Monday, August 30, 2004
grateful!
i wanna say im so gratful for evrythin i have, ma family, even tho i may act like a damn fucker.. ma frens tho i noe th find me an irritating pest most of tha time... i still love y'all ya hear???? i went to cut hair wit nufail yesterday.. she looks like a lil boy!! haha no lah... she looks good... she can pull off short hair uh... and she makes weird pathetic animal noises, and i thought when she did tha cub ROAR but air come out was funnir.. man, adam's one is like damn hysterical uh~ i cannot tahna uh dat one... bloody hell... so afta tha hairdresser fucked up ma hair she went to her fren's bdae thang at pasir ris.. adam is an arse... he came down when i was waiting fer nufail, follow us to tampines, we cut hair, he go play game den he go off play soccer.. wth? hahah... den i went to meet yana... we went zara den far east, ROARing all tha way.. den we went to meet shakh and raihan at bedok den we headed down to simpang, hahah raihan is user funny,,, stupid sealion noises and all... hahah den dis guy who owned tha husky shop was like talkin to yana cuz she went to look at tha huskies den he ask her wher's ur other frens? den yana was like uh? not here, den she ask yunnoe adam uh? den he wa slike adam? yaaaar! den he was like, wher's adam's love? yana was like, adam's love? den he was like, tha chinese girl.. den yana was like ouhh, nufaill, yeah she comin later... hhaha... adam's love.. hahah den ghani goin back to kl! on monday~ haha... like, man, no more ghani a simpang, but he'll be back in 3 months.. haha... den dis mama came to give our fries and he wanted to light his ciggie he go and light tha filter! he put in tha wrong way! WTF!!! we all could NOT contain our laughter.. esp shaikh! man! he was like hiding behind yana, laughing and i juz turned to tha side and laughed.. fucking funnie man... den we were laughing a lot, raihan h... sealion and yana dragin and us goin ROAR!!! hahaha i went home os freakin late! almost at 12 man, and we took a cab.. hahah... thank u guys sooo much er yesterday man! dat was soooooooooo fun! love u people! hahah too bad adam coundt come down and mai was too tired, aaron went dunnow wher.. haha.. adam went to watch tha stone revivals... he as sayin they were farkin good... man i wish i could watch, actually today they performing at tha sub station and den esplanade again... he goin fer both but... dunnoe uh... weird uh if go... haiyer... maybe i can drag nufail along? imma call her now.. love u people! thank u fer bein in ma life!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:29 AM| 1 Butterflies
Saturday, August 28, 2004
life
hey... we're frens and im totally cool wit it... :) it was juz a bloody emo moment yesterday... im juz confused.. hahah... they said when i look at him ther's smthin ther.. even his bezzie mate said so.. wtFFFFF!!!!! yana let him play wit her hp, den his bezzie mate opened tha video file and tha ferst oe is bout me and ma 'confessions' which i told her to delete... den i was walkin ard wit nufail den when i came back yana told me he took tha phone and went off... i ran afta him den i was like give it back, dats not fer u 2 listen,or watch den he was like, u dunt love meee.. hahah i was like, of couse i do, ur juz not meant to see dat... i was hitting him.. fuck man, he heard enuff... he and mai kept bombarding me... its juz wat he said... fuck it... its like.. why did i fucking care?
y did u say dat nufail? how can u ask me to think of u as invisible, babe! i love u and mai and yana so fucking much.. all i need are u guys and ma sis uh of course... please dont ever say dat again... u fucking made me cry, make yana panic cuz i cry... fuck man nufail.. dat really hurt... as much as i loved him... we're frens... i need ma frens, i can be a spinster... i juz need u peopel and ma family... u guys make me tha happiest... ur guys are ma babes... i dunnoe wat id do without u guys.. shit man... i hope we're okay....
niwae, i went to tp juz now... wahahha... maisarah fell!!! wahahah.. so freakin funny, poor muhd... wahahha he was like, wtf am i supposed to do? mai ther on tha floor, clinging on to him and lmao-ing also, den we from concerned trynna not laugh cannot take it lamo also.. hahah baby, baby, u so cute can?
to maisarah and nufail and yana and sheena and yana and whoever else who you noe i love ya but i juz didnt write ur name down... i love u guys to death and seriously id be so lost without u guys.. thank u for evrythin u've done fer me and thank u fer bein ma fren all this time... i seriously appreciate it... please dont ever take ur love away fom me, i need u guys herre in ma life... thanks u guys... :)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, August 27, 2004
hole in ma heart
i fucking miss him.. a lot... i fucking hate it... i wanna forget... i mean nothing to him.. i hafta keep tellin maself dat.... i mean NOTHINGGGGGGGG!!!! ma life is so fucked up ryte now... he's juz so happy goin on wit his life... as if wat happened never existed... i need someone to like distract me.. but den i'll be heart-broken again, i shall do wat i did wit all ma otha ex's... i wont love... juz fer fun, never fall in love, never again... i dunt wanna go to skool again tmrw... haha.. ma mom is gonna be damn bingit uh when i tell her, ahh fuck it lah... ma sis came and asked me if dis were bout him. i was like noooo, dats stupid uh but who cares, obviously it is lah... i wish i could erase him from ma memory juzlike he erased me from his.. ouh sabreena file, delete, meant nothing, not even worth tha memory space.. bye uh.. ma sis bigging me now.. fark.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
gerlfrens
ryte now, im very worriedbout mai.. wat kinda fren am i man? i called her last nyte and i realised she didnt sound like herself but i didnt ask... mai, all i can say is dat, dis is btwn u both.. u noe urself how it is... one thing i learnt, never go thru a 3rd party... and he's tha kinda guy if u ask he shall tell... babe.. why didnt u answer ya phone? im worried lahhhh.. please mai.... answer can... nufail also never answer... haiz.. i feel so worried now... shit lah... afta ma day... grrrrr... i didnt go to skool agian today cuz i woke up late... hahah wat an idiot, can i skip skool again tmrw? lets wake up late again yana~ haha.. shyte.. see lah wake up late den go tanning.. ma boobies and ma arse like total contrast wit tha rest of mah bodyman.. hahah... shittttt... mai and nufail still in ma head.. esp mai... maisarah~ ugh.. i dunt like feelin dis worried... i hope she didnt get a razor and a tub and tha guts anywher, not tha guts, tha cowardice... cmon mai... nobody is worth ya life, only ur family... no guy is ever worth ur life... unless u got someone like sulaiman uh.. but seriously.. its fucking hurts now.. i totally noe u feel lah babe... maybe u feel more hurt cuz he promised u wit his werds... i was tha dillusioned fool in ma case... babe, juz dunt jump to conclusions, believe in wat u feel okays? man i need to SAY dis to u, not type it out on ma freakin blog.... maiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. i cant slp unless i noe ur allryte.. pls lah... ur torturing me.... i need to noe ur okay~ always remember i love u babe... it may not be tha love u want or need now, but i dooooooo! and u cant change dat! mannn babe... i think im like... over-doing it... but i cant help it... ur talkin bout razors and bathtub wit warm water and tha guts.. i noe u wont do anythin stupid... juz... arghhhh!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, August 26, 2004
unintended
i wanna thank nufail for introducing me to dis song cuz im like blardeeeeee in loveeee wit it... thank qader for introducing it to nufail... hahah this song is juz grec lah i tell u~ GREC!!!! hahaha madness, still wonderin bout mai... baby, baby, are u okay?
unintended
muse
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as youYou could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |9:57 PM| 0 Butterflies
i wish... i hadnever been born. yupz. sabreena wishes she had never been born, den i dunt hafta go thru dis torturous life of mine... which may i say has more downs den ups, its juz seems down most of tha time. down. down. down. way down. dis hot guy added me on frenster. wahah. no idea who tha hell he is, i sent him a mesage, asked him who he was. i shall be waiting fer him to reply, skali he added wrongly uh... dats wat i think uh... ahaha.. he kindasa looks like syaheed's bro, but i noe he's nt... and his name is haikel, i tawt it was maria's haikal. but its not... cuz we're connected thru one fren, which is bob, who i actually dunnoe, tha fish and co. bob, as in maria's ex bob, dat bob, if he were maria's haikal we would be connected thru maria also... i wanna get to noe dis guy man.. okay its cuz he's hot, so wat? i deserve a hot guy~ hahaha fucked up life. thank gawd i have ma frens and ma sis and yana... if i didnt id be lifeless... which is kida wat i am nw, but i have m.. fuck it all understand. fucking life. i should be grateful. tryin to be grateful. fucking shit lahhhhh! and i sent dat haikel guya msg and i told him he was hott... wft... hahahah.. i think i embarassd maself... ahaha.. fucccccckkkk ma lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....... *wheeeeeeeeeeeeee*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:18 AM| 0 Butterflies
fuck
i didnt go to skool today cuz i wanna finish up ma mounting boards... i went simpang afta skool wit ros yesterday.. so damn tired... i didnt sleep yesterday, prolly only for like, hmm 15 mins? talke to him on ta phone from like 12 to like 5+.. i survived skool~ barely.. haha... i learnt from our conversation dat he's moved on, wait ther was nothing to move on from.. i meant nothing to him... dats wat i learnt, it was juz a fling, dats basically wat he said... and we're frens.. wont deny im glad we're frens, he's a gr8 fren.... and he also said smthin which i wish i could prove him wrong but dat cant br done cuz we're frens now and i meant nothing to him.. freakin pissyfying... i noe i wont forget him.... always have a place in ma heart, its weird cuz i placed him so high and letss say it togetha now, i meant nothing to him... ah fuck it, seriously uh.. i dunt wanna fall in love again cuz it hurts too much... ithought itw as worth it, but how can it be when tha feelins are only one sided... u can kiss someone and not mean anything to dem, no feelings involved....
