Thursday, July 29, 2004
clumsy!
clumsy me~ i accidentaly deleted tha most impt part of ma hp. ma folder~ wah lau! i was tryin ma best not to cry man~ shitttt... evrythin that meant smthin to me was ther, okay meant smthin and was private... i think i should juz shoot maself fer bein so clumsy... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i still remember loadsa stuff... but it aint ther... all thoses sms-es... i can definately never ever ever ever ever ever ever get dem back... somebody shoot me man~ yana and oblique picked me up from tuition.. so sweet... oblique's so hotttt... hahah but i still think he's hot even tho its like shit now, watever sabreena, tha whole idea of dis entry is to tell people im a bloody idiot who is nufking clumsy and i deleted a very impt part of ma life ryte now and nobody cares cuz nobody noes but still i wish i could kick maself... or shoot maself... ARGHHHH! sabreena u r sucha DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
depressed.
i muz get dis off ma chest, tha gurl i was goin on about about sulaiman thang.. its ZUREEN! yesh! now y'all can tag me and join ma club bout how surreal it is fer her to like him... did i say they went out on sunday... man met her mom... and they go to and fro from skool togetha evryday, he waits fer her afta skool.. someone's in larveeee.. zureena and sulaiman, and i muz say, evryone's talkin in skool... seriously, its like evrybdy'd like, ey, wassup wit man and zureen uh? hahah... so yeah... told him to be careful... from wat he tells me she seems like a nice gurl, man was pissed wit me today cuz i didnt pass hom some stupid paper... SORRY! geeeeez. bitch uh u. stop bein so sensitive like me can? hahah... i think its kadir's bdae today... unless they joked when they told me their bdae... i went simpang wit ma family yesterday... tha new shop, tha sakura one.. tha western food is nufking good wokays, like, yummilicious.. expensive uh, but not like swensens kinda expensive... tha usual hawker place kinda expensive... hahahi had grilled fish wit lemon capers... not bad, tha fish aand chips ther much betta den tha one beside,,, and tha aglio olio pasta is like good... haha and i got adam's bdae pics... got dis group pic we took, tha ferst one evrybdy look nice and i look damn stupid and tha second one adam and peline a bit ter-cacat-ed... haha susu and yana look good also... i dunnow which pic to put on ma frenster... if i put tha one of me yana adam and aaron like weird cuz i dunt really noe aaron... and ma batik gonna finish soon! yay! mrs jonoh givin birth next monday.. so cool uh... hahah.. got tuition later. fuck, and yana has a new *ahem* fren. oblique. sucha hottie. i used to have a thang fer him too... i hope they do get togetha uh~ im jealous, evrybody has somebody, and they're all damn hot. heez. wtf is tha world coming to man? hahha, good fer em uh okay lah, i wanna go try not be depressed... wahah... im weird, i noe~ peace y'all~
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Monday, July 26, 2004
adam's birthday!!!
