhaha... da lah... i wanna... dig ma eyes out and let it soak in eye drops or watever... *screams loudly and faints*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:18 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 04, 2004
happy birthday to meeeeeeee
Happy birthday to meeeeeee
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeee
Happy birthday to (insert watever nickname u wannna herre)
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
finally 17! sarah u have more days, not a long wait lah,
nufail, another month! no worries, ma papers will be over by den, except for sci paper 1, so we can farkin P-A-R-T-Y, okays? whahah
dis is gonna be a LONG entry, so people, bear wit me. or u culd juz give up now, hahah...
kl was fun fun fun... i love tha stuff i bought! ma belt is uber coolness.com... i love ma belt, for RM$160, how could i not farkin love it? hahah... i was like kinda cryin on saturday nyte cuz i still had sore eyes and it spread to ma otha eye.. meanin ma bdae would be spent wit sore eyes... kinda lame i noe, but bein tha emo idiot dat i am... haiyoh.. hahah.. thanks mom and dad for makin us go.. thanks yana and kakak and aunty for comin and makin tha trip so dam enjoyable.. *grins widely* wher would i be without u guys? haiz...
on tha way up i saw a car, its lisence plate was MARI. dats all. no numbers, no otha letters, juz capital, MARI. i was laughing alone.. haha im weird... i thought of noraa, cuz of his MARI thing... i THINK u shld noe wat im talkin bout ryte? hahah.. if u dunt den nxt time i shall explain to ya or smthin...
we were havin 'roti cannai' aka roti prata at malaysiaon friday nyte, ther was dis family behind us, indian family (from bombay according to yana, hahahaha!) i was takin pic of yana's eye... den dis guy behind(was facing me) started laughing.. i started laughing.. i was like, ey yana, see, even dat guy laughing at u, cuz he laughed when i was showing yana tha pic of her eye... den he looked at me and was like, sorry! i was like, no, its okay, hos brother all turn, den yana also turn ard look at him wit her scaweee eyes. i think dats y he apologized, so we were eating happy2 den his bro came back to tha table, den he asked me wat happened to ma eye.. i kept repeating maself sore eyes but he coundt hear so i diverted ma attention back to ma yummy tandoori chicked waiting fer me on ma table, wahhah...
~MY BIRTHDAY~
so i thought it was juz gonna be ma aunty, dee, sheena, yana, nunu and noraa at simpang celebrating ma bdae wit me, once we gt home, yana had to get some stooopid shit from her fren and sheena had to go farah's house to hand up some crappy project shit... i was at home, on ma birthday, doin nuthin... i called nunu and i met her, of course in true nunu style, i had to wait for her even tho i took a bus.. ahaha... got a GOOOOOD hug from her, man i missed her like hell!!! hahah.. so we sat down and she asked penguin to join table, clue no.1.. duh nufail! hahah so den she kept gettin phone calls and she juz went yesh yesh, okay okay kinda thing, clue no.2!! haha den, she asked me to change place, and coundt give a good reason... clue no.3.. hahah i love u babes! hahah no worries... den all of a sudden, i heard HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, bein sang REALLLLL loudly, i turned, and ma aunty was holdin ma cake wit ma 17 candles... and i saw, everybody! aunty oon, dee, aunty aisyah, sheena, yana, sarah, adam and noraa, if i could cry i would have... it was amazing! i thought i coundt beat last yr's bdae, but they overdid themselves this yr! seriously... hahah
nunu, its too bad u had to go off early. u missed tha fun... :( thank u for comin and takin part in ma suprise bdae thingy,,, thank u soooo much baby~ *smiles* urs is gonna be funner! hehe...and i hope u like tha prressies yeaw! love ya many many <3
sarah and adam, thank u for coming down and for tha flower, its socute.com and for tha letters... without fail ey sarah? u'll be gettin urs in 4 days... :) thank u guys... its nice to see u 2... hahah... so happy togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... madness... much love... <3
sheena and yana. tha masterminds together wit aunty, thank u so farkin much... u guys noe i really needed a cheer, and a huge one u gave to me... thank u for always bein ther for me when i needed ya, i could not have asked for a grec-er family den u guys, thank u for everythin u have done for me, thank u.
Thanks aunty aisyah for comin down, i noe ur tired, esp juz afta ur flight form amstedam... ryte? hahah and dee, thanks for comin! thank u guys smuch, u people give me all tha suppost i need and could ever want...
noraa, i hope u enjoy tha gifts..hard for tha three of us to come to a decision but we did! so yay~ hahah, its like a goin off to camp and we cant chill wit u as much kinda gift... damn ur camp! u ppromised saturday, pool... haha double promise, u guys can come along, afta ur exams ryte? i noe u guys can and will do it fe rur exams, yes adam evn for ur one paper, u gonna do well. or i'll shave ur legs! hhaha.. i'll juz get sarah to do tha dirty werk... readin ur blogs, i dunt think mai is goin indon kan? im not gonnna let it happen, thank gawd ur small, we can stuff u in some bag and ship u off to adam's house til tha coast is clear! nunu, any otha plans? plan kidanp conspiracy sarah is in tha making... hahah, nobody is takin sarah away, not NOW! not EVER! *roar* to whoever tries! wheeeeeeee~
sulaiman, u were missin sweetie, i wished u were ther... it would have been complete... its okay, tmrw u and me shall have one by ourselves okays? i miss u sooooooooooo much can? i hate this sore eyes! cant wait for lunch... til tmrw... :) thank u for ebin ther for me since sec 1... thank u cuz no matter wat i knew i had ur support and ur love from tha start, u wont be leavin me anytime soon! i woundt have it!
sukhi, thanks fer callin and listenin to me jab away, i miss u soooo much also! :( soon okays? i shall see u soon! and i hope i'll have a presie for ya on ya bdae, i havent forgotten~
saving tha best for last... i thought it would be ber cool if fique could come for ma bdae.. so yesterday, i had a phonecall. i almost didnt get to pick up tha phone cuz i was so shocked. it was FIQUE. i saw his smiling face on ma phone and i was like, WAHHHT? hahah i was like SHHHHHH at evryone at tha table, okay, more like, OI! SHH! ITS FIQUE!!!!!!! hahah how not to be sexited adam? hahah... he was like, sabreeeena, i was likem yeah, he asked me if i were free tmrw, i blurted out, i have sore eyes dissapointingly! and he was oh.. ur sick? he wanted me to come down for a trailer recording, they wanted 5 friends, and he fucking asked me CAN? i mean as much as i go fique fique fique, we not tight i was soooooo shocked he asked me... i was tellin him i juz came back from kl, he asked for wat. den i said shopping and to celebrate ma bdae and he was like, oh, when's ur bdae? i was like, today. den he sang for me! and me in ma sexitedness was like, no, sing again so i can record.. and he laughed and was like, i'll sing when i see u okays? u take care, and all dt shyte... 4pm today... maybe some otha pple coundt make it dats y he asked me, at lest he asked kan? hahah...kicking maself over that lost oppturnity... haiz! farkin sore eyesssssssssss~ wish i could have done tha trailer... 4pm... i shall be wonderin til than... *RARGHHHHHHHHHHHH* so uber frustrating!