* a mistake i dont regret*
and nufail i wanna smack u, ur not some invisible third person.... nuthin to do wit ya okay babe? and mai... tha quiestions thingy, i can answer dem fer ya.. in ma own way.. i know how u feel.... i love u 2 babes much! :)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:20 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, August 22, 2004
dry ur eyes
a mistake i dunt regret.. watever, i got a name thingy and a paper heavy thingy, as in tha heavy thingy u put on ur paper so it wont fly away, whaddya call it? watever lah, i got it fromm tha els, so sweet, den neelu and najmah were complaining dat i looked damn pretty, so touched, den they had tha top 5 best dressed award, i wore jeans, i brought along a skirt actually but dunt wanna change cuz like pai seh, so in tha end i didnt win but shi wei and syed were both like, sab! we wanted u to win best dressd, shi wei was like, u look pretty today... hahah den they were sayin sabbb... those ppl dunt deserve to win best dressed uh... ahha sweethness lah dey... den i was bein ma usual crappy stuupid sekf den neelu was like, eh u damn funnie uh, den she laugh3.. hahah... wat tha hell... we were like dancing and all...i was so damn tired doin tha banner thingy fer tha teachers man... whoa, evrythin, sab u got nice handwriting, u write uh... haha in tha end no space uh.... wahahah...ma mom bought me sunnies... yay and ma sis wanna curl her hair in jb next week.. i myte follow yana go to tha beach, see uh wat time they go jb, if in tha morn den i cannot go cuz sure got skool, i wanna tan tho.. dunnow uh... tha sept holidays i'll go lah... i want yana to delete tha sab's confessons video on her hp... fuckin shyte sia, i dunt believe i said dat.... wtf were u thinkin sabreena, stupid dumbass... niwae yana saw jj... he thinks i hate him... haha jj i dunt, as if he'll ever see dis, i saw joel on tha bus juz now when i wanted to meet naquiah and diana at tha interchange... ahha talk to him denw a slike okay, byeee.. hahha, wtf..me and yana gonna go eat at simpang tmrw morning... imma tell mama i got tuition in tha morning so i dunt hafta go belajar.. hahah i want earphonessss.. sucky lorhz... niwae thanks mai.. somehow, no matter wat, u always make me feel better... love u always~ :) hope u guys had fun today.. i noe u did... wahahha... peace out... im feelin kinda morbid now tho... wonderin bout loadsa shyte, fuck man, ma life uh....aiyerrrrrrrr..... juz shoo me somebody, end ma torture, end erybody's torture! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, August 21, 2004
dry ur eyes
ma oral sucked, like a lot a lot... i dut think i ever did so badly for oral.. fuck... i came home and listened to music... den slept.. haha.. tmrw ma mom and ma sis and granny goin jb to make tha baju kurung.. he's online.. haiz~ niwae i juz heard dis song.. i loikeee... british band uh.. but nice lah... i'll paste tha lyrics herre laters.. tmrw got maths remedial and eng mock exam again.. wtf... den help make tha freakin teacher's day banner.. i ironed ma batik aready... so cool... ma mom and sis loike it.. hahah... i think its not nice uh, like u see tha otha people's one damn nice, mine is juz mediocre lah... at 4 got els farewell fer us graduating students... in skool... aiyer... gonna be lame, dunnoe wat to use, was thinkin of usin wat i use on adam's bdae... but tha skirt is kinda short and i dunt wanna see tha teacher's eyes pop out.. haha.. mrs adris, mdm yasmin all yunnoe, ms hoori and mr micheal okay lah... im not depressed, nor am i happy, juz left hanging ther yunnoe... hmmm... at least its better den bein depressed... i tend to over think lah.. i seriously do man... haha.. over analytical... and sensitive and irritating.... im juz fulla shit... oral was so bad, damn disappointed in maself... fuck man, i wanna kick maself! i seriously feel like i have nuthin to look forward to... like usually other den skool there's always da smthin dat makes u go thru tha day... haha niwae fique called syaheed and asked if we were goin for tha result show... of course, thank gawd during tha holidays! i would love to go, hopefully i can! i really hope like hell fique gets in *crosses ma fingers* he really deserves it! seriously!!! a few of ma frens saw him den they were like, eyy i saw tha guy u were talkin bout.. not bad, quie hot, den petrina was talkin bout him in tha morning i was wit her and shamini den she was sayin, ey yunnoe dat guy, tha indian malay kinda one, he look very... en i wa slike, ouhhh he look like he usin eyeliner uh? den she was like, yaaa! haha i was like, he's ma fren! his eyes naturally like dat uh.. i told ma frens to vote fer him, i think man is gonna... wahah.. love him man... i talked to zureen a lil today... she's nice.. see man! im not biased and i dunt hate her or anythin wokays! geeeeeeez~ niwae gonna paste tha song now... :P
THE STREETS LYRICS
Dry Your Eyes
In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground
Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down
World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over
So then I move my hand up from down by my side
It's shakin', my life is crashin' before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me
There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I beg you please
She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushin' my hand away to my chest, from hers
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over
And I'm just standin' there, I
can't say a word 'Cause everythin's just gone
I've got nothin'
Absolutely nothin'
Tryin' to pull her close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around her tryin' to change what she's sayin'
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage in
Look into her eyes to make her listen again
I'm not gonna fuckin', just fuckin' leave it all now
'Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow
And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town
She pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist
Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over I know in the past
I've found it hard to say
Tellin' you things, but not tellin' straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:00 PM| 0 Butterflies
friends~ grecness
yesterday was like... tha most fun i ever had in like ages man! whoa... i wanted to meet nufail wit yana.. i felt so bad bout her shirt, den she was like irritaed wit me uh... den we went tp since adam was havin a soccer match.. so me, mai, nufail and yana ther... adam didnt play... poor thing... he knew he wouldnt play uh... aaron was supposed to come cuz he didnt book in cuz he went for a funeral... so it was tha 4 of us... den nufail's mohd kao pei( i checked tha spelling fer dis) came.. i met him.. he's got a nice body! hahah *winks* but he's alllllll nufail's.. they look really cute together uh? hahah .. both so chinnky-ish... hehe... so adam was like, i need to smoke uh.. we go ferst, so we left nufail den we went out by tha side gate, tha uncle wanted to lock, lucky we managed to get ther in time... hahah den nufdail came later so she had to go under again uh... hahah... i was feelin kinda fucked up cuz nufail was obviously pissed at me... they wanted to go simpang, meet aaron ther, chill a bit, i told mai i dunt wanna go, she kept askin me to go, but i dunnoe uh, i noe i'd feel werse.. mai had aaron, nufail had adam, i noe i had yana but imagine if yana wasnt ther? so we took bus 15 so we could take 10 den nufail was like sabbb, come simpnag uh... im sorrie and all.. im tha one who should be sorry man... while we were waiting for 10 i saw adil come off tha bus, he juz celebrated his bdae wit ros.. so sweet uh they 2... so we got on tha bus, evrybody sat alone den i was like sitting, listening to music and juz lookin out tha window... i felt like cryin.. i was feelin damn fucked to tha max uh... den when we got off tha bus i hugged mai and nufdail and was like bye you guys, love ya loads.. bye adammm and all den he waslike, SAb, BASTARD sia! hahah, i was like wtf? bastard wat sia? since when i say i wanna go simpang wit u guys, den number 2 came... mai pulled me and dragged me to simpang, i wanted to watch spore idol man! fique lah! hahah den okay we were dragged ther.. so we ordered drinks, den aaron came, den he like layan layan me a bit uh, i was like juz turning back and watchin tha tv uh.. i mean wat if fique came out.. wahha, was still feelin fucked... mai was like, lets go for a walk, den aaron follow.. den nufail and adm also go.. me and yana left alone, i wa slike tellin her, dis is exactly why i dunt wanna come... imagine if u werent herre, id be left alone... den nufail came back she and yana shared tha thingy... so den mai and aaron still lookin for dunnoe wat den adam went to buy bread i took a puff of a ciggie... den adam came back i passed it back to yana... den he looked at me one kind uh... den i wa slike, ah fuck it, den i smoked a bit again, a few puffs, since i get high damn easliy uh... so afta i got high loosened up a lot.. wasnt so depressed... so like talk2 to dem, aaron came back so he and me were jokin ard, all of us uh. he and adam had astaring match.. haha dam won, dat boy can not blink for ages man! like wtf man! hahah.. so aaron went dunnow wher again den i saw fique on tv.. i saw red shirt, i wa slike FIQUE!!! i ran closer, den yana also, den nufail also, den we re like, adam hurry up!!! by tha time he got ther afta so much hesitation fique's time ws over, idiot! aiyer! haha they got tha same eyes uh! haha... so afta spore idol we all had to go home... so we walked our den adam's sister i think sms-ed him, told him dat his parents gonna go eat at simpang, so he wa slike, shyte, we walk thru tha park.. so we walk den aaron was makin fun of me, cuz i was short.. haha.. den we ran den me and mai ran to tha playground and we were like sqealing cuz of tha swings so we ran ther and play.. so we ended up playin fer like, an hour... mai went jogging, idiot, we had to wait.. hahah.. challenge uh who can swing hugher, who can dismount better... all dat shit man... haha so fun lahhhh den we walked mai to tanah merah den we walked nufail home, up her lift.. den tha 4 of us went down den they walkde home cuz they had to pass their fren some thing den me and yana went home... thank mai so much for dragging me to simpang man! i really enjoyed maself... things are still kinda fucke d cuz its ma fault.. im juz stupid yeah but im trynna get over it... tryin hard... haizzzz! i can do it... still hurts.. arrrrghhh! okay niwae gotta go oral now.. argh all tha best to mehhh! hahah peace out y'all! *much love to u guys yestreday!*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:00 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, August 19, 2004