i usin dis colour bcuz adam loike dis colour and dis entry is dedicated fer his bdae... which is actually today so happy birthday sweeetieeeeee!!! and we celebrated wit him yesterday... was much much fun! haha... met him and susu at 2.. nufail coundt come cuz she had to look afta hasyir... :( so spoiler... but ther's always next year.. or ma bdae or urs babe.ah so i was a lil late... haha and i passed adam his bdae pressie which im confident (cheyyyy) dat he loves, cuz if he dunt i smack him upside down... haha its tha love machine shirt and a candle uh~ he changed staright away in tha bus... he looked hott yesterday! *wheet* (ive got no idea wat dats supposed to be.. whistle i guess) den look for his slipper... nice.. caramel-ish kinda colour.. nice man! haha and den he bought 2 cd's~ portishead! glory box! i LOIKE!!! arghh! and fenz ferendand.. i think dats how u spell it... den we chill at mc cafe... we did part 2 of our video wit suhairi's camera... part 1 done in tha bus uh... hahah tha 2 of em uh, really crack me up like hell uh... dats all i can say... tha whole we are at,MC CAFE thang and channel 5 switch to suria and okay nobody undersatnds except tha 3 of us... wait i muz add smthin AHAKZ!!! dats fer susu..... hahahahah... i cannot stop now.... shit... so yeah, we were gonna go to simpang den adam decided to wanna play tha virtual soccer game.... den we took a cab to simpang.. i muz say, tha cab ride was definately fun... dunnow if susu felt tha same... hahah... grec *winkz* its between tha 3 of us uh~ simpang was like probably tha most fun... i met peline.. she's so sweet lookin and she sooo nice and bubbly! seriously! we had some good chats.. hahah and... sheena, yana, syaheed, yasz and prem... ma parents and ma bro came halfway... ma mom almost had a heart attack when she saw me in tha skirt... haha... ma dad only ask bout it later uh... he wasnt really pissed *phew* so me and peline went to look fer cake and ma parents came and den, he was like, who's tha birthday boy? den he shook adam's hand and all... freaky... haha i wish i had seen it man~ damnnnn! hahah...we both came back empty handed but knowing wher to buy tha cake since aaron wasnt ther yet and evrybody was still kinda eatin uh.. so we went agian to buy and bought candles and all, and mind u it was tha pathetic sara lee cake.. chocolate uh... hahah.. me and peline got like waxed by tha wax a few times and it was kinda falling all over tha cake, so when she came back wit tha lighter cuz she forgot it earlier, aaron was ther aready... so adam didnt realise we were coming wit tha cake til we got to tha table... tha look of gratitude on his face when he saw ha cake and when he out on tha love machine shirt on tha bus is smthin i dunt think i shall be forgetting anytime soon.. that look... makes u feel so goood... cuz u can tell he really appreciated it... i really had fun yesterday... and i borrowed his belt cuz tha skirt was too damn big... i love ya man~ haha i dunnoe wat i would have done if i didnt have tha belt... ma parents were already freaked cuz it was short, imagine if they saw ma butt crack along wit it... wahahha.. so thank u adam's levi's belt~ haha and its still wit me... i shall hold it ransom til i get tha portishead cd! hahah no lah im not dat evil.. *grinz* kk enuff... i juz had fun uh yesterday... :) thanks all u guys who made it special... and to da special ass evrybody juz cant help lovin. happy birthdat sweetie.. thanks fer evrythin... :)
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Saturday, July 24, 2004
sick
im sick. fucked up. i had runny nose yesterday. den in tha morning it was like damn horrible but i managed to get like 3 hours of sleep b4 skool so i still went niwae... cuz of art.. i tell u during malay it was like damn fucked up... i took a cab home. cannot tahan already. i went home and slept man.. tried to uh~ nufail called, asked if i were still in skool cuz she wanted to take her o level cert.. sorrie babe~ and den he called. i was like, omg~ hahah... ferst thing he said was lunch? i like wanted to cry. i was sick.. bad headache and ma throat hurt, i kept coughing, ma nose was soooo runny... i was like... i cant im sick and he was like, u okay? i was like.. ??? he sounded concerned... i was kinda touched... he called me at nyte... he was like, y didnt u wanna go eat wit me and i was like, of course i did.. id have loved to but i was feeling very crappy... he was like ouh... said he didnt go to skool den he woke up he was like, hmmm i hafta meet sabreena today before i do anythin. i wanna meet her. tha ferst thing he did was call me *meltz*... so pissed at ,maself fer bein sick man.... i miss him... :( nvm... i'll see him soon i guess... *cross ma