much love to ya'll who made ma day complete... thank u for ur sms-es pple, thank u for eveythin uve done for me, wat hasnt killed me has only made me stronger... 17 yrs and im strong! *wheeeeet* chey deba sab, big fuck uh... hahahah love y'all.. thanks so fucking much. if i counted ma blessings, tha list would be... too long.. and i also wanna thank syaheed and shaikh... thx fer comin down shaikh, i noe u didnt slp 4 2 days and juz finished werk and syaheed, thanks fer tha sms-es and all ur concern always... thank u for always bein ther when i needed somebody to talk to or juz plain directions... thank u syah!
i love y'all much much muchhhhhhhhhh can? *smiles* thank u for one of tha most amazingest day of ma life...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:59 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 02, 2004
kl
aiyoh... aaron, noraa... ive been spelling it wrong! wahahha, sorry! hahah and u finally accepted ma damn testimonial! u arse! and i still have tha white leaves u gave me on monday.. imma keep it.. white leaves, woohoo! hahah nufail! keeps urs also! hahahah... and imma miss ya LOADS man! stupid army! how can they do dat to you? we're only gonna see u on weekends? 8 weeeks? haiz! nvm, by tha time ur thingy is over, ma o levels will be over so me and rocker/exorsist gurl can chill wit ya anytime! hahah and if im werkin i can buy u a pack! hahah if im werkin lah k? haha if not we stick to drinks! u too nufail love! hahahah... drinks and packs and good company... *woohooo* adam and mai can buy fer urself uh? hahah.. sheena and yana i loveeeeeeeee you! lets go mad okays? freakin sore eyes!
went simpang yesterday wit yana, sheena and aunty... haha noraa came later.. MUCH later! had fun at simapng, dat faizal guy came and talk2 to us, den we went to see his huskies! tha puppies are tha freakin cutest thingies ever CAN? $1800 for a husky... whoa! nufail.. miss ya! :(
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much LOVE to all tha people i love. u noe who ur~
p.s: to all you lil kiddies out ther, kids at heart lah k... HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:16 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 01, 2004
open
its all good. one day i shall be happy. truly happy. i am happy now. *SMILES* after a breath of 'fresh' air and some thinkin, im so sorry if i stood in your way of happiness. simpang soon? ma heart is no longer wounded. rising from tha depths of tha ocean. i stand before it. wind blowing in my hair, i stare at tha grandness of it all, tha beauty, tha water holding me back before now has given me a new lease on life, tha darkness has faded. they truly make each other happy. im happy for them. i am loved. yana is mad. tha freaky eyes is makin her even more retarded. lalalalalalalala...
i wanna go singapore idol! damn sore eyes! fique~ u go kick some bootey! we'll be screaming for ya back home at chai chee, im sure u'll be able to hear us.. hahah...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:39 AM| 0 Butterflies
if she can, so can i!
such melancholic weather. suits my disconsolated soul. i feel like im bein sucked into a blackhole. emotions void. screaming, knicking, these chains pulling me back, holding me prisoner to thoughts and memories. somebody help break me free. i dont make people feel whole. maybe 1/4 or maybe 1/8, actually i think its less. no matter how hard i yell, scream, cry, beg, i wont be heard.somebody save me from these depths of hell. the water agitated by my screams, pummel against me, drowning me.. slowly my tired body gives up the fight , accepting the frigid water, it washes over me. the torture is not worth it. i feel myself going down, deeper and deeper under those murky depths. can somebody save me before its too late? men in skin tight suit wit a red cape and red underwear on tha outside instead of tha inside need not apply. i was such a fool. hoping. disillusioned. warped. in my own world. how could i not see i meant nothing. just a muse. to be used at every whim and fancy. be happy. wat a joke. laugh hard, its a long way to the bank.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:55 AM| 0 Butterflies
lastly a pic of tha 3 of us wit our new hair tho tha only person's hair who can really be seen is sheena's.. hhaha, stupid bitch, no matter wat she does she looks goood~ grrrrr~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:57 AM| 0 Butterflies
i love dis pic... me and felicia wit tha butterfly background...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:56 AM| 0 Butterflies
faisal bullying me! hahhah...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:55 AM| 0 Butterflies
me and tha bob's.... love tha background... hahah... imma miss em... man, me, hafiz and faisal...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:54 AM| 0 Butterflies
faisal trynna banghra.. hahha.. dats syidi, bubu, man, me and faisal on tha floor...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:53 AM| 0 Butterflies
me and man wit a butterfly! hahahah... his idea to take it wit tha butterfly... hahahha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:52 AM| 0 Butterflies
man and meh wit cikgu aminah... malay... thank gawd fta dis i never hafta do it again...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:51 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 29, 2004
graduation
as we go on, we remember, all tha times had togetha,
and as our lives changed,from watever,
we will still be...
friends forever...
graduation..
tha last day of skool...
cleaned up tha art room in tha morning..
so many roaches! we were all screaming...
afta dat, we had break.. started takin pictures...
i'll post em here later...
imma miss so many things,
so many people..
sulaiman, ma whole 5 years in bds were wit u...
wat a i gonna do without u boy? imma be so lost,
rosy, tha last 2 years of bein ur fren have been great,
u were always ther for me to share all ma good times and bad times
always ther to lend a listening ear...
faisal... u smart alec... imma miss always arguing wit u
imma miss u bullying me..
.imma miss mr muru makin fun of me for reading archie comics...
imma miss maths class wit miss hana..
imma miss sleepin during accounts or listening to mr ong...
imma miss mr ong trynna restore some faith for accounts..
.imma miss mrs jonoh and all her scoldings and gossip, bein gila, singing songs, makin me smile..
i think imma miss ma abraham... her stupid sermon's almost evryday...
imma miss mr tay and him makin us sing i believe i can fly...
but mostly imma miss u guys...
tha times in skool, how we would all end up talkin bout tha future...
talkin crap, watever was botherin us...
miss goin to man's table and sayin, "yunnoe WAT?!?!?"
imma miss fadli and his sudden crappy outburts...
imma miss hafiz and his horny shit..
imma miss goin home wit man,
him waiting wit me til ma bus came.