life
hmmm... red... haha? saw fique on spore idol yesterday... so hott lah he.. i sms-ed him, i was like, ey, im gonna watch u on spore idol, den he was like, walau! damn stressful man! i asked y? he said dat dats his werst episode.. i told him he's been gettin better and better so no worries, den he told me tha show was goin on fine,, den he was like, ask ur frens to vote for me okay? hahah so those of u readin this vote TAUFIK!!! he'll be 03 on tha show.. third guy, will be singing my girl... TAUFIK okays??? hahah.. madness... today went to skool mrs kow scare us man.. tha oral is totally freakin me out...ugh.. and wat faisal told me bout wat they asked does not help either.. im so scared. i need to do well.. so i can do well for english... aiyohhh.. its all in ma brains.. and ma mouth... i hope i dunt sprout crap man~ hahah... scary! me and yana supposed to go tuition juz now.. den we didnt feel like, so we were like, hmm, lets go swensens and get tha 5 scoops of ice cream for $1.39 thingy.. den i asked her if we should buy tha brownie... den we go ther (airport swensens) den its only b4 5pm uh tha ice thang thingy... cheyyy.. haha so we had brownies... niwae i wanna apologize to nufail... im so bloody sorry bout ut shirt uh babe.. i didnt mean it.. sorry~ i noe when u lent it to me u trusted me wit it... i would never purposely harm tha shirt... :) dat was supposed to make u smile niwae... but im sincerely sorry from tha bottom of ma heart tau! so tha www.imsosososorrynufailimmahorriblefren.com.sg hahha wtf... it dunt really exist pple... niwae. afta dat me and yana dunnoe wher to go (sorry agian nufail!) so we went tanah merah park.. haha sit on tha swings, talk2 all... den we go play on tha slide all... make me climb tha fireman pole again yana! tsk! i almost fell... ma legs not as long as urs uh... so den i told her we go to tha bus stop den can walk past ma teacher's hse.. so she like uh okay uh.. so we were walkin den we saw 2 guys.. i was like ehhh... is dat adam and aaron? mai juz called me and ask me to cover fer her.. she was wit aaron, new best frens man... wtf... hahha... den look again it was them uh! haha i was like, ADAM! den we cross tha road, he was like, watcha doin herre? i was goin home, so we walk outside wit dem den they went home... so coincedental.. haha... aaron signed up fer his bike lisence juz now.. he so proud of himself.. haha im so mean.. no lah... hope he gets it soon? he should get car uh.. den we all can squash in.. hahah nvm dat'll be me nxt yr... niwae najmah is wit md noh since tha 3rd... hah hadto confirm ferst.. and she and neelofar were like.. sabreena are u wit suhairi? wtf... harith also like dat.. evrythin also, eh look suhiri is ther, suhairi, suhairi.. den lini also thought i like suhairi, den najmah and neelu also thought so, cuz dat time i went home wit him den najmah and noh were on tha way home.. aiyer.. juz cuz i go home wit him dunt mean shit lah... i mean i can hold aguys hand and he still be a fren, i can make out wit a guy but all we are is frens wat... u dunt assume uh... niwae i've been listenin to tha unintended song which nufail recommended, fucking good woman! love ya man! and dis sound has been spinning in ma head recently, its an old song but still... haiz~
How Can I Not Love You
Cannot touch, Cannot hold,
Cannot be together
Cannot love,
Cannot kiss,
Cannot love each other
Must be strong
and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot trip,
Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel,
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not say
What we no longer long
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:05 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
monday blues
haloooo... i hate skool. so sick of it! i cant wait to get out! man! niwae i was really lookin forward to afta skool today... adam ask us to go down for his soccer match, so i went home st8 afta skool... mrs kow gave a mock exam den it was like supposed to finish at 3.50, when skool ends for 3.20 for us.. i was like, WTF!!! i wanted to go for ta match, started at 5 den since like a lot of us finish early mrs kow let us off at 3.20, thank gawd man!!! i rushed home called nufail den washed up asap den left... reach ther i saw mai she said she had to go dunnow wher so i was like. okay lah, den met nufail and qader, he's got such pretty eyes and sucha sweet smile.. hahah den i forgot to say i was on tha way home i saw aaron and patrick but i was too late to wave at aaron tha meanie... hahha no lah... niwae den nufail told me aaron was ther, so we went to sit wit him and patrick... den mai came... hahah tha match was kinda uneventful uh.. tp scored 1, den sp equalised wit a penalty.. mai got close to aaron fast... she warms up yo anybody fast uh.. she looked damn good... mini to tha mini skirt, nufail yellow topshop top and dat rainbow belt.. whoa~ hotness! hahah adam didnt play, we all smangat come down to watch him play... geez... aaron was like, im never takin anotha mc for u man... aaron has gorgeous eyes! hahah so greeeen... big green eyes! adam also has nice eyes, they like have tha same kinda lashes but nobody can beat adam uh... sexy bad boy eyes.. wahhha, dat idoit... so we waited fer adam to change den aaron was like, sabreena, i hafta tell u smthin, ther was no more chicken crumbs.. if not i would have given u... im not mean okay... hahah cuteness lah he, i never expected him to do dat! den he kept kickin me lightly uh. esp when he used adam's predator pulse... hahah... so we went simpang but patrick went home... i knew he'd feel weird... i was askin patrick bout his aunt and his sister den aaron was like, how she noe ur aunt? so patrick explained dat i used to be neighbours wit his aunt and uncle den he was like, WTF, u neighbours wit evrybody uh? cuz me and aaron used to be neighbours... haha but i remember all his siblings except him, i seriously do not rememeber anythin bout him! hahah ma sis does remember him.. i was like 4 okay! so we proceeded to simpang without patrick cuz he had plans so we wanted to go out tha side gate but it was locked so we girls had to roll under tha gate and tha guys jumped over, yes we rolled under! wtf! hahah i'll never do it again! dats wat u get fer bein short... so we went simpang.. eat... chill... den aaron had to leave, his bro andre was pickin him up, they had to go for a wake... so evrybody hugged him and i was last i was like k aaron, bye den i hugged him, den he was like, actually i dunt wanna hug u but okay... den when i let go he was like i dunt wanna hug u cuz u forgot i gave u ur first bicycle ride... hahah.. cute lahhh he.... so we walked mai to tanah merah den me, nufail and adam walked to nufail's house, ma bus came and i left.. was fun uh~ hahah... den niwae mai juz called me wit some news... im happy for her but i want her to be careful... yunnoe wat, frenships fuck up bcuz of relationships uh... im feelin damn fucked up now dunnow y lah, fuck it uh, i tell u, i fucking hate ma life uh... ugh. and did i say the alchemist is a fucking good book? i keep readin it over and over again, tha nice parts uh, i dunt wanna hand it over back to ma sis... paulo coelho is juz a man wit amazing insight.. i wanna read veronika decides to die... like damn intreresting nufail! thanks so damn much for tha cd babE! i larveeee it! hahah... thank gawd i have ma frens man, but its like now, maisarah is like wit aaron and nufail has adam... im like tha odd one out again, den adam has aaron and nufail has mai, i mean me and nufail and mai can uh, but when its mai and aaron, nufail and adam.. i need to drag some guy in uh! hahah i wonder if fique would like to join us.. i realise dat i dont warm up to people as easily as maisarah and nufail does.. they dive in straight away and talk to tha person bout stoopid crap also they leave people captivated... hahha... i take a while to warm up to people uh... and i like keepin quiet a lot. i mean i can talk, esp when im in tha mood.. but sometimes... ugh... man i feel like i have nothing to look forward for... i mean usually for me, i have smthin to keep me goin thru tha week.. spore idol and fique on it tmrw... dats bout it... afta dat its juz a blank empty space... nothin beyond tha horizon... how can one still be so young and yet feel so dead and empty? look into ma heart, you'll find tha ans to dat...peace out y'all who actually bother to read dis, ive got no bloody idea why... hahha..