fingers* niwae im feelin a little betta now... no more fever... havent been sick tha whole year til today... so spoiler... i shoundt have gone skool today man, i juz didnt wanna tell ma mom i was sick... den hafta go doctor, like so malas. and i was watching operah winfrey and cryin... her 50th bdae... fucking amazing... speechless man... its like FUCKING to tha MAX amazing wokays! if i had dat much dough also id do dat uh... she's soooooo loved... hahah wokays... but still, dat as THE MOST, HAPPENING birthday ever! haha... adams birthday on monday... he wants to play soccer on sunday... haha... dat boy uh... he's really becoming damn gorgeous i tell u... i doubt he'll ever read dis but adam, i love u!! haha... thanks 4 always bein sucha bitch... hhaha... stop growing gorgeouser and gorgeouser!!! he looks like fique... but somehow... he's hotter now... hahah i dunnow uh... i hafta see fique to let him gorgeousness hit meh... hahah, i guess we'll all be seein him on singapore idol.. and for all u people out ther, he's totally NOT arrogant okays~ he's very tha nice... he's tha guy who started calling me lil fairy.... i'll never forget dat man... one of tha most gorgeousest guys ever said i looked like a fairy.. i was tellin him how evrybody said i looked like a rat and he juz looked at meh and was like, nawwww man, u look like a fairy, dunt she look like a lil fairy? hahah... too bad he so... mature? haha 23.. :( haha and im tellin u he can bloody sing and booooooy can he move... so smooth... yummy! hhah okay im mad... sorrie... laters y'all and nufail... i larveeeeeeeeee u~ hahah ;p
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 23, 2004
geylang vs tampines vs tuition
hellllpp mehhh~ i dunnoe wat to do! sulaiman gave me tix to tha geylang vs tampines match tonyte... he got em from mr roskhaider, cuz man got tha highest score for softball...i dunt think im goin uh, too much of a rush, id really love to see tha both of em.... havent hung out in a long time uh tha 3 of us... and racial harmony day was fun, siew ling looked NUFKINg good in her kimono.. she and anisa won best dressed.. and 2 otha guys, and mr low won best dressed male teacher...
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and you'll never guess who likes sulaiman~ i shall not say tha name but like ohmagawd!!!!!!!!!!! seriously, all bcuz of tissue... wtf, never pick up tissue for a gurl., suhairi smart, but so ungentlemanly, said he wont pick up tissue for me if it fell... wat tha hell.. man man, why u sucha sweetie uh? hahah and dat furl asked of we were togetha, me and man.. and she like soooo.. dunnow uh... haha not his type uh... snap fingers only one long queue of guys... dats y i told man, she be tha bitch, not u... wahahh, but at least she likes him, proves she does have some taste uh... hahah... niwae, u pple muz be thinkin wat tissue shyte? well, she started notcing him cuz dat time they were on tha same bus and she was sitting in front of him and her tissue fell so man picked it up fer her... so sweeeeet ryte? hahah wth... its like weird man... but cool.. we were jokin ard bout playin ard wit her but i noe he wont... he's a good boy *puke* hahha kiddin, he's mah babe man~ and he had lisz.... he's pickin her up today... dont do anythin i woundt do man~ hahah gawd sick... yeah well... and when am i gonna get tha cd? and when am i gonna get tha diary x thang? when man when? geeeez, i wonder how u put up wit sucha demanding bitchy best fren like me... haha and me and faisal were makin fun of him sayin when man picked up tha tissue fer her and like passed it to her it was like a mohabbatein moment, can juz imagine tha leaves swirling around... wahah... okay okay, i shall stop makin fun of him and her... its juz fun... yunnoe i love ya man~
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hahah anddddd i had a fight wit him dat day... i am sensitive uh, like wat adam and nufail said... yeah yeah yeah, i geddit wokys, im werkin on it lah... and he said he miss mehhh... *weeeettt* hahah madness cuz i didnt wanna call him yesterday cuz i thouht like evryday i call him wait he get like so sick of meh, den ard 11+ i went to sleep. den he called at 12... i was like? he put on stupid2 voice and i was hopin it was him but i didnt really dare hope if ya get ma drift... he was like why u neva call, i told him uh, evryday i call u, wait u get sick of meh.. he was like wat tha hell u talkin bout... den he said he woundt have called me also but he missed me *awwwwwwww* hahha im kerazee...
p.s nufail : tha one i told u i like and dis one different uh~
yeah niwae, back to it... i miss him toooooo, alot uh... sick i tell u...i never thought a guy could get ma attention fer dis long... wahah...