.imma miss how close simpang was,
walkin ther...
imma miss playin capteh altho we only played today...
imma miss practicals..
imma miss makin fun of people...
imma miss tha spagetti and tha lime juice...
imma miss lining up for recess...
i was so shocked when faisal cried juz now....
oh gawd.. it hit me, ma sec skool life is over..
.bds is no longer ma skool...
juz ma exam centre...
i was so excited for this day to come...
im not totally free yet... almost...
imma miss goin to tha toilet...
imma miss pe and mass run?
how did it end so fast? even wit an extra year...
it ended....imma miss singing wit u in class man...
we will meet up again...
it wont be tha same... it never will be...
ma future is gonna be decided in tha next few days...
on wat i write on pieces of paper...
i juz want u guys to noe, memories still held deep within me...
stories of how sulaiman locked me in tha electrical riser..
or how we would be talkin in class and he'd get all tha scolding...
oh gawd....... tha life i have been living tha past 5 years are over...
time to change and move on huh?
dats tha way life goes...
thanks u guys for makin ma sec skool life amazing..
all tha best for o's.. i believe in ya~ u can and will do it...
much love y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:44 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
missing people
i miss many people.
i miss nufail. please get well soon.
i miss issa... when is ma brain freeze comin? heheheh..
i miss yamakasi. afta o's. dats a promise.
i miss adam. u always made me smile. :)
i miss ur merepek-ness mai. i do.
i miss mummy and francy. i miss mummy tha most. i wish u were here. i wish u could join our late nytes. i miss u gila2... i miss tha way u always had so much faith in me and always made me feel so much better. i miss how u always made me feel so special. u always gave me confidence. ma angel is missing. i wish u were here to complete tha picture.
i miss sulaiman, i keep sayin im goin to skool but cuz im up til late i cant wake up. im sorry love. i miss faisal too... as crappy as u are, as much as we have a love-hate relationship ur one heck of a mature 16 yr old and i always value ur opinions, ur a smart boy.
i miss simpang and ma teh o peng.
i miss tha playground.
ma mom was cool bout us havin a chalet. she said we can have it when ma dad goes shanghai. 16th december. but nufail, adam and mai will be in skool. rover will prolly still be in camp. i so want it to happen, but tha odds are against us. a chalet wit me, yana and kakak would be cool but we're wit each otha each nyte. u guys would so complete it. it would be grec. haiz~ oh well...
a hurdle i hafta pass thru ferst. i can do it?
i miss y'all many many...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:07 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 24, 2004
lorong melayu
i walked thru tha white fence, tha fountain, once so lively, full of fishies, tha water running down, sounds so lovely, so peaceful, now a cemented grave, covered up, i walked on top of tha fountain, lookin at tha rocks and tha potted plants covering tha fountain.. than i realised tha place seemed so bare... it was so hot all of a sudden, i looked up at our beloved mango tree... tha one ma mom used to climb to wrap tha mango's to save them from those durn bats, but ther was nuthin ther, inplace of our huge shelter of a mango tree was juz some pebbles on tha floor, covering up tha moss... i stood under our attap pondok... tha wind chimes ma mother so meticulously straightened out when they were tagled was now gone, tha only thing left of it was its circular base and tha string, tha wind enveloped me and i gazed sadly at tha wind chimes which usually would tinkle ever so softly... tha hari raya lights ma grandfather put up to add colour to tha pondok was hanging from tha wooden supports... lifeless... tha attap used fer tha 'roof' of tha pondok was also half gone... i sat on tha steps to enter... millions of memories came rushing back, those basketball matches, tha drinks i'd hafta bring out for everyone cuz everone one else was too busy playin ball... how i sed to feed tha fishes... tha lil parties we used to have, tha big screen.. watching movies or juz playin music damn loudly and dancing around... ma room.. nufail and mai cmin over and ransacking ma cupboard, all of us tryin on clothes.. ma window, sitting outide, lookin at tha sky.. goin into sheena's room at nyte to use tha com or talk to her, watch tv... juz chill... from those steps i looked in.. i saw tha speakers... tha dinig area, our diningtable, tha kitchen... i remembered how we used to cook watever we wanted, pasta, id bake brownies or wake up in tha morning tha morning to make pancakes.. how if we had no space on tha couch we'd grab our pillows from upstairs and lie on tha carpet... or how we'd all watch a movie togetha, mama and papa and han crashing on one couch and me and sheena on tha other wit a blankie... how sometimes when it rained, ma dad will tell us to go play in tha rain and we'd run out sqealing den he'd take tha hose and spray us.. and we'd all get wet and we'd hafta go in by tha back cuz we were all soaking wet... can i have it all back please. i want ma home, i wanna be irrated by tha chicken on tha jackfruit tree, cock-a-doodle-dooing away at 4 am pissing tha hell outta me, i wanna go back to grabbing smtin to throw at them and missing dem, i wanna hafta run up and down juzto get smthin.. i want to be able to ask anybody come over and chill... i want it all back.
i want ma home.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:57 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 22, 2004
threading
i went threading today..uber painful but i have nice eyebrows now.. i never knew i even had eyebrows.. hahah... so cool.com, nufail, b4 raye we go okek! its kinda painful ya lha, no doubt.. not dat bad...
one werd to descibe ma life and wat im feelin now.
FUCK
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:40 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, October 21, 2004
you persecuted me...
Dear Mr man,
Why do u see me in that light?
Because of the solitude i'm facing?
My sparkle died when he let go of my hand
Dear Mr man,
Why do u say my smile is beautiful?
Because within it is a massive frown
And i have to conceal it from the people i love
Dear Mr man,
Why do you say i'm cherubic?
Because all you see is laughter, and happiness
Not the agonising journey of torment i'm going thru
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you see me as whole?