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, August 16, 2004
singapore idol
singapore idol was nufking fun! tha fique fans... were so madddd! hahah tha 6 girls especially, tha ones who had his names spelt out on their chest... u hafta look out fer em.. 5 in black, one in blue tha one in blue was usin tha letter 'U'.. she's fique's ex gf,yana, she is like so tha very tha bloody tha nice!... and tha otha gurl usin tha 'F' is like sooo gorgeous! i could not staring at her... there was a malay girl usin ha letter 'K' also.. not bad uh she.. pretty... hahha... i shall not divulge any details on tha shoe.. its on tha 9th of september.. y'all MUST vote for TAUFIK okays?hahah, so weird calling him taufik... fique suits him uber better.. wahhah he's tha 3rd one.. i'll juz let ya noe, tha girls in that show are nufking good.. very diva-ish! and fique in ma opinion was tha only good guy.. got dis otha guy uh... but tha judges are kinda deaf and biased to hear dat he's hmmm NOT CLAY AIKEN! and i had like a GOOd talk wit him yesterday.. cleared evrythin up.. weirdly im not disappointed or depressed.. im glad we're frens.. all of us... frenship always lasts longer den relationships man... hahah... not like we had a relationship but if actually get ma drift... he's juz one helluva amazing guy.. whahha :) love him to bits and pieces along wit all ma otha fwens man!!! u guys like totally rawk ma world... *wheeeee* and lini, wassup wit me and liking suhairi.. wher'd ya get dat idea from man? harith? cuz i swear u 2 may have broken up but still think tha same... when i went home wit suhairi dat day, harith was makin fun of us tha whole way... aiyer! and sorry nufail i coundt go out wit u yesterday! i wish we could have! but ma parents came home den they wanted to go out lah... i got jeans? 599.. not wat i want but ma dad keeps makin noise bout how ma jeans are too damn low and tha ones i wanted was 593 like tha ones i have now which are tha way too damn low one... i love those jeans man.. nufking nice.. aiyer... gonna collect ma 599's later... went to zara and topshop to look for jeans... like hahah i look crap in zara jeans, and topshop jeans are WAYYY to bif ger meh... and im listenin to edit the sad parts, not cuz nufail burned me tha cd but bcuz ma sis connected tha earphones to tha cpu and voila, its werkin, only when she's ard of course cuz she tha only one wit eait wires long enuff for us to sit down and listen! grrrr! im supposed (unconfirmed lah) to call adam and see if he can follow me collect ma jeans, but since ma parents wanna go... okay lah.... tmrw adam got soccer match! tp against sp! he ask me and nufail to come down! and since nufail finish early, we can! wheee! i finally get to see dat arse play soccer.. striker yunnoE! go babe! we be proud no matter wat! wahahah.. u better make us proud... skali we cheer cheer den ter-malu uh... wahlauuuu... hahaha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:45 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, August 13, 2004
watever
guess wat! i got ma malay o levels results today.. anybody wanna guess how much i got?!?!?! hahah i dunt care if u care.. i got a nufking 4! sabreena akbal, tha idiot who has either never passed or gotten a 6 got a bloody b4 for her malay o levels!*wheeeeeeee* i noe its like not amazing lah but still... coolness ryteeee? hahah... i had a good talk wit suhairi yesterday... maybe he helped put things more obviously for me... i have decided dat me and him should dtay juz frens... i dunnoe if i can do it... i'll try...i sat in tha toilet fer ages juz cryin and trynna let go.... den he hadta call yesterday.. i was kinda mean to him uh... he said he missed me... sabreena, he only misses u as a fren.. think of it like dat... and i finally told nufail.. feel better babes.. love u always.. i met her for a while.. we went simpang... lifeless man we all.. we were laughing so much.. hahah... den saw adam's frens, tha bedok view guys uh... they smiled at meh... haha at least they noe i exist.. whoa... hahha...a sin im shocked they remember me...ma parents not stayin over at their country club on saturday.. crap uh... ther goes ma smeakin out.. crapppp~ i wanna go outttttttt! saturday got mock exam so cannot come home on friday and dats when they'll be away... yalkz! ouh well... id probably have nothin to actually do on tha saturday nyte, but tha idea of bein able to go out was grec man... haiz, so depressing, and im not goin to skool tmrw.. got art... havent finish.. wahahah.. confirm kene marah sia... fuck uh.. i got a pre date wit nufail b4 her date...dunnoe bout tha spore idol thang.. aiyer...i wanna gooooo! how can ma dad like not allow it man~ see how uh tmrw his mood.. haiz... wish i didnt feel dis way bout him.. in a way maybe i dont wanna forget him.. but tha more i hold on... tha more expectations i'll have and tha more easily disappointed i'll be... im jua goin wit tha flow.. watever happens, happens...somebody find me someone better den im, cuz i dont think i can... :( i love nufaillll and maisarahhh~ *hugs and kisses to u both!*
~ur lips upon ma lips would be tha sweetest sin~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
life
halooooo... kl was like boooring man~ it was so crap, tha hotel was like crap and tha food ther was even crappier. ma dad did most of tha shopping... it was okay uh, ive had better vacations... :( came back like at lik 10 yesterday... i met adam today~ he was like sooooo.. not happy.. den aaron came... i felt weird, i knew they wanted me to like fuck off.... haiz~ den i had to meet ma sis den meet ma dad.. tha good thing is dat friday ma sis and syaheed got tix fer tha recording fer spore idol.. FIQUE! ahhhhhhhhhhhh so gorgeous! i cant wait to see him man~ he can do it.. he meh idol! wheeeeeeeeeee~ den juz now me, ma sis and ma bro went parkway den ma parents decided not to come, bloody mf uh~ so we checked out tha computers den went home i was like depressed at home uh.. den skali i called nufail, den she told me she at simpang, ask me to come down, so i took a cab down, i dunnoe why, she always makes me feel betta so we chilled wit aaron and adam.. fun.. i think aaron hates me... haha.. cuz i mouth off all tha time... so yeah.. later lah, i feel so bloody stupid... hahah.. but i had fun wit dem... aaron is like, funnie... *MARI* hahha or tha *BUTOH* wahhah... kk laters y'all.. peace out...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, August 07, 2004
its werkin!
hey~ ive been tryin to get in dis thang but i coundt so herre i am.. gonna set off to kl soon.. dunt miss me too much, for those who do, i should be back tmrw.. hahah... go kl one day... wth ryte? well niwae, i had so much nufking fun wit maisarah baby and nufail love today juz hanging out in town and taking a gazillion pics... hahha national day was kinda fun yesterday,,, i liked tha whole all of us singing so damn smangatly and tha whole choo choo train thang ard tha hall and how tha teachers dressed up as like, samsui woman(mrs liao) tha lontong woman(cikgu aminah!!!) tha indian barber (mr micheal) tha satay man (mr majid) and tha kacang man(mr ridzwan).. mrs liao was soo cute and mr majid was fun, he came out dancing... tha best was mr ridzwan.. he action bollywood all... den mrs adris asked faisal to go up to him and do tha bangra wit him in front of tha whole hall.. it was damn fun... and they brought real food uh.. like real satay and real kacang and all... heheh... went to eat wit tha malay people at simpang afta dat..
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i went out wit nufail and yana on wednesday,,, haha... yana was so shocked to see nufail, she kept slapping herself, she was like, am i dreaming? hha cuteness lah.. den i saw these really nice like hell mambo shoes and tha smallest size they got anywher is 6.. and its 50% off summore,,, heart pain! hahha den i saw amy and fel fel.. they went to buy their national day outfits.. and fel's pants were so see thru yesterday... so yeah i ter-serempak wit dem in town, when i juz got heartbroken by tha mambo shoes so they were like, sabbbb den we were talkin2 den ey were like, h, we bought smthin fer u.. they bought me butterfly earrings.. er no reason, so bloody sweet ryte?
so nufking touched yunnoe... like whoa...:) i love em all to bits, man i love ma frens... yes, even faisal...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i met adam and his fren elfy on monday... went to eat at (lets say it togetha now) simpang... hahha.. lifeless man.... but i love dat place... all u need is company..elfy reminds me alot of fadli.. they look a lil a like den u can tell if they dunnow u they kinda quiet den when they do noe u they get all crazy and loony... i miss adam... dunt ask y, i like managed to meet all those people i love this weeek.. dats a good thang.. haha... chaotic now,,, gtg.. :( i love y'all okays.. much much
*missin him*
- u dunt miss ur water til tha well runs dry, but i believe so strongly dat u and i
wont womebody ans me tha qn why, u dunt miss ur water til ur well runs dryyy-
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |7:25 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, August 02, 2004
love
well.... i had an amazing day yesterday.. or issit dis mawnin.. dunnoe, dunt care. ma parents should sleep in hotels more often... me, yana and sheena can have more fun. and they should bring han along... portishead is sooo happening~ hahah. intertwined hearts. i dunt understand anythin but somehow i understand it perfectly.maybe its juz smthin btwn us both. am i living a lie? i noe i am. but to wat extent is it a lie? we have feelings for each otha but mine juz run deeper. dats y its dangerous. if some otha gurl comes into tha picture. id be shattered.crushed. i dunt want dat. i try to protect maself from tha hurt i noe i will feel. but for those moments of perfection, of such bliss. its worth it. bein in his arms. smellin him.takin him in. his breath on ma face. bliss. pure bliss. u never want it to end. juz stay ther in his arms. thinkin bout it makes me miss him more. but its smthin u cannot indulge it. its specialness will be gone. thafeelin, tha thought of when will it happen? when will i see u again keeps resonating in ma mind. swirling wit thoughts so deep even i cant comprehend. i wish things were different. i wish i understood wat god has in store for me. i wish i actually knew. i can taste him. ouh fark. it was nice to see fateha again yesterday. and susu too... hahah i love his merepek-ness man.. i fee so bad fer dragging him all tha way to town den havin to leave a while later uh... sorry susu... ur tha feeling on ma fingertips. tha wind on ma cheeks. tha love in ma heart.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:15 AM| 0 Butterflies
grateful!