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i had rugby today, at tha basketball court as usual cuz we had no wher else to go since tha fied is under construction or dunnoe wat crap... den tha coach extend fer like 20 mis or so den i saw adam walkin to tha skool bus stop... i was like so happy to see him, or wat i could see of him... cannot really see... so i was like standing up while tha coach was talkin den when he dismiss us i was like walkin to tha otha end of tha basketball court to wave at him... den he like juz nod, i wave again he juz nod... arse... hahha so happy to see him den he spoiler.... hahah... his bdae coming... 26 july... i got present for him! so unbelieveable... meetin him on sunday to pass it to him... got suprise fer him...wahahah.... hope he likes it.. he betta uh dat beeyotchh! hhaha k lah laters pple~ peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |8:30 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, July 17, 2004
i wish
nothing makes sense anymore.
i feel as if life is meaningless.
someone give meaning to mah life.
im about to be sucked up into a blackhole.
somebody save me.
will anybody hear ma plea.
even if u do.
you cant make it right.
even he cant make it right.
ive been so wronged.
in a way even i dont understand.
he's there, ryte in front of mah face.
yet he's so unreachable.
i could stretch out ma hand and hold him.
i wanna hold him close.
feel his heart beating.
but its juz wrong.
cuz u 2 are perfect for each other.
it kills me.
but its true.
wish i could make her see.
ur life would be perfect.
you'd be happy.
and i juz wanna see u happy.
i wish i could see you happy
lookin at me tha way u look at her.
maybe its juz me.
ur bond is something i cant break.
im juz second to her.
maybe even third.
maybe not even on tha list.
maybe watever u've said,
is juz to make me feel better.
i miss u so fucking much.
i think i love you even more.
but who am i to define love.
especially since you dont love me,
not tha way i love you.
i wish for once i could hold you.
and know dat u are mine.
and dat all u want is me.
i wanna look in ur eyes.
and see tha love.
this started cuz i wanted to help you.
i wish i didnt feel dis way.
dissappointment wells up inside me
go away. please go away.
i wish i didnt feel dis way.
i wish u didnt make me so happy.
i wish u didnt promise me wat u did.
i wish i were wit now.
juz tha two of us.
chilling.
dat aint gonna happen.
stop bringing me up and den down again.
i wish. i wish. i wish.
maybe i wish i were juz dead.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
fucked up~
halooooo.... finally this thang is werkin~ i think i geddit~ haha followed ma sis to tha doctor juz now, poor thing not feeling well, den hang out at home, didnt go to skool today, wanted to send ma mom off to bangkok but i didnt in tha end, woke up a lil too late, had time to juz say bye and give her a hug... met adam and nufail at simpang... was fun... walked nufail home den waited fer tha bus den so home.... i juz feel fucking fucked up... juz bloody fucked up.... fucked up like hell.. fucking fucked up. life is juz so fucked up, like yunnoe when ur looking forward like hell for smthin den you noe it'll turn out crappy... ugh.... FUCK IT ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, it isnt really helping... wats gonna make me feel betta? fuck lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh forgot it dunt help... fuck. coundt help it... ugh~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, July 15, 2004
long time