Because a slice of me has been eaten raw
The dagger used was not sharp enough and it hurt even more
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you say i'm exquisite
Because a robber stole the key
Stabbed my heart and twisted the knife while at it
Dear Mr Man,
Why do you say i'm happiness
because i laid my heart on a silver platter
And i got it back, chopped to a million pieces
Dear Mr Man,
What you see is not what it seems
The chapter is closed, and was good while it lasted
Allow me to find my vivacity...
thank you sheena fer tha poem
fer helpin me xpress wat i wanted to say in werds.....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:50 PM| 0 Butterflies
wat tha fuck
oh well... so much fer havin fun today...
i mean i did have fun....
juz wasn't tha same without rover and kittieeee...
rover's eyes are soooo much better....
kittiee... pass ur pox to aaron... hahaha
den he can miss camp summore....
we were talkin bout tha yamakasi chalet...
but like wat adam said.. i dunt think it will happen...
kittiee prolly cant stay over, rover will prolly still be in camp..
i hafta study now.. go tuition everyday...
they keep sayin i cant make it..
but thank gawd fer mr goh.. he's payin more attention to me now...
and i can actually understand him...
its gettin better..
i hafta fuckhin do it man..
pass mah maths...
wat a fucked up subject...
bout 2 more weeks...
ma motvation is showing mr tan and meh dad i can do it...
and thinkin of tha grec times i will have afta it...
tha o's will pass...
i cant fuckhin wait...
i so want tha yamaksai chalet....
all tha grec-ness..
dang it lah...
for once cant we all have time fer yamakasi...
all togetha..
chillin.. grecing...
doin yamakasi shyte togetha...
juz grecing lah...
when we all go home..
its so sad...
i juz wanna chill longer...
i really love ma family...
i love ma yamaksaians...
i love sulaiman... on monday nyte, i dunnoe why,
but i juz missed him a whole lot all of a sudden..
its juz so fated dat we're beside each otha during practical ey? haha
borrow calculator...
borrow liquid paper...
hahahah...
i love rosy and faisal too...
dat day when i brought meh mp3 playa to skool..
we were juz chillin, doin maths to grec songs...
he's juz so fulla crap...
he's so gonna do well fer his o levels.. freakin smart sia he..
rosy also.. everytime i see her, she's doin her maths...
man... u and meh, we gonna do it..
go tp togetha...
i dunt care..
imma drag u along wit meh bodoh! heeeeh~
imma miss yamakasi...
they make me so.. happy...
i want all 7 of us...
i juz realised.... all tha animals are always missing...
giringo... kittieee.. rover.. wtf is up wit dat uh? hahahah
kittieee... get well soon okek.. ur gonna be fine.. dunt scratch urself..
i noe cats tend to do dat,,, hahahha.. soryr love...
rover... get ready to get anotha bout of chicken pox.. we're not lettin u go back to camp! hahah.. den u can fly away wit mehh...*wheeeeeee*
so depressing... so sad... i hate this...
get ursellf togetha bodoh....
take a knife and stab me please....
or lemme juz fly away...
far far far away...
to heaven maybe?
hahha...
and im so proud of mehself fer fasting today...
i can do this...
i got so much people in me who believe in me..
i hope it shall not be futile...
i juz dunt think i can do it...
seriously.....................................
myte as well enroll in ite now kan?
macpherson? at least got shaikh.. HAH!
fuck dis shiit.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:37 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
new skin?
i dunnoe if this wll come out as meh new skin.. hope it does! thanks nufail babyyyyyyyyy! i dunnoe wat id do without ya! hahah..
ma practical today was crap.. i forgot ma entry proof... had no calculator( thanks fadli fer urs! thank gawd u brought extra! love yaaa!!! heheh) i managed to photocopy ma entry proof tha original one wit skool.. so lucky.. i broke a measuring cylinder... haiz.. wth was i doin...
went fer tuition juz now.. i wanna do ma maths.. wanna prove to mr tan and mr goh i can do it! i hafta...
had fun at simpang juz now tho mai and nufail were missing.. :( haiz... and adam.. i better get a rich husband uh! hahha
i cant really blog cuz im excited to see ma new skin... hope it comes out ryte...
niwae.. aaron, ur eyes lookin better, as much as tha poking and digging hurts, its fer tha better... ur gonna be back to normal in no time...
i realy hope dis wednesday happens, really really really a WHOLEEE lot hopin its gonna happen...
now imma wait fer nufail's signal so i change publish dis and check out meh new skin...
like dat also excited uh.. hahah.. lame sabreena.. oh well.. wats new.. im ha idiot who didnt even noe she lost her wallet.. hahah
much love y'all.... thank so much fer everythin u've done fer me...
and thanks aunty and sheena fer hlpin meh put tha songs in ah mp3 player, and fer tha butterfly bracelet... thank u for everythin... you all dunnow how grateful i am fer havin such beautiful people i ma life... thank god for y'all...
ps.. mai and adam, happy 1 month. and one day, ima abit late... hahha oops.. hahahha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:27 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 18, 2004
100th post
dis is meh 100th post! *wheeeeeeet* eee! imma blogger freak! hahha...
niwae... new pics! wheeee~ me in tha skirt dee bought fer meh on ma bdae.. which is ta same as shaira's.. sorry gurl.. i didnt realise... hahah...
yesterday ma dad woke me up sceaming at me bout me losing ma wallet and screaming y i didnt tell him.. was it cuz i was scared.. i was like WTF? i didnt lose ma wallet, its in ma bag and he said some seargent tan called and asked me to collect it... hah.. i went to tha back to check ma bag and lo and behold.. i LOST ma wallet without me even knowing it... so ma dad drove me to marine parade npp only for it to be closed, so i called seargent tan and he told me its marine parade NPC not npp... wat a doinkz.. so we went ther and i collected ma wallet feelin like sucha idoit.. i didnt even noe i lost ma wallet... tha list of thinggs in ma wallet was hysterical.. 2 miniature perfume bottles.. pictures... one zion cybercafe card which isnt even mine... all ma doctor appointment cards... aiyoh.. lookin thru it i was so pai seh... hahah.. and i got aLL ma money back.. so thank u mohammad imran bin smthin smthin... for returning ma wallet in good condition without takin ma money... must have been bcuz it was ta ferst day of ramadan and all... and u were sucha truthful person.. hahah... thank gawd pple like u still exist... hahah...
ma mom and ma aunty got me a creative mp3 player! wooohoooo! thank you guys SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much!!!! seriouslly.. its got512 mb... can hold bout 120 songs... ryte now.. i cant transfer ma songs from ares into tha creative thingy so i cant put songs in but i WANT!!!! ughhh.... i can bring tmrw cuz got practical and im 2nd shift and imma be locked up afta dat... aiyoh... niwae... i hope like hell sheen can help me! kak sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeen! help me tau! yunnow i love u many many.. heeeeeeeeh~ :P
okek.. all tha best to mehhh fer ma practical tmrw.. and to yana and all those pple who are takin it tmrw also.. u CAN do it! hahah
niwae we were thinkin of tha yamakasi chalet... i sooo wanna... mamom seems cool bout it uh.. so *crosses fingers* all tha plans afta tha o's and puasa, ferstly tha most impt thing is ma maths! i hope i can do it man.. im so hopeless... haiz...