i wanna say im so gratful for evrythin i have, ma family, even tho i may act like a damn fucker.. ma frens tho i noe th find me an irritating pest most of tha time... i still love y'all ya hear???? i went to cut hair wit nufail yesterday.. she looks like a lil boy!! haha no lah... she looks good... she can pull off short hair uh... and she makes weird pathetic animal noises, and i thought when she did tha cub ROAR but air come out was funnir.. man, adam's one is like damn hysterical uh~ i cannot tahna uh dat one... bloody hell... so afta tha hairdresser fucked up ma hair she went to her fren's bdae thang at pasir ris.. adam is an arse... he came down when i was waiting fer nufail, follow us to tampines, we cut hair, he go play game den he go off play soccer.. wth? hahah... den i went to meet yana... we went zara den far east, ROARing all tha way.. den we went to meet shakh and raihan at bedok den we headed down to simpang, hahah raihan is user funny,,, stupid sealion noises and all... hahah den dis guy who owned tha husky shop was like talkin to yana cuz she went to look at tha huskies den he ask her wher's ur other frens? den yana was like uh? not here, den she ask yunnoe adam uh? den he wa slike adam? yaaaar! den he was like, wher's adam's love? yana was like, adam's love? den he was like, tha chinese girl.. den yana was like ouhh, nufaill, yeah she comin later... hhaha... adam's love.. hahah den ghani goin back to kl! on monday~ haha... like, man, no more ghani a simpang, but he'll be back in 3 months.. haha... den dis mama came to give our fries and he wanted to light his ciggie he go and light tha filter! he put in tha wrong way! WTF!!! we all could NOT contain our laughter.. esp shaikh! man! he was like hiding behind yana, laughing and i juz turned to tha side and laughed.. fucking funnie man... den we were laughing a lot, raihan h... sealion and yana dragin and us goin ROAR!!! hahaha i went home os freakin late! almost at 12 man, and we took a cab.. hahah... thank u guys sooo much er yesterday man! dat was soooooooooo fun! love u people! hahah too bad adam coundt come down and mai was too tired, aaron went dunnow wher.. haha.. adam went to watch tha stone revivals... he as sayin they were farkin good... man i wish i could watch, actually today they performing at tha sub station and den esplanade again... he goin fer both but... dunnoe uh... weird uh if go... haiyer... maybe i can drag nufail along? imma call her now.. love u people! thank u fer bein in ma life!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:29 AM| 1 Butterflies
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By 
, @ 3:24 PM
Saturday, August 28, 2004
life
hey... we're frens and im totally cool wit it... :) it was juz a bloody emo moment yesterday... im juz confused.. hahah... they said when i look at him ther's smthin ther.. even his bezzie mate said so.. wtFFFFF!!!!! yana let him play wit her hp, den his bezzie mate opened tha video file and tha ferst oe is bout me and ma 'confessions' which i told her to delete... den i was walkin ard wit nufail den when i came back yana told me he took tha phone and went off... i ran afta him den i was like give it back, dats not fer u 2 listen,or watch den he was like, u dunt love meee.. hahah i was like, of couse i do, ur juz not meant to see dat... i was hitting him.. fuck man, he heard enuff... he and mai kept bombarding me... its juz wat he said... fuck it... its like.. why did i fucking care?
y did u say dat nufail? how can u ask me to think of u as invisible, babe! i love u and mai and yana so fucking much.. all i need are u guys and ma sis uh of course... please dont ever say dat again... u fucking made me cry, make yana panic cuz i cry... fuck man nufail.. dat really hurt... as much as i loved him... we're frens... i need ma frens, i can be a spinster... i juz need u peopel and ma family... u guys make me tha happiest... ur guys are ma babes... i dunnoe wat id do without u guys.. shit man... i hope we're okay....
niwae, i went to tp juz now... wahahha... maisarah fell!!! wahahah.. so freakin funny, poor muhd... wahahha he was like, wtf am i supposed to do? mai ther on tha floor, clinging on to him and lmao-ing also, den we from concerned trynna not laugh cannot take it lamo also.. hahah baby, baby, u so cute can?
to maisarah and nufail and yana and sheena and yana and whoever else who you noe i love ya but i juz didnt write ur name down... i love u guys to death and seriously id be so lost without u guys.. thank u for evrythin u've done fer me and thank u fer bein ma fren all this time... i seriously appreciate it... please dont ever take ur love away fom me, i need u guys herre in ma life... thanks u guys... :)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, August 27, 2004
hole in ma heart
i fucking miss him.. a lot... i fucking hate it... i wanna forget... i mean nothing to him.. i hafta keep tellin maself dat.... i mean NOTHINGGGGGGGG!!!! ma life is so fucked up ryte now... he's juz so happy goin on wit his life... as if wat happened never existed... i need someone to like distract me.. but den i'll be heart-broken again, i shall do wat i did wit all ma otha ex's... i wont love... juz fer fun, never fall in love, never again... i dunt wanna go to skool again tmrw... haha.. ma mom is gonna be damn bingit uh when i tell her, ahh fuck it lah... ma sis came and asked me if dis were bout him. i was like noooo, dats stupid uh but who cares, obviously it is lah... i wish i could erase him from ma memory juzlike he erased me from his.. ouh sabreena file, delete, meant nothing, not even worth tha memory space.. bye uh.. ma sis bigging me now.. fark.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
gerlfrens
ryte now, im very worriedbout mai.. wat kinda fren am i man? i called her last nyte and i realised she didnt sound like herself but i didnt ask... mai, all i can say is dat, dis is btwn u both.. u noe urself how it is... one thing i learnt, never go thru a 3rd party... and he's tha kinda guy if u ask he shall tell... babe.. why didnt u answer ya phone? im worried lahhhh.. please mai.... answer can... nufail also never answer... haiz.. i feel so worried now... shit lah... afta ma day... grrrrr... i didnt go to skool agian today cuz i woke up late... hahah wat an idiot, can i skip skool again tmrw? lets wake up late again yana~ haha.. shyte.. see lah wake up late den go tanning.. ma boobies and ma arse like total contrast wit tha rest of mah bodyman.. hahah... shittttt... mai and nufail still in ma head.. esp mai... maisarah~ ugh.. i dunt like feelin dis worried... i hope she didnt get a razor and a tub and tha guts anywher, not tha guts, tha cowardice... cmon mai... nobody is worth ya life, only ur family... no guy is ever worth ur life... unless u got someone like sulaiman uh.. but seriously.. its fucking hurts now.. i totally noe u feel lah babe... maybe u feel more hurt cuz he promised u wit his werds... i was tha dillusioned fool in ma case... babe, juz dunt jump to conclusions, believe in wat u feel okays? man i need to SAY dis to u, not type it out on ma freakin blog.... maiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.. i cant slp unless i noe ur allryte.. pls lah... ur torturing me.... i need to noe ur okay~ always remember i love u babe... it may not be tha love u want or need now, but i dooooooo! and u cant change dat! mannn babe... i think im like... over-doing it... but i cant help it... ur talkin bout razors and bathtub wit warm water and tha guts.. i noe u wont do anythin stupid... juz... arghhhh!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, August 26, 2004
unintended
i wanna thank nufail for introducing me to dis song cuz im like blardeeeeee in loveeee wit it... thank qader for introducing it to nufail... hahah this song is juz grec lah i tell u~ GREC!!!! hahaha madness, still wonderin bout mai... baby, baby, are u okay?
unintended
muse
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as youYou could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |9:57 PM| 0 Butterflies
i wish... i hadnever been born. yupz. sabreena wishes she had never been born, den i dunt hafta go thru dis torturous life of mine... which may i say has more downs den ups, its juz seems down most of tha time. down. down. down. way down. dis hot guy added me on frenster. wahah. no idea who tha hell he is, i sent him a mesage, asked him who he was. i shall be waiting fer him to reply, skali he added wrongly uh... dats wat i think uh... ahaha.. he kindasa looks like syaheed's bro, but i noe he's nt... and his name is haikel, i tawt it was maria's haikal. but its not... cuz we're connected thru one fren, which is bob, who i actually dunnoe, tha fish and co. bob, as in maria's ex bob, dat bob, if he were maria's haikal we would be connected thru maria also... i wanna get to noe dis guy man.. okay its cuz he's hot, so wat? i deserve a hot guy~ hahaha fucked up life. thank gawd i have ma frens and ma sis and yana... if i didnt id be lifeless... which is kida wat i am nw, but i have m.. fuck it all understand. fucking life. i should be grateful. tryin to be grateful. fucking shit lahhhhh! and i sent dat haikel guya msg and i told him he was hott... wft... hahahah.. i think i embarassd maself... ahaha.. fucccccckkkk ma lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....... *wheeeeeeeeeeeeee*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:18 AM| 0 Butterflies
fuck
i didnt go to skool today cuz i wanna finish up ma mounting boards... i went simpang afta skool wit ros yesterday.. so damn tired... i didnt sleep yesterday, prolly only for like, hmm 15 mins? talke to him on ta phone from like 12 to like 5+.. i survived skool~ barely.. haha... i learnt from our conversation dat he's moved on, wait ther was nothing to move on from.. i meant nothing to him... dats wat i learnt, it was juz a fling, dats basically wat he said... and we're frens.. wont deny im glad we're frens, he's a gr8 fren.... and he also said smthin which i wish i could prove him wrong but dat cant br done cuz we're frens now and i meant nothing to him.. freakin pissyfying... i noe i wont forget him.... always have a place in ma heart, its weird cuz i placed him so high and letss say it togetha now, i meant nothing to him... ah fuck it, seriously uh.. i dunt wanna fall in love again cuz it hurts too much... ithought itw as worth it, but how can it be when tha feelins are only one sided... u can kiss someone and not mean anything to dem, no feelings involved....