its been... 3 days uh? hmm.. tuesday, wednesday, today thursday.. okay 2 days... feel like its been much longer, i went out wit mai and maria and haikal on tuesayd nyte, gorgeous people! ugh~ haha and haikal's a sweetie uh, he really sincerely cares fer maria so im glad fer her uh~ and maria left early. meet her mommy.. so me and mai and haikal went to eat, went pastamania, juz felt like it uh~ so there me and mai were eatin our pasta, den ryte, i was like trynna shake tha dried chilli thang on ma pasta.. very tha pathetic come out uh.. so afta a while i got really irritated so i put down, den mai helped me... she was like shakin2 it den like pathetic ryte, so she go and try to unscrew tha cover, didnt werk uh obviously, so she went back to shaking, and b4 yunnoe it, tha whole bloody thing fell on mah plate!*thanks mai* hahah dat idiot! hahah it was funnie uh... we were all like laughing... hahha... it was a good week uh dis week, yesterday was a kinda crappy day... but when i got home i ponteng tuition to go out wit ma mom... she been feelin like im too busy fer her so i ponteng to go out wit her and spend some time wit her... den she goin bagkok tmrw also so i was like spend soe time wit her uh, den at nyte i had fun talkin to someone... hahah and i went ljs afta skool wit man, we were havin one bloody gooood talk so yeah, if it werent fer him i be feelin even crappier den ever... and ma skool myte be havin prom... they gave us survey form and all uh... nut today got like horrible "DIALOGUE" session wit that fat penguin wit bad attitude...i dunnoe uh... he so damn sweet now its so weird, but good. i love it...haha who wanna complain... i wanna seeee him... hehe. man can u start tha diary x thang fer meh soon please, im dyin herre uh~ hahah got tuition later, lame shyte, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:39 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, July 12, 2004
feelings dont go away overnight
watchin tha wade robson project, man tha gurls are goood! hahah boys... wth... well... skool today was kinda fun.. haha cuz mrs kow told me dat mrs mah was impressed wit me cuz of mah oral... waaahhooo! haha she said tha 2 darkest people did tha best...hahah nufker man... me and faisal kena... wahaha but we did well so, yeah, dats wat counts, she said ther was room for improvement but i was good. feel so happy! wheeeeee~ and i cabut art... i didnt bring ma batik to skewl, i forgot, wa sin a rush dis morning uh... haha thank gad jonoh never see meh... i told dem to tell her im not well ma sis come pick me up, it was raining so heavily afta skool. for tha ferst time they actually opened tha side gates... haha and thank gawd i brought an umbrella... so i was kinda ferrying people around uh... hahah... den tha bus stop was like bloody flooded and it was so full of people and tha gurks started SCREAMING and tha water was like splashed all around and evrybody's shoes and pants were wet, so it was really chaotic but fun den i stood on tha chair den tha otha gurl on tha chair told me dat a cockroach was crawling on some girl's leg... i noe how she feels man. EUGH! cockroach! haha... den in tha end we took cab. hafiz, me, man and shi wei... den shi wei wanted to get off at tanah merah wit man den i was sittin at tha end and he was like, how am i gonna go out? i was okay i stand up u slide over, den evrybody in tha cab looked den we started laughing so hard, tha possibility of shi wei sliding under me was like... hahah wokays dats mean i noe... shi wei got off wit us in tha end uh...
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went out wit nufail and aboooooooo yesterday, aboooo is actually ma uncle, he's in mjc now... he's younger den meh! okay by 2 months... but still! and his real name isnt aboooo, its subhan, but they call him aboooooo cuz alam(one of his frens) said dat he looked like tha aladdin monkey, abu... hahah but we call him abooooooo.. wahah, den we saw maria and maisarah at fish and co. we went to study at marine pareade library den went to eat at banquet, on tha way ther we stopped by fish and co. uh... talk2 and all den looked at stuff den we went bk study again, den mai came, she finish werk, so i went hime wit her.. man i love her~ hahah niwae, tuesday nyte we all gonna have dinner at raimah's... i told adam den he say go simpang uh... if he gonna be ther also nevermind... haikal, maria's new fren *winks* i dunnoe if its still frens or not uh.. haha, niwae he goin too. i met him yesterday but it was like hi kinda thing... he didnt seem to really like me so yeah... hahah and i have so many new zits! yalkz~ if i could get rid of 3 things in dis world, ferst would be pimples,den be hate and thirdly, discrimination... wahah...