sheena was thinkin of makin a journal kinda thing bout us all... seems much fun... its a werkin progress... fer simpang outings and yamakasi... shall start on it soon... we got pics dats y its so fun... hahah
and hanboy like rock the casbah by solar twins... hahah.. happening lah dat song... thanks adamsies... and aaron.. tha twisters silence song.. listen to me mama is grec lah.. hahah.. ouh yaaar aaron, all tha best fer ya eye speacialist check up tmrw... take care tau~ ur eyes are freaky... im sorry but maybe cuz u have green eyes dats y it looks freakier den ours ey.. you'll get well soon! no worries! u can do it! ahahah
and we all hafta puasa! hahah yay! ma dad got dis email thingy... one day of fasting brings u 70 years furthur away from hell or smthin like dat... when u fast cuz u wanna please HIM.. he shall reward u... wow! makes me more motivated to fast now.. hahah...
much love y'all~ to ma yamakasi people... love ya loads..
to aunty and tha rest of family.. love ya loads...
to tha bob's in meh class... love ya loads... sulaiman.. i juz hopin ur okay.. so worried bout u tau~ haiz... i feel like a horrible best fren... :(
lets hope to see some miracles happening soon ey?
ouhhh and today i iman's bdae... i sms-ed him but i think he's not usin that number nimore... so happy 17th birhday.. as if you'll ever see dis... hahah...
<3>
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:17 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 17, 2004
aaron's sore sore eyes... dis is wat we passed to him.. plus a lil of gawd noes wat cream he put into his eye... so exorsist-ish.. take care lah u silly boy!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:28 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 16, 2004
tha 3 of us chillin on aunty's car.. hyundai getz... hehe... she juz got tha p plate as u can see... mang i love tha skirt! wheeeee~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:40 PM| 0 Butterflies
me and ma lovely aunty(wit sore eyes at dat time.. heheh.. contaigious) chillin at starbucks at siglap...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:39 PM| 0 Butterflies
i was bugging sheena to take a nice of pic of meh in tha skirt.. for your info.. dis is tha skirt dee bought fer meh fer meh birthday! thanks soooooooo much dee! *smiles*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:37 PM| 0 Butterflies
puase today...
hopefully dis wont come out cacat...
PUASA STARTS TODAY! so fast... geez, o levels soon... imma die.. mathssss... i shall live,eat, breathe it... roight... hahah
i went for spore idol yesterday... so good to be back in that atmosphere... fer tha last time... puasa now... haiz~ ma dad wont let us go.. niwae, i used tha skirt which dee bought fer meh fer mah bdae, happens to be tha same as shaira, yana's fren, nut i didnt noe... but i look good, so who cares, hahah... fique and olinda did tha best, sly was horrible... so was jerry... hahah... i didnt think daphne was dat bad uh.. maia like free show... we were sayin ken must've seen her undies, dats y he was not so mean to her... heeeeh~ i didnt get to see fique afta tho.. freakin sad.. haiz... :(
i went back to skool today and ma frens were like, eyyy, sabbb, welcome back! hhaha, den dis guy alex gave ma a halls sweet, i wa slike, yay, sweet and i popped it in ma mouth, grinning at man and rosy and faisal... they looked at me one kinda den they man was like, ey sab, u never puasa uh? i was liike.. oh shyteeeeeeeee! and i spat it out.. sucha dumbass... hahhaha.. oh well.. still counted okay! it was unintetional... ahahah.. ros saw me and tha ferst thing she said was, sab, u lost weight.. hahah... cmon, its only 1 kg.. is it dat obvious? hmmm... i wanna lose 2 more kg... ma ideal weight den... hahaha...
niwae, nufail! black pepper beef crispy noodles soon ey? get yamakasi along uh... *wheeeeeeeeeeeet* heheheheh.. we were discussing how weird enuff, if u realise, food and drinks brings pple closer togetha uh kittieeee?.. to kittie, food and drinks brOngs pple closer togetha, wakakakak. im sorry, it juz sounds damn weird, i noe its a typo love.. but still.. wahhahaha... ey, wait afta puasa we makan at samar, den can sheesha.. that place damn nice tau! farah's bf, ahamd werks ther... get discount.. wheeeeeeeeee~
i forgot wat else i wanna talk bout... cuz of some pple screaming at me.. nenek gonna masak mee soup... wheeet.. cant wait, hafta go fer useless tuition later... yalkz... id rather have faisal or syah teaching meh.. haiz... wat tha hell.. laters y'all~ i hope we get tp buke togtha one day yeaw~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:00 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, October 14, 2004
simpang yamakais! *wheeeeeeeet* finally all 7 of us togetha.... from left mister music(adam), tango(sarah), spider(nufail), sitting bull(me) baseball(sheena,in tha cap) weasel(yana) and rocket(aaron)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:13 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
when she loved me
i got lots to write bout.. no mood to, prolly will... i juz feel so fucted now... dunnow why, this feelin of despair... im clawing ma way out.. nobody seems to be able to see ma grasp is geetin looser and looser...
adamsies.. they'll be safe... i'll try ma best to do wat i can.. it shall be allryte, u have sarah and u have us...
nufail, ma star... shine brightly.. dont think too much bout that feelin... im kinda feelin like dat too... but alls good for now.. we'll face it togetha when it comes okays? <3>
sarah... <3..>
yana, please keep remnding me never to meet HIM again! gawd! i wanted to kill maself.. so farking irritating and gay CAN? GAWD! geez... hang out soon? yeah, ryte..gawd, wat was i thinkin tha ferst time i met him? madness!!!! i have learnt smthin... some kinda cute guys= irritating like HELL!!!!
im so damn gullible can? aiyoh... aaron's camp has an extension? ma ass lah... hahha... sucha dumbass...
aaron... u fren me tak? i still u <3>
fark dis feeling.. it wont go away... cant take dis shiet no more... cant cant cnat cant cant cant cant cant cant....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:16 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 11, 2004
cut me some slack
Dear God,
Please cut me some slack, gimme a break, cant i bloody be happy? wth... like really happy, feel complete kinda happy, dat kinda happy, can? can? CAN??? geeeeeez~
nuff wit dat shit... nufail! u got a digicam! *wheeeeeeT* cam whore!!! woohooo... had fun today, thanks babes.. yamakasi! whoohooo! hahah.. sarah, hope u had fun shopping for ya camp yeaw? *winks*
issa~ get well soon... and don think nobody cares, we all do! and you are SO NOT fat can? hhahah... madness lah u boy! i want ma frozen youghurt brain freeze thang okays? *tapping foot, waiting* heeeeeh...
Happy birthday papa and nenek... we went to swensens juz now.. had steak.. yalks.. chewy, not nice... saw kakak min! afta sooooooooooo long! hahah, when i saw her in tha car i ran like a crazed fool and hugged her... i think i shocked her... hahah.. den tha guy gave balloon, i was like, i want green and sheehan took it.. nevermind, so i said i wanted orange and ma cousin hamkah took it, so in tha end i took pink.. pastel pink... of all damn colours.. hahhah.. hope ya enjoyed tha day... i was left contemplating many things...