* a mistake i dont regret*
and nufail i wanna smack u, ur not some invisible third person.... nuthin to do wit ya okay babe? and mai... tha quiestions thingy, i can answer dem fer ya.. in ma own way.. i know how u feel.... i love u 2 babes much! :)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:20 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, August 22, 2004
dry ur eyes
a mistake i dunt regret.. watever, i got a name thingy and a paper heavy thingy, as in tha heavy thingy u put on ur paper so it wont fly away, whaddya call it? watever lah, i got it fromm tha els, so sweet, den neelu and najmah were complaining dat i looked damn pretty, so touched, den they had tha top 5 best dressed award, i wore jeans, i brought along a skirt actually but dunt wanna change cuz like pai seh, so in tha end i didnt win but shi wei and syed were both like, sab! we wanted u to win best dressd, shi wei was like, u look pretty today... hahah den they were sayin sabbb... those ppl dunt deserve to win best dressed uh... ahha sweethness lah dey... den i was bein ma usual crappy stuupid sekf den neelu was like, eh u damn funnie uh, den she laugh3.. hahah... wat tha hell... we were like dancing and all...i was so damn tired doin tha banner thingy fer tha teachers man... whoa, evrythin, sab u got nice handwriting, u write uh... haha in tha end no space uh.... wahahah...ma mom bought me sunnies... yay and ma sis wanna curl her hair in jb next week.. i myte follow yana go to tha beach, see uh wat time they go jb, if in tha morn den i cannot go cuz sure got skool, i wanna tan tho.. dunnow uh... tha sept holidays i'll go lah... i want yana to delete tha sab's confessons video on her hp... fuckin shyte sia, i dunt believe i said dat.... wtf were u thinkin sabreena, stupid dumbass... niwae yana saw jj... he thinks i hate him... haha jj i dunt, as if he'll ever see dis, i saw joel on tha bus juz now when i wanted to meet naquiah and diana at tha interchange... ahha talk to him denw a slike okay, byeee.. hahha, wtf..me and yana gonna go eat at simpang tmrw morning... imma tell mama i got tuition in tha morning so i dunt hafta go belajar.. hahah i want earphonessss.. sucky lorhz... niwae thanks mai.. somehow, no matter wat, u always make me feel better... love u always~ :) hope u guys had fun today.. i noe u did... wahahha... peace out... im feelin kinda morbid now tho... wonderin bout loadsa shyte, fuck man, ma life uh....aiyerrrrrrrr..... juz shoo me somebody, end ma torture, end erybody's torture! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, August 21, 2004
dry ur eyes
ma oral sucked, like a lot a lot... i dut think i ever did so badly for oral.. fuck... i came home and listened to music... den slept.. haha.. tmrw ma mom and ma sis and granny goin jb to make tha baju kurung.. he's online.. haiz~ niwae i juz heard dis song.. i loikeee... british band uh.. but nice lah... i'll paste tha lyrics herre laters.. tmrw got maths remedial and eng mock exam again.. wtf... den help make tha freakin teacher's day banner.. i ironed ma batik aready... so cool... ma mom and sis loike it.. hahah... i think its not nice uh, like u see tha otha people's one damn nice, mine is juz mediocre lah... at 4 got els farewell fer us graduating students... in skool... aiyer... gonna be lame, dunnoe wat to use, was thinkin of usin wat i use on adam's bdae... but tha skirt is kinda short and i dunt wanna see tha teacher's eyes pop out.. haha.. mrs adris, mdm yasmin all yunnoe, ms hoori and mr micheal okay lah... im not depressed, nor am i happy, juz left hanging ther yunnoe... hmmm... at least its better den bein depressed... i tend to over think lah.. i seriously do man... haha.. over analytical... and sensitive and irritating.... im juz fulla shit... oral was so bad, damn disappointed in maself... fuck man, i wanna kick maself! i seriously feel like i have nuthin to look forward to... like usually other den skool there's always da smthin dat makes u go thru tha day... haha niwae fique called syaheed and asked if we were goin for tha result show... of course, thank gawd during tha holidays! i would love to go, hopefully i can! i really hope like hell fique gets in *crosses ma fingers* he really deserves it! seriously!!! a few of ma frens saw him den they were like, eyy i saw tha guy u were talkin bout.. not bad, quie hot, den petrina was talkin bout him in tha morning i was wit her and shamini den she was sayin, ey yunnoe dat guy, tha indian malay kinda one, he look very... en i wa slike, ouhhh he look like he usin eyeliner uh? den she was like, yaaa! haha i was like, he's ma fren! his eyes naturally like dat uh.. i told ma frens to vote fer him, i think man is gonna... wahah.. love him man... i talked to zureen a lil today... she's nice.. see man! im not biased and i dunt hate her or anythin wokays! geeeeeeez~ niwae gonna paste tha song now... :P
THE STREETS LYRICS
Dry Your Eyes
In one single moment your whole life can turn 'round
I stand there for a minute starin' straight into the ground
Lookin' to the left slightly, then lookin' back down
World feels like it's caved in - proper sorry frown
Please let me show you where we could only just be, for us
I can change and I can grow or we could adjust
The wicked thing about us is we always have trust
We can even have an open relationship, if you must
I look at her she stares almost straight back at me
But her eyes glaze over like she's lookin' straight through me
Then her eyes must have closed for what seems an eternity
When they open up she's lookin' down at her feet
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over
So then I move my hand up from down by my side
It's shakin', my life is crashin' before my eyes
Turn the palm of my hand up to face the skies
Touch the bottom of her chin and let out a sigh
'Cause I can't imagine my life without you and me
There's things I can't imagine doin', things I can't imagine seein'
It weren't supposed to be easy, surely
Please, please, I beg you please
She brings her hands up towards where my hands rested
She wraps her fingers round mine with the softness she's blessed with
She peels away my fingers, looks at me and then gestures
By pushin' my hand away to my chest, from hers
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over
And I'm just standin' there, I
can't say a word 'Cause everythin's just gone
I've got nothin'
Absolutely nothin'
Tryin' to pull her close out of bare desperation
Put my arms around her tryin' to change what she's sayin'
Pull my head level with hers so she might engage in
Look into her eyes to make her listen again
I'm not gonna fuckin', just fuckin' leave it all now
'Cause you said it'd be forever and that was your vow
And you're gonna let our things simply crash and fall down
You're well out of order now, this is well out of town
She pulls away, my arms are tightly clamped round her waist
Gently pushes me back and she looks at me straight
Turns around so she's now got her back to my face
Takes one step forward, looks back, and then walks away
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now
It's over I know in the past
I've found it hard to say
Tellin' you things, but not tellin' straight
But the more I pull on your hand and say
The more you pull away
Dry your eyes mate
I know it's hard to take but her mind has been made up
There's plenty more fish in the sea
Dry your eyes mate
I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts
But you've got to walk away now.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:00 PM| 0 Butterflies
friends~ grecness
yesterday was like... tha most fun i ever had in like ages man! whoa... i wanted to meet nufail wit yana.. i felt so bad bout her shirt, den she was like irritaed wit me uh... den we went tp since adam was havin a soccer match.. so me, mai, nufail and yana ther... adam didnt play... poor thing... he knew he wouldnt play uh... aaron was supposed to come cuz he didnt book in cuz he went for a funeral... so it was tha 4 of us... den nufail's mohd kao pei( i checked tha spelling fer dis) came.. i met him.. he's got a nice body! hahah *winks* but he's alllllll nufail's.. they look really cute together uh? hahah .. both so chinnky-ish... hehe... so adam was like, i need to smoke uh.. we go ferst, so we left nufail den we went out by tha side gate, tha uncle wanted to lock, lucky we managed to get ther in time... hahah den nufdail came later so she had to go under again uh... hahah... i was feelin kinda fucked up cuz nufail was obviously pissed at me... they wanted to go simpang, meet aaron ther, chill a bit, i told mai i dunt wanna go, she kept askin me to go, but i dunnoe uh, i noe i'd feel werse.. mai had aaron, nufail had adam, i noe i had yana but imagine if yana wasnt ther? so we took bus 15 so we could take 10 den nufail was like sabbb, come simpnag uh... im sorrie and all.. im tha one who should be sorry man... while we were waiting for 10 i saw adil come off tha bus, he juz celebrated his bdae wit ros.. so sweet uh they 2... so we got on tha bus, evrybody sat alone den i was like sitting, listening to music and juz lookin out tha window... i felt like cryin.. i was feelin damn fucked to tha max uh... den when we got off tha bus i hugged mai and nufdail and was like bye you guys, love ya loads.. bye adammm and all den he waslike, SAb, BASTARD sia! hahah, i was like wtf? bastard wat sia? since when i say i wanna go simpang wit u guys, den number 2 came... mai pulled me and dragged me to simpang, i wanted to watch spore idol man! fique lah! hahah den okay we were dragged ther.. so we ordered drinks, den aaron came, den he like layan layan me a bit uh, i was like juz turning back and watchin tha tv uh.. i mean wat if fique came out.. wahha, was still feelin fucked... mai was like, lets go for a walk, den aaron follow.. den nufail and adm also go.. me and yana left alone, i wa slike tellin her, dis is exactly why i dunt wanna come... imagine if u werent herre, id be left alone... den nufail came back she and yana shared tha thingy... so den mai and aaron still lookin for dunnoe wat den adam went to buy bread i took a puff of a ciggie... den adam came back i passed it back to yana... den he looked at me one kind uh... den i wa slike, ah fuck it, den i smoked a bit again, a few puffs, since i get high damn easliy uh... so afta i got high loosened up a lot.. wasnt so depressed... so like talk2 to dem, aaron came back so he and me were jokin ard, all of us uh. he and adam had astaring match.. haha dam won, dat boy can not blink for ages man! like wtf man! hahah.. so aaron went dunnow wher again den i saw fique on tv.. i saw red shirt, i wa slike FIQUE!!! i ran closer, den yana also, den nufail also, den we re like, adam hurry up!!! by tha time he got ther afta so much hesitation fique's time ws over, idiot! aiyer! haha they got tha same eyes uh! haha... so afta spore idol we all had to go home... so we walked our den adam's sister i think sms-ed him, told him dat his parents gonna go eat at simpang, so he wa slike, shyte, we walk thru tha park.. so we walk den aaron was makin fun of me, cuz i was short.. haha.. den we ran den me and mai ran to tha playground and we were like sqealing cuz of tha swings so we ran ther and play.. so we ended up playin fer like, an hour... mai went jogging, idiot, we had to wait.. hahah.. challenge uh who can swing hugher, who can dismount better... all dat shit man... haha so fun lahhhh den we walked mai to tanah merah den we walked nufail home, up her lift.. den tha 4 of us went down den they walkde home cuz they had to pass their fren some thing den me and yana went home... thank mai so much for dragging me to simpang man! i really enjoyed maself... things are still kinda fucke d cuz its ma fault.. im juz stupid yeah but im trynna get over it... tryin hard... haizzzz! i can do it... still hurts.. arrrrghhh! okay niwae gotta go oral now.. argh all tha best to mehhh! hahah peace out y'all! *much love to u guys yestreday!*