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i noe i said i gotta leave him... i cant, there's too much ther.. i mean yeah we not togetha, it has its own pros and cons, we are too young to be tied down by one person and all dat.. too bad i'll think of anyone else... niwae, i kinda talked to him, bout i felt as if he were usin me and all... actually he took tha werds outta ma mouth, he was like, sab! how could u think i'd wanna do dat to u? tha last thing id wanna do is hurt you, den we were talkin bout thieves and all, he said he wasnt one, den i wa like, u are, den he was like, yea thief of hearts... haha i was like, yeah, u stole mah heart, give it back! den he was like yeah, before i give it back can i take a piece? or u take ma heart uh.. haha cuteness lah he... den i admitted dat i was jealous of some people and dat i kinda felt like i wasnt good enuff fer him, he was like, wat? why u think like dat? den he said he feels like he's not good enuff for meh.. haha, dats smthin dat really bein engraved in mah mind... hahah... like i soooo dont believe he didnt think he was good enuff fer meh.. i told him uh, i cant think of anyone else id rather be wit... i cant think of anyone better and he was like ther are so many betta guys out ther and all... hahah... fer now... i mean who noes bout tha future but fer now... i cannot think of anyone betta... i really cant... not even fique... hahah... den we were supposed to put down tha phone and i was like, okay, talk to yanext week den... den he was like, i'll try calling u more often den he told me to call him, i dunt dunt wanna call cuz im scared im disturbin him uh... and im scared i'll irritate him and we both get bored easily, so yeah.. haha okayyyy i shall stop.. i miss him... hahah madness yeaw~ blahhhh blahhh blahhhh, cant wait fer dinner tmrw... hope to see him soon man...wanna see him sooooooooon~ :P eugh! haha wokays, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, July 11, 2004
clothes
i went for ma eng prelim oral in tha morning~ crap! mrs mah said i cant get band 1 cuz i read too fast~ fuck. she said ma pic description and conversation was good uh~ faisal did so bloody good. i wish i could smack his face! haha, kiddin... suhairi ask me go watch their soccer match yesterday... i was thinkin of goin, but i was alraedy goin oyr wit syaf to buy adam's bdae pressie... and i could only meet her at 3 cuz i went felicia's house to do mah art... and i saw shikin's brother again yesterday... so i met syaf den we went lookin at clothes and all.. there were these 2 skirts, one pink and tha otha blue, tha blue one very tha osh-kosh-b-gosh-ish haha $32, tha pink one &27 uh, but i loooked horible in both, tha blue one no otha size, i think it would have been better if there was a bigger size uh... syaf supposed to meet boy but he wanted to sleep *gRRRRRRRRr* i wanted to buy this pais of big old skool sunnies, $10 only, but tha look on syaf's face... still wished i bought it tho... and i bought this green shirt, green and yellow, astro boy, like wtf.. haha. cute-ish i a weird way uh.. hahah syaf tried dis skirt, so nufking nice! and she looks so good i it.. so do i uh *winkz* she said i could borrow it anytime.. hahah its like NUFKINGGGGG nice! i loike it much much! im in lurveeee wit her skirt, if i had enuff money also i would have bought budden she wanna buy so could not have bought if u get mah drift... adam shirt was on sale, if not i could not have bought tha green shirt... but i think its gonna be big for him uh... shyte......... dieeeee, had to go thru so much trouble to get tha bloody dumb ass shirt, i was so scared no more. den dat afta i bought i saw dis old uncle usin tha shirt! wahahahha... so funnie! den friday at long johns wit ros got dis jc gurl usin adam's mambo shoes... got ma gurl than yesterday, evrybody is so bloody irritating! ma mom is pissed cuz im not spending enough time wit her, den today go play golf... wit mah dad... dunt feel like stayin at homeeeeeee.... aiyoh, i wanna call nufail uh... dat asshole also...i think by next week we'll be strangers aagin... i'll be nobody to him again... one thing i noe for sure, he'll never care for me tha way he cared for dem, he'll never cry for me tha way he cried for them, its a one way thing... i hafta be strong and get outta dis... i try and convince maself too, den i remember wat he said... tha promises he made... i cant keep doin this to maself, why should i love somebody who dont really care bout meh? how do i erase him from ma memory, how do we go back to bein juz frens, i dunt wanna go back to dat, he means so damn much to meh, he'll never noe dat... he'll never realise dat, even if we were back to bein frens who saw each otha by coincidence, he wont care, it would not make a difference to him... i feel like im nobody to him... he said dont think it wrongly he juz super busy, i dont ask him to meet me all tha time... a simple sms or call, show me you care. dats wat im askin for... maybe even dat is too much to expect uh. i saw adam's fren's adik and rawdah yesterady at heeren... tha rawdah he said was hot... hahah... i think i wanna go call nufail now, i havent spoken to her in absolutely ages! like whoa man~ hahah laters people... i shall go look at ma pathetic life and ponder on why is it dis way... Peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:01 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 09, 2004