Syah.. i heard wat happened... if ya need someone to talk to... u can give ma a call okays? imm always be herre, like a leech... <3
i think our eyes are gettin better but when ma aunty and grand aunt and mabel all see they were lookin at me as if i had a third eye or smthin.. gawd, i dunt think its dat bad can?
im waiting for tha day... God.. watcha doin up ther mang?
Everybody's looking for that something
One thing that makes it all complete
You'll find it in the strangest places
Places you never knew it could be
Some find it in the face of their children
Some find it in their lover's eyes
Who can deny the joy it brings
When you've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
Some find it each and every morning
Some in their solitary lives
You'll find it in the words of other
sA simple line can make you laugh or cry
You'll find it in the deepest friendship
The kind you cherish all your life
And when you know how much that means
You've found that special thing
You're flying without wings
So, impossible as it may seem
You've got to fight for every dream
Cos who's to know
which one you let go
Would have made you complete
Well, for me it's waking up beside you
To watch the sunrise on your face
To know that I can say I love you
In any given time or place
It's little things that only I know
Those are the things that make you mine
And it's like flying without wings
Cos you're my special thing
I'm flying without wings
And you're the place my life begins
And you'll be where it ends
I'm flying without wings
And that's the joy you bring
I'm flying without wings
i love this song, yeah so wat if its by westlife, i still love it... :)
keep smiling sabreena, maybe it'll look up soon yeaw~
HAH!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:24 PM| 0 Butterflies
secret
i juz love maroon 5 can? heeeeeh..
secret
Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road
Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don't ever let go Oh No
I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret
But can they keep it
Oh No they can't
Driving fast now
Don't think I know how to go slow
Where you at now
I feel around
There you are
Cool these engines
Calm these jets
I ask you how hot can it get
And as you wipe of beads of sweat
Slowly you say "I'm not there yet!"
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:04 AM| 0 Butterflies
yana has scaweeeee eyes! wheeeeet.. check out tha cloitz tho~ wooohoooo! i loike! hehe, dats tha rawk star ther bside her.. her rawk star*ahem*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:12 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, October 10, 2004
heeeeeeeeh~
sarah's bdae was uber fun.. hiding behind tha truck, suprising her.. haha. if ma blog comes out bad im sorry, its kinda blur now, ma eyes i mean.. i watched yamkasi at nyte wit yana~ HAPPENING!!! hahah
adam i think ur more sitting bull den me CAN??? sarah! quick! agree wit me! hahah.. he like sit down, chill... im get too sexited to be sitting bull lah, i dunt hafta be music, but im soooooo not sitting bull... hahha... sheena's like tha hott one, baseball.. wth... okay so like adam is music, sarah is tango. aaron is rocket, sheena is baseball. nufail is spider, yana is weasel and im sitting bull? hmmm.. me and yana need some changing.. hahh...
i had fun playin pool today... and simpang.. tho aaron was like so mean today, wat ninja turtle shit! grrrrrrrrrr! hahah.. and i had fun watchin adam dance to smoke machine... hahhh... sheena gettin on an air con+eye drop+ she beat aaron 2x high... hahah squashing wit sarah on tha sofa chair thingy... and nufail... heeeeh.. meetin ur sis and sha'ista.. was fun fun fun...
white chicks is FUCKING FUNNY! i recommend to evryone who wants a good laugh! i wanna watc again! nufail, monday sua? hahahah much love y'all.. had much fun today.. thanksies... *smiles*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:59 PM| 0 Butterflies
aaron and adam... action garang.. hurhurhur....
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:07 PM| 0 Butterflies
aunty oon.. dee and anuty aisyah and mehhh!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:05 PM| 0 Butterflies
lovely couple.... awwwwwwwww
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:04 PM| 0 Butterflies
ma bdae wit ma GURLFRENSSS!!!! love y'all! <3 i look good even wit sore eyes.. wheeeeet~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:02 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 09, 2004
happy bdae mai
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARAH!!!
finally 17 ey babes, now for tha next month we can rub in nufail's face dat we are OFFICALLY 17.. heeeeh~ so evil.. enjoy ur day today love... too bad i cant be ther to celebrate ur burfay wit u today babes... u'll have fun wit adam niwae...heheh... i'll be passing u ur letter soon yeah? when i see ya next.. much love babes... *smiles*
PSSSST....
dig ma eyes out can? ain... im in agony... kena halau from skool... all tha teachers all like. go away. all ma frens all say. go home please! haiz... im not wanted or loved nimore.. niwae, rosy, khai, olin and dq got me a sweet bdae pressie, dis siler butterfl bracelet.. can use it fer raye... thanks u guys... when i came back to class. i didnt even noe who tha hell was hugging me.. hahah... it was torture uh, seriously... but it was good to be abck, even for a while... much love to y'all//
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SARAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~
much love always, BFF.. heeeeh, dats so sweet valley... hurhurhur <3
nufail, i'll buy ma own ciggie case wokays! grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! u ma bff also tau~ :P
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:49 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 08, 2004
much love from sheena cuz i was feellin crappy cuz of ma sore eyes... love her mang! heheh
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:36 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
fuck
i can't take it anymore!
DIG MA EYES OUT! SOMEBODY PLEASE!
feelin fucted... cannt help it... ma eyes are makin me so down.. brings ma depression out...
*DIES*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:13 PM| 0 Butterflies
post bdae
POST BIRTHDAY BASH~
i went to tha doc again on monday.. yesterday... wit sheena... ma eyes still so bad... sheena's even werse, yana also but she dunt wanna take mc... doc gave us 3 more days.. so im on mc til wednesday... i was reallly excited for lunch, supposed to meet sulaiman.. i condt wait... i miss him so farkin much can? so i called him during malay, wrong timing, sorry... hahah... he wanted to go home and change ferst... so i met hi at bedok mrt at 4... gave him aBIG hug.. miss him so dman much! hahah so we went up and i saw some guy waving2.. i was like, wth, upon closer inspection (much squinting) i relised it was faisal! hahah.. he actuall came down1 i was so touched knwing dat he is im too busy for anythin cuz i wanna study... but dats a good thing, dats y ur so smart u nerdy brainiac.. hahah.. so they gave me ma pressies, faisal gave me dis mogu-ishthingy, duck lookin piyo-piyo thing,,, i named it duckie! heheh... and man gave me tha sweetest card and this care bears thingy.. so damn cute can... he's tha night-time bear and im tha wish bear, so wish upon me, i try to make people's wishes come true, except ma own ones... and they were like, sab... wher u wanna cut ur cake... they bought me a freakin cake can? so we went to tha esplanade to cut it... faisal recorded it.. den we headed down to fish & co. for lunch.. thanks so farkin much u guys, it was a wonderful day for me, i loved it to death... man i could nothave asked for a better buncha frens and sucha amazing family... pre bdae thingy in kl... bdae suprise at simpang and pos bdae bash at tha esplanade, all wit tha people i love tha most... so so amazing.. thank you god. i am so grateful. thank you.