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |5:00 AM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, August 19, 2004
life
hmmm... red... haha? saw fique on spore idol yesterday... so hott lah he.. i sms-ed him, i was like, ey, im gonna watch u on spore idol, den he was like, walau! damn stressful man! i asked y? he said dat dats his werst episode.. i told him he's been gettin better and better so no worries, den he told me tha show was goin on fine,, den he was like, ask ur frens to vote for me okay? hahah so those of u readin this vote TAUFIK!!! he'll be 03 on tha show.. third guy, will be singing my girl... TAUFIK okays??? hahah.. madness... today went to skool mrs kow scare us man.. tha oral is totally freakin me out...ugh.. and wat faisal told me bout wat they asked does not help either.. im so scared. i need to do well.. so i can do well for english... aiyohhh.. its all in ma brains.. and ma mouth... i hope i dunt sprout crap man~ hahah... scary! me and yana supposed to go tuition juz now.. den we didnt feel like, so we were like, hmm, lets go swensens and get tha 5 scoops of ice cream for $1.39 thingy.. den i asked her if we should buy tha brownie... den we go ther (airport swensens) den its only b4 5pm uh tha ice thang thingy... cheyyy.. haha so we had brownies... niwae i wanna apologize to nufail... im so bloody sorry bout ut shirt uh babe.. i didnt mean it.. sorry~ i noe when u lent it to me u trusted me wit it... i would never purposely harm tha shirt... :) dat was supposed to make u smile niwae... but im sincerely sorry from tha bottom of ma heart tau! so tha www.imsosososorrynufailimmahorriblefren.com.sg hahha wtf... it dunt really exist pple... niwae. afta dat me and yana dunnoe wher to go (sorry agian nufail!) so we went tanah merah park.. haha sit on tha swings, talk2 all... den we go play on tha slide all... make me climb tha fireman pole again yana! tsk! i almost fell... ma legs not as long as urs uh... so den i told her we go to tha bus stop den can walk past ma teacher's hse.. so she like uh okay uh.. so we were walkin den we saw 2 guys.. i was like ehhh... is dat adam and aaron? mai juz called me and ask me to cover fer her.. she was wit aaron, new best frens man... wtf... hahha... den look again it was them uh! haha i was like, ADAM! den we cross tha road, he was like, watcha doin herre? i was goin home, so we walk outside wit dem den they went home... so coincedental.. haha... aaron signed up fer his bike lisence juz now.. he so proud of himself.. haha im so mean.. no lah... hope he gets it soon? he should get car uh.. den we all can squash in.. hahah nvm dat'll be me nxt yr... niwae najmah is wit md noh since tha 3rd... hah hadto confirm ferst.. and she and neelofar were like.. sabreena are u wit suhairi? wtf... harith also like dat.. evrythin also, eh look suhiri is ther, suhairi, suhairi.. den lini also thought i like suhairi, den najmah and neelu also thought so, cuz dat time i went home wit him den najmah and noh were on tha way home.. aiyer.. juz cuz i go home wit him dunt mean shit lah... i mean i can hold aguys hand and he still be a fren, i can make out wit a guy but all we are is frens wat... u dunt assume uh... niwae i've been listenin to tha unintended song which nufail recommended, fucking good woman! love ya man! and dis sound has been spinning in ma head recently, its an old song but still... haiz~
How Can I Not Love You
Cannot touch, Cannot hold,
Cannot be together
Cannot love,
Cannot kiss,
Cannot love each other
Must be strong
and we must let go
Cannot say what our hearts must know
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
Cannot trip,
Cannot share sweet and tender moments
Cannot feel how we feel,
Must pretend it's over
Must be brave and we must go on,
Must not say
What we no longer long
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
Must be brave and we must be strong
Cannot say what we no longer long
How can I not love you
What do I tell my heart
When do I not want you here in my arms
How does one walks away
From all of the memories
How do I not miss you when you are gone
How can I not love you
When you are gone
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:05 AM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
monday blues
haloooo... i hate skool. so sick of it! i cant wait to get out! man! niwae i was really lookin forward to afta skool today... adam ask us to go down for his soccer match, so i went home st8 afta skool... mrs kow gave a mock exam den it was like supposed to finish at 3.50, when skool ends for 3.20 for us.. i was like, WTF!!! i wanted to go for ta match, started at 5 den since like a lot of us finish early mrs kow let us off at 3.20, thank gawd man!!! i rushed home called nufail den washed up asap den left... reach ther i saw mai she said she had to go dunnow wher so i was like. okay lah, den met nufail and qader, he's got such pretty eyes and sucha sweet smile.. hahah den i forgot to say i was on tha way home i saw aaron and patrick but i was too late to wave at aaron tha meanie... hahha no lah... niwae den nufail told me aaron was ther, so we went to sit wit him and patrick... den mai came... hahah tha match was kinda uneventful uh.. tp scored 1, den sp equalised wit a penalty.. mai got close to aaron fast... she warms up yo anybody fast uh.. she looked damn good... mini to tha mini skirt, nufail yellow topshop top and dat rainbow belt.. whoa~ hotness! hahah adam didnt play, we all smangat come down to watch him play... geez... aaron was like, im never takin anotha mc for u man... aaron has gorgeous eyes! hahah so greeeen... big green eyes! adam also has nice eyes, they like have tha same kinda lashes but nobody can beat adam uh... sexy bad boy eyes.. wahhha, dat idoit... so we waited fer adam to change den aaron was like, sabreena, i hafta tell u smthin, ther was no more chicken crumbs.. if not i would have given u... im not mean okay... hahah cuteness lah he, i never expected him to do dat! den he kept kickin me lightly uh. esp when he used adam's predator pulse... hahah... so we went simpang but patrick went home... i knew he'd feel weird... i was askin patrick bout his aunt and his sister den aaron was like, how she noe ur aunt? so patrick explained dat i used to be neighbours wit his aunt and uncle den he was like, WTF, u neighbours wit evrybody uh? cuz me and aaron used to be neighbours... haha but i remember all his siblings except him, i seriously do not rememeber anythin bout him! hahah ma sis does remember him.. i was like 4 okay! so we proceeded to simpang without patrick cuz he had plans so we wanted to go out tha side gate but it was locked so we girls had to roll under tha gate and tha guys jumped over, yes we rolled under! wtf! hahah i'll never do it again! dats wat u get fer bein short... so we went simpang.. eat... chill... den aaron had to leave, his bro andre was pickin him up, they had to go for a wake... so evrybody hugged him and i was last i was like k aaron, bye den i hugged him, den he was like, actually i dunt wanna hug u but okay... den when i let go he was like i dunt wanna hug u cuz u forgot i gave u ur first bicycle ride... hahah.. cute lahhh he.... so we walked mai to tanah merah den me, nufail and adam walked to nufail's house, ma bus came and i left.. was fun uh~ hahah... den niwae mai juz called me wit some news... im happy for her but i want her to be careful... yunnoe wat, frenships fuck up bcuz of relationships uh... im feelin damn fucked up now dunnow y lah, fuck it uh, i tell u, i fucking hate ma life uh... ugh. and did i say the alchemist is a fucking good book? i keep readin it over and over again, tha nice parts uh, i dunt wanna hand it over back to ma sis... paulo coelho is juz a man wit amazing insight.. i wanna read veronika decides to die... like damn intreresting nufail! thanks so damn much for tha cd babE! i larveeee it! hahah... thank gawd i have ma frens man, but its like now, maisarah is like wit aaron and nufail has adam... im like tha odd one out again, den adam has aaron and nufail has mai, i mean me and nufail and mai can uh, but when its mai and aaron, nufail and adam.. i need to drag some guy in uh! hahah i wonder if fique would like to join us.. i realise dat i dont warm up to people as easily as maisarah and nufail does.. they dive in straight away and talk to tha person bout stoopid crap also they leave people captivated... hahha... i take a while to warm up to people uh... and i like keepin quiet a lot. i mean i can talk, esp when im in tha mood.. but sometimes... ugh... man i feel like i have nothing to look forward for... i mean usually for me, i have smthin to keep me goin thru tha week.. spore idol and fique on it tmrw... dats bout it... afta dat its juz a blank empty space... nothin beyond tha horizon... how can one still be so young and yet feel so dead and empty? look into ma heart, you'll find tha ans to dat...peace out y'all who actually bother to read dis, ive got no bloody idea why... hahha..