mean girls~
yesterday was a boring day... went for tuition, did number patterns wit yi rong and shamini and zheng2 and yana... abu wrote qamal loves sheena in tha maths room, and ms hana saw and she told him to erase it, den he started laughing... and we started laughing, cuz his laughter so infetcious.... we were laughing so hard til our tummies cramped and we almost cried, i think ms hana did cry, i was on tha verge of cryin, lucky ms hana asked him to get outta tha class... if not we would not stop laughing, it was hysterical, it was tha kinda thing u had to be ther to find funny, like tha time maisarah and fateha started chating emre's last name, belozologlu wit tha dustpan and broom in physics when we were all in sec 3 ( i think nufail joined in too)... dat one was like nufaking funnie uh~ i think aiyah was rolling on tha floor and i sat down on tha floor and so were like some of tha otha girls, mr pung only looked at us as if we were mad, thak gawd tha rest of tha class go out already... man, i think dat was tha best laugh i ever had... tha abu one comes in second... hahah.. gawd... i miss those days... i dunt think i'll ever forget emre.. for a moment, we all crazy and juz having pure fun... nuthin else on our minds... :) i went to watch mean girls today wit rosliana and maz and yana, its a total girlie movie, there were guys in tha cinema tho, shocking... it was really funnie... very funnie.. hahah typical girlie movie uh... juz a kinda unsatisfying ending, it was okay, but could have been better... and one question ,left unanswered.. dats bout it... hahha... i liked it a lot tho, i love tha way she dresses, tha skirts she got, she got dis really nice 3/4 physcadellic one.. gorgeousss.. haha. and their handbags were tha cutest, man i need money to buy all these crap.. hahha...i feel so... fashion victim-ish, ma clothes already limited cuz of reasons and its like, sometimes he looks so good and i feel so, undeserving? hahah like, he's too good for meh, and i saw so many bloody good looking gerls at tampines juz now, all in skool uniform and all but u cant help feelin inferior... look at who i had to grow up wit, ma sis who is like nufking gorgeous... and yana.. everybody noes her cuz she tall and she has freckles... fer meh... its tha gurl wit tha big breasts. its not a bad thing, i juz hate it, i hate bein known as tha girls wit tha huge jugs... its like, ther's more to me den boobs yunnoe. dats all people ever notice, ma body... nobody really cares bout anthin else... as grateful as i am fer havin em, i also hate tha attention i get fer em, i cant use a sling bag without some apek lookin at mah boobs and commenting out loud dat i have big boobs... its soooo sickening, as grateful as i am fir wat i have, i also hate it... when ur surrounded wit yana and sheena, u feel invisible... and mah best frens are all gorgeous also... maria. no need to say, she's so funky and outstanding cuz she tha tallest, syaf has always been tha ladylike+funky also one.... mai has always been tha cute and gorgeous one dat talks non stop, she can talk to anyone... nufail is beautiful... she tha chinky lookin one so she definately stands out and she's maddd and she's tha one evrybody juz loves, guys and gerls alike... im juz tha one wit tha boobs... its hard to explain how i feel.. people think they understand but they dont, i have confidence... i do... sometimes its sky high, other times i juz feel crappy... sometimes people try to cheer me and and they seem so insincere, i noe ther's nobody i shhould count on to feel good bout maself, i need tha confidence to be able to not care wat people think.. but as long as i keep bein compared, it sucks, ma relatives think im older den ma sister... they look at her and they're like, cantik nyeeeeee den they look at me and juz smile... like OKAY! i geddit... i dunt wanna talk bout dis anymore. feel so invisble. unnoticed. unknown. unwanted. ouh and i think ma sis found tha speakers... hafta look for tha adaptor now, den i can download songs again. i can cry juz