ma eyes are so freakin dry now... ma head hurts.. so much... ma eyes are blurry..
went to tha hospital juz now...tha doctor poked and prodded ma eyes.. PAIN CAN?!?!?!? so evil... check up next week... ma head is spinning...
i keep seeing tha spore idol adverts... make me think of fique and mondayyyy.. i missed tha chance man! grrr! oh, well... hopefully, dis thursday can go uh... thursday goin back to skool... yay~
ma o levels is comin soon... imma die... DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!! i can do it, oh gawd gimme tha strength.
i had fun at simpang today. *smiles* some people were missing tho. yamasaki! and why tha hell am i tha bull/fierce or watever one.. i am so not fierce can? im like tha least fiercest person among all of us.. wat tha hell... u all get such cool cool ones...and wat do i get? some bull one.. at least they thought of me ryte? whahaha...
life shits u around sometmes ey, more like a lot of times, i'll never understand mine, how u can love someone so much and yet be so bitter.. but not bitter at tha thought.. i dunt understand maself.. ma eyes hurt a lot now.. a whole freakin lot... haiz... til later or next time... peace..
Love ya sulaiman, thanks so much for evrything u have done fer meh... thank you and bob 1, aunty oon, aunty aisyah, dee.. mama, papa, rosy, tha yamsaki/simpang clan.. hahah...
ma eyes hurt so bad... and cuz of it ma head hurts... arghhhhhhhhh, fucking sore eyes. shiibai! oh ya, doc said we all have infection, dats y its so bad... yana got internal bleeding also... por babies... wahhaha... da lah... i wanna... dig ma eyes out and let it soak in eye drops or watever... *screams loudly and faints*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:18 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, October 04, 2004
happy birthday to meeeeeeee
Happy birthday to meeeeeee
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeee
Happy birthday to (insert watever nickname u wannna herre)
Happy birthday to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE~
finally 17! sarah u have more days, not a long wait lah,
nufail, another month! no worries, ma papers will be over by den, except for sci paper 1, so we can farkin P-A-R-T-Y, okays? whahah
dis is gonna be a LONG entry, so people, bear wit me. or u culd juz give up now, hahah...
kl was fun fun fun... i love tha stuff i bought! ma belt is uber coolness.com... i love ma belt, for RM$160, how could i not farkin love it? hahah... i was like kinda cryin on saturday nyte cuz i still had sore eyes and it spread to ma otha eye.. meanin ma bdae would be spent wit sore eyes... kinda lame i noe, but bein tha emo idiot dat i am... haiyoh.. hahah.. thanks mom and dad for makin us go.. thanks yana and kakak and aunty for comin and makin tha trip so dam enjoyable.. *grins widely* wher would i be without u guys? haiz...
on tha way up i saw a car, its lisence plate was MARI. dats all. no numbers, no otha letters, juz capital, MARI. i was laughing alone.. haha im weird... i thought of noraa, cuz of his MARI thing... i THINK u shld noe wat im talkin bout ryte? hahah.. if u dunt den nxt time i shall explain to ya or smthin...
we were havin 'roti cannai' aka roti prata at malaysiaon friday nyte, ther was dis family behind us, indian family (from bombay according to yana, hahahaha!) i was takin pic of yana's eye... den dis guy behind(was facing me) started laughing.. i started laughing.. i was like, ey yana, see, even dat guy laughing at u, cuz he laughed when i was showing yana tha pic of her eye... den he looked at me and was like, sorry! i was like, no, its okay, hos brother all turn, den yana also turn ard look at him wit her scaweee eyes. i think dats y he apologized, so we were eating happy2 den his bro came back to tha table, den he asked me wat happened to ma eye.. i kept repeating maself sore eyes but he coundt hear so i diverted ma attention back to ma yummy tandoori chicked waiting fer me on ma table, wahhah...
~MY BIRTHDAY~
so i thought it was juz gonna be ma aunty, dee, sheena, yana, nunu and noraa at simpang celebrating ma bdae wit me, once we gt home, yana had to get some stooopid shit from her fren and sheena had to go farah's house to hand up some crappy project shit... i was at home, on ma birthday, doin nuthin... i called nunu and i met her, of course in true nunu style, i had to wait for her even tho i took a bus.. ahaha... got a GOOOOOD hug from her, man i missed her like hell!!! hahah.. so we sat down and she asked penguin to join table, clue no.1.. duh nufail! hahah so den she kept gettin phone calls and she juz went yesh yesh, okay okay kinda thing, clue no.2!! haha den, she asked me to change place, and coundt give a good reason... clue no.3.. hahah i love u babes! hahah no worries... den all of a sudden, i heard HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, bein sang REALLLLL loudly, i turned, and ma aunty was holdin ma cake wit ma 17 candles... and i saw, everybody! aunty oon, dee, aunty aisyah, sheena, yana, sarah, adam and noraa, if i could cry i would have... it was amazing! i thought i coundt beat last yr's bdae, but they overdid themselves this yr! seriously... hahah
nunu, its too bad u had to go off early. u missed tha fun... :( thank u for comin and takin part in ma suprise bdae thingy,,, thank u soooo much baby~ *smiles* urs is gonna be funner! hehe...and i hope u like tha prressies yeaw! love ya many many <3
sarah and adam, thank u for coming down and for tha flower, its socute.com and for tha letters... without fail ey sarah? u'll be gettin urs in 4 days... :) thank u guys... its nice to see u 2... hahah... so happy togetherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... madness... much love... <3
sheena and yana. tha masterminds together wit aunty, thank u so farkin much... u guys noe i really needed a cheer, and a huge one u gave to me... thank u for always bein ther for me when i needed ya, i could not have asked for a grec-er family den u guys, thank u for everythin u have done for me, thank u.