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, August 16, 2004
singapore idol
singapore idol was nufking fun! tha fique fans... were so madddd! hahah tha 6 girls especially, tha ones who had his names spelt out on their chest... u hafta look out fer em.. 5 in black, one in blue tha one in blue was usin tha letter 'U'.. she's fique's ex gf,yana, she is like so tha very tha bloody tha nice!... and tha otha gurl usin tha 'F' is like sooo gorgeous! i could not staring at her... there was a malay girl usin ha letter 'K' also.. not bad uh she.. pretty... hahha... i shall not divulge any details on tha shoe.. its on tha 9th of september.. y'all MUST vote for TAUFIK okays?hahah, so weird calling him taufik... fique suits him uber better.. wahhah he's tha 3rd one.. i'll juz let ya noe, tha girls in that show are nufking good.. very diva-ish! and fique in ma opinion was tha only good guy.. got dis otha guy uh... but tha judges are kinda deaf and biased to hear dat he's hmmm NOT CLAY AIKEN! and i had like a GOOd talk wit him yesterday.. cleared evrythin up.. weirdly im not disappointed or depressed.. im glad we're frens.. all of us... frenship always lasts longer den relationships man... hahah... not like we had a relationship but if actually get ma drift... he's juz one helluva amazing guy.. whahha :) love him to bits and pieces along wit all ma otha fwens man!!! u guys like totally rawk ma world... *wheeeee* and lini, wassup wit me and liking suhairi.. wher'd ya get dat idea from man? harith? cuz i swear u 2 may have broken up but still think tha same... when i went home wit suhairi dat day, harith was makin fun of us tha whole way... aiyer! and sorry nufail i coundt go out wit u yesterday! i wish we could have! but ma parents came home den they wanted to go out lah... i got jeans? 599.. not wat i want but ma dad keeps makin noise bout how ma jeans are too damn low and tha ones i wanted was 593 like tha ones i have now which are tha way too damn low one... i love those jeans man.. nufking nice.. aiyer... gonna collect ma 599's later... went to zara and topshop to look for jeans... like hahah i look crap in zara jeans, and topshop jeans are WAYYY to bif ger meh... and im listenin to edit the sad parts, not cuz nufail burned me tha cd but bcuz ma sis connected tha earphones to tha cpu and voila, its werkin, only when she's ard of course cuz she tha only one wit eait wires long enuff for us to sit down and listen! grrrr! im supposed (unconfirmed lah) to call adam and see if he can follow me collect ma jeans, but since ma parents wanna go... okay lah.... tmrw adam got soccer match! tp against sp! he ask me and nufail to come down! and since nufail finish early, we can! wheee! i finally get to see dat arse play soccer.. striker yunnoE! go babe! we be proud no matter wat! wahahah.. u better make us proud... skali we cheer cheer den ter-malu uh... wahlauuuu... hahaha
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:45 AM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, August 13, 2004
watever
guess wat! i got ma malay o levels results today.. anybody wanna guess how much i got?!?!?! hahah i dunt care if u care.. i got a nufking 4! sabreena akbal, tha idiot who has either never passed or gotten a 6 got a bloody b4 for her malay o levels!*wheeeeeeee* i noe its like not amazing lah but still... coolness ryteeee? hahah... i had a good talk wit suhairi yesterday... maybe he helped put things more obviously for me... i have decided dat me and him should dtay juz frens... i dunnoe if i can do it... i'll try...i sat in tha toilet fer ages juz cryin and trynna let go.... den he hadta call yesterday.. i was kinda mean to him uh... he said he missed me... sabreena, he only misses u as a fren.. think of it like dat... and i finally told nufail.. feel better babes.. love u always.. i met her for a while.. we went simpang... lifeless man we all.. we were laughing so much.. hahah... den saw adam's frens, tha bedok view guys uh... they smiled at meh... haha at least they noe i exist.. whoa... hahha...a sin im shocked they remember me...ma parents not stayin over at their country club on saturday.. crap uh... ther goes ma smeakin out.. crapppp~ i wanna go outttttttt! saturday got mock exam so cannot come home on friday and dats when they'll be away... yalkz! ouh well... id probably have nothin to actually do on tha saturday nyte, but tha idea of bein able to go out was grec man... haiz, so depressing, and im not goin to skool tmrw.. got art... havent finish.. wahahah.. confirm kene marah sia... fuck uh.. i got a pre date wit nufail b4 her date...dunnoe bout tha spore idol thang.. aiyer...i wanna gooooo! how can ma dad like not allow it man~ see how uh tmrw his mood.. haiz... wish i didnt feel dis way bout him.. in a way maybe i dont wanna forget him.. but tha more i hold on... tha more expectations i'll have and tha more easily disappointed i'll be... im jua goin wit tha flow.. watever happens, happens...somebody find me someone better den im, cuz i dont think i can... :( i love nufaillll and maisarahhh~ *hugs and kisses to u both!*
~ur lips upon ma lips would be tha sweetest sin~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |1:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
life
halooooo... kl was like boooring man~ it was so crap, tha hotel was like crap and tha food ther was even crappier. ma dad did most of tha shopping... it was okay uh, ive had better vacations... :( came back like at lik 10 yesterday... i met adam today~ he was like sooooo.. not happy.. den aaron came... i felt weird, i knew they wanted me to like fuck off.... haiz~ den i had to meet ma sis den meet ma dad.. tha good thing is dat friday ma sis and syaheed got tix fer tha recording fer spore idol.. FIQUE! ahhhhhhhhhhhh so gorgeous! i cant wait to see him man~ he can do it.. he meh idol! wheeeeeeeeeee~ den juz now me, ma sis and ma bro went parkway den ma parents decided not to come, bloody mf uh~ so we checked out tha computers den went home i was like depressed at home uh.. den skali i called nufail, den she told me she at simpang, ask me to come down, so i took a cab down, i dunnoe why, she always makes me feel betta so we chilled wit aaron and adam.. fun.. i think aaron hates me... haha.. cuz i mouth off all tha time... so yeah.. later lah, i feel so bloody stupid... hahah.. but i had fun wit dem... aaron is like, funnie... *MARI* hahha or tha *BUTOH* wahhah... kk laters y'all.. peace out...
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, August 07, 2004
its werkin!
hey~ ive been tryin to get in dis thang but i coundt so herre i am.. gonna set off to kl soon.. dunt miss me too much, for those who do, i should be back tmrw.. hahah... go kl one day... wth ryte? well niwae, i had so much nufking fun wit maisarah baby and nufail love today juz hanging out in town and taking a gazillion pics... hahha national day was kinda fun yesterday,,, i liked tha whole all of us singing so damn smangatly and tha whole choo choo train thang ard tha hall and how tha teachers dressed up as like, samsui woman(mrs liao) tha lontong woman(cikgu aminah!!!) tha indian barber (mr micheal) tha satay man (mr majid) and tha kacang man(mr ridzwan).. mrs liao was soo cute and mr majid was fun, he came out dancing... tha best was mr ridzwan.. he action bollywood all... den mrs adris asked faisal to go up to him and do tha bangra wit him in front of tha whole hall.. it was damn fun... and they brought real food uh.. like real satay and real kacang and all... heheh... went to eat wit tha malay people at simpang afta dat..
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i went out wit nufail and yana on wednesday,,, haha... yana was so shocked to see nufail, she kept slapping herself, she was like, am i dreaming? hha cuteness lah.. den i saw these really nice like hell mambo shoes and tha smallest size they got anywher is 6.. and its 50% off summore,,, heart pain! hahha den i saw amy and fel fel.. they went to buy their national day outfits.. and fel's pants were so see thru yesterday... so yeah i ter-serempak wit dem in town, when i juz got heartbroken by tha mambo shoes so they were like, sabbbb den we were talkin2 den ey were like, h, we bought smthin fer u.. they bought me butterfly earrings.. er no reason, so bloody sweet ryte?
so nufking touched yunnoe... like whoa...:) i love em all to bits, man i love ma frens... yes, even faisal...
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i met adam and his fren elfy on monday... went to eat at (lets say it togetha now) simpang... hahha.. lifeless man.... but i love dat place... all u need is company..elfy reminds me alot of fadli.. they look a lil a like den u can tell if they dunnow u they kinda quiet den when they do noe u they get all crazy and loony... i miss adam... dunt ask y, i like managed to meet all those people i love this weeek.. dats a good thang.. haha... chaotic now,,, gtg.. :( i love y'all okays.. much much
*missin him*
- u dunt miss ur water til tha well runs dry, but i believe so strongly dat u and i
wont womebody ans me tha qn why, u dunt miss ur water til ur well runs dryyy-
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |7:25 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, August 02, 2004
love
well.... i had an amazing day yesterday.. or issit dis mawnin.. dunnoe, dunt care. ma parents should sleep in hotels more often... me, yana and sheena can have more fun. and they should bring han along... portishead is sooo happening~ hahah. intertwined hearts. i dunt understand anythin but somehow i understand it perfectly.maybe its juz smthin btwn us both. am i living a lie? i noe i am. but to wat extent is it a lie? we have feelings for each otha but mine juz run deeper. dats y its dangerous. if some otha gurl comes into tha picture. id be shattered.crushed. i dunt want dat. i try to protect maself from tha hurt i noe i will feel. but for those moments of perfection, of such bliss. its worth it. bein in his arms. smellin him.takin him in. his breath on ma face. bliss. pure bliss. u never want it to end. juz stay ther in his arms. thinkin bout it makes me miss him more. but its smthin u cannot indulge it. its specialness will be gone. thafeelin, tha thought of when will it happen? when will i see u again keeps resonating in ma mind. swirling wit thoughts so deep even i cant comprehend. i wish things were different. i wish i understood wat god has in store for me. i wish i actually knew. i can taste him. ouh fark. it was nice to see fateha again yesterday. and susu too... hahah i love his merepek-ness man.. i fee so bad fer dragging him all tha way to town den havin to leave a while later uh... sorry susu... ur tha feeling on ma fingertips. tha wind on ma cheeks. tha love in ma heart.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:15 AM| 0 Butterflies
I am a daydreamer.
I think too much.
I am short.
I am gullible.
I love to laugh.
I am highly amuseable.
I can be quite random.
I am friendly,
yet I am very shy.
I love butterflies.
Go figure.
<3 to all I know and love.
My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006
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My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006