by tha thought of it, bein able to listen to tha songs i want~ so many many songs i wanna hear~ ohhh gawdddddd... i need it to be werkin badly, when i feel fucked up, i noe i got music, dats one thing dat actually does make sense, puts u in any mood u wanna be in... music juz soothes tha soul... all u need is music, it can evoke so many feelings in juz one song one voice dats juz touched u deep within, stirs up an emotion, dats wat i love bout it. u can never go wrong wit music. its life. it brings people togetha. it gives u hope. hahha okay, enuff bout it i guess... haha... laters y'all... *feelin kinda crappy* :( peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:12 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
spiderman 2, again again
wokays, its wednesday but i'll write in fer yesterda and toda.. today was soooo boring uh... sulaiman didnt come to skool today... saw ella and sjykin and aisyah, they came to skool, was nice to see them again! hahah... havent see in so long... den i had adrt den i go for tuition, den i came home... dat was ma bloody boring day today... yesterday man was like, askin bout how spiderman 2 was and all... so i was sayin its good and all den he was like, eh wana watch? haha and evrybody was like, yeah... so i wa slike, eh, i watch already~ den man was like, i belanje u uh... wahah so i got to watch spiderman 2 AGAIN! sadly, it wasnt as good tha second time round, watch it once! hahah, me and man were fallin asleep in tha theatre... wahaha, tha copa america timing damn fucked up uh~ wtf!!! *GO BRAZIL!!!!* haha sorry, back to yesterday... den afta dat they all dunnoe wat to do, so i called yana, her fren got free tix, like 18 free tix so she also watched again at tha same place and at tha same time as meh, so cool ryte? haha sucha coincidence, niwae den she and hannan wanna go parkway so we took 15 uh... so we sat at tha back in tha middle den i wa slike okay, cuz they were biting each otha and all... so i moved to tha otha end, den hannan was like, been, sit here uh.. i was like, no uh... den skali i was lookin out tha window juz thinkin and all den i saw dis like cute guy at tha bus stop.. i was like, ouhhh, skali he also look at me yunnoe...i was like, whoa.. skali he like looked up properly, it was SUHAIRI! hahah funnie, den i was like eh! so i sms him, den yana heard me say suhairi, she call him, waste ma time sms-ing him... hahah so ask his soccer finish already and watever den adam met him so i was like wokays, u guys take care and i see ya soon~ hahah, like damn weird... i talked to hippie aka SME last nyte, heheh, afta so long, bet he sleepin now... :( no contact at all today~ i sms no reply! ugh! like fineeee~ hahha...ma thoughts are so jumbled up ryte now, i have so many songs i wanan put down in herre but its like, too many... hahah, so sentimental summore, wahaha, so me ryte? so emo... ryte, like watever sabreena.. i'll remember wat i wanan write later... haiyoh, i want himmmmm... wahahha, if he ever reads dis he'll freak, im like fullacrap now wokays... like i need to crap, fer real... so fuck it all and i dunnoe why but we have rugby tmrw, happy sha la la, hope tha rugby coasch dunt teach, please be ms lim! please please please.. i seriously doubt it tho.. :( so used to her... arghhh and a lot a lot of irritating people innit! i was like bloody mf uh! spoil tha game uh i swear, thank gawd ros is in, if noooooooooot... kk wanna shit now... laters people.. peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:09 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
rewind...
okay yesterday was great! haha and i didnt meet him.. cuz of tha rain and all.. wasnt dat sad uh, i was at first, den adam ask if wanna go simpang, den he called suhairi down, i met suhairi ferst den we went to meet adam... went ther got adam's frens... tha one dat he told i was his younger sister, they believed for a while uh... funnie... so afta dat we took 14, wanted to go queensway cuz suhairi wanted to buy soccer boots, den at katong ther adam's fren called him, said he had a lil problem and needed adam's moral support (wokays, mac juz sms me, said study hard and have a nice day wth?) so we all went, i me some of his frens, i like farouk... he juz gave a good ferst impression, he came he saw me and he didnt ignore me, he smile, shook ma hand and asked fer ma name... good grip... so yeah... we met rawdah also... :X hahah wateer dats supposed to mean? she's nice uh, his fwens are all nice people... wat happened to him man? hahah... afta dat we went to queensway... ther was dis maroon soccer boot... nufking nice!!!! suhairi bought tha blue one, very tha nice but tha maroon one was juz... wow, den adam say he wanna buy... hahah... but its