Thanks aunty aisyah for comin down, i noe ur tired, esp juz afta ur flight form amstedam... ryte? hahah and dee, thanks for comin! thank u guys smuch, u people give me all tha suppost i need and could ever want...
noraa, i hope u enjoy tha gifts..hard for tha three of us to come to a decision but we did! so yay~ hahah, its like a goin off to camp and we cant chill wit u as much kinda gift... damn ur camp! u ppromised saturday, pool... haha double promise, u guys can come along, afta ur exams ryte? i noe u guys can and will do it fe rur exams, yes adam evn for ur one paper, u gonna do well. or i'll shave ur legs! hhaha.. i'll juz get sarah to do tha dirty werk... readin ur blogs, i dunt think mai is goin indon kan? im not gonnna let it happen, thank gawd ur small, we can stuff u in some bag and ship u off to adam's house til tha coast is clear! nunu, any otha plans? plan kidanp conspiracy sarah is in tha making... hahah, nobody is takin sarah away, not NOW! not EVER! *roar* to whoever tries! wheeeeeeee~
sulaiman, u were missin sweetie, i wished u were ther... it would have been complete... its okay, tmrw u and me shall have one by ourselves okays? i miss u sooooooooooo much can? i hate this sore eyes! cant wait for lunch... til tmrw... :) thank u for ebin ther for me since sec 1... thank u cuz no matter wat i knew i had ur support and ur love from tha start, u wont be leavin me anytime soon! i woundt have it!
sukhi, thanks fer callin and listenin to me jab away, i miss u soooo much also! :( soon okays? i shall see u soon! and i hope i'll have a presie for ya on ya bdae, i havent forgotten~
saving tha best for last... i thought it would be ber cool if fique could come for ma bdae.. so yesterday, i had a phonecall. i almost didnt get to pick up tha phone cuz i was so shocked. it was FIQUE. i saw his smiling face on ma phone and i was like, WAHHHT? hahah i was like SHHHHHH at evryone at tha table, okay, more like, OI! SHH! ITS FIQUE!!!!!!! hahah how not to be sexited adam? hahah... he was like, sabreeeena, i was likem yeah, he asked me if i were free tmrw, i blurted out, i have sore eyes dissapointingly! and he was oh.. ur sick? he wanted me to come down for a trailer recording, they wanted 5 friends, and he fucking asked me CAN? i mean as much as i go fique fique fique, we not tight i was soooooo shocked he asked me... i was tellin him i juz came back from kl, he asked for wat. den i said shopping and to celebrate ma bdae and he was like, oh, when's ur bdae? i was like, today. den he sang for me! and me in ma sexitedness was like, no, sing again so i can record.. and he laughed and was like, i'll sing when i see u okays? u take care, and all dt shyte... 4pm today... maybe some otha pple coundt make it dats y he asked me, at lest he asked kan? hahah...kicking maself over that lost oppturnity... haiz! farkin sore eyesssssssssss~ wish i could have done tha trailer... 4pm... i shall be wonderin til than... *RARGHHHHHHHHHHHH* so uber frustrating!
much love to ya'll who made ma day complete... thank u for ur sms-es pple, thank u for eveythin uve done for me, wat hasnt killed me has only made me stronger... 17 yrs and im strong! *wheeeeet* chey deba sab, big fuck uh... hahahah love y'all.. thanks so fucking much. if i counted ma blessings, tha list would be... too long.. and i also wanna thank syaheed and shaikh... thx fer comin down shaikh, i noe u didnt slp 4 2 days and juz finished werk and syaheed, thanks fer tha sms-es and all ur concern always... thank u for always bein ther when i needed somebody to talk to or juz plain directions... thank u syah!
i love y'all much much muchhhhhhhhhh can? *smiles* thank u for one of tha most amazingest day of ma life...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:59 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, October 02, 2004
kl
aiyoh... aaron, noraa... ive been spelling it wrong! wahahha, sorry! hahah and u finally accepted ma damn testimonial! u arse! and i still have tha white leaves u gave me on monday.. imma keep it.. white leaves, woohoo! hahah nufail! keeps urs also! hahahah... and imma miss ya LOADS man! stupid army! how can they do dat to you? we're only gonna see u on weekends? 8 weeeks? haiz! nvm, by tha time ur thingy is over, ma o levels will be over so me and rocker/exorsist gurl can chill wit ya anytime! hahah and if im werkin i can buy u a pack! hahah if im werkin lah k? haha if not we stick to drinks! u too nufail love! hahahah... drinks and packs and good company... *woohooo* adam and mai can buy fer urself uh? hahah.. sheena and yana i loveeeeeeeee you! lets go mad okays? freakin sore eyes!
went simpang yesterday wit yana, sheena and aunty... haha noraa came later.. MUCH later! had fun at simapng, dat faizal guy came and talk2 to us, den we went to see his huskies! tha puppies are tha freakin cutest thingies ever CAN? $1800 for a husky... whoa! nufail.. miss ya! :(
much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much much LOVE to all tha people i love. u noe who ur~
p.s: to all you lil kiddies out ther, kids at heart lah k... HAPPY CHILDREN'S DAY!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:16 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, October 01, 2004
open
its all good. one day i shall be happy. truly happy. i am happy now. *SMILES* after a breath of 'fresh' air and some thinkin, im so sorry if i stood in your way of happiness. simpang soon? ma heart is no longer wounded. rising from tha depths of tha ocean. i stand before it. wind blowing in my hair, i stare at tha grandness of it all, tha beauty, tha water holding me back before now has given me a new lease on life, tha darkness has faded. they truly make each other happy. im happy for them. i am loved. yana is mad. tha freaky eyes is makin her even more retarded. lalalalalalalala...
i wanna go singapore idol! damn sore eyes! fique~ u go kick some bootey! we'll be screaming for ya back home at chai chee, im sure u'll be able to hear us.. hahah...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:39 AM| 0 Butterflies
if she can, so can i!
such melancholic weather. suits my disconsolated soul. i feel like im bein sucked into a blackhole. emotions void. screaming, knicking, these chains pulling me back, holding me prisoner to thoughts and memories. somebody help break me free. i dont make people feel whole. maybe 1/4 or maybe 1/8, actually i think its less. no matter how hard i yell, scream, cry, beg, i wont be heard.somebody save me from these depths of hell. the water agitated by my screams, pummel against me, drowning me.. slowly my tired body gives up the fight , accepting the frigid water, it washes over me. the torture is not worth it. i feel myself going down, deeper and deeper under those murky depths. can somebody save me before its too late? men in skin tight suit wit a red cape and red underwear on tha outside instead of tha inside need not apply. i was such a fool. hoping. disillusioned. warped. in my own world. how could i not see i meant nothing. just a muse. to be used at every whim and fancy. be happy. wat a joke. laugh hard, its a long way to the bank.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:55 AM| 0 Butterflies
I am a daydreamer.
I think too much.
I am short.
I am gullible.
I love to laugh.
I am highly amuseable.
I can be quite random.
I am friendly,
yet I am very shy.
I love butterflies.
Go figure.
<3 to all I know and love.
My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006
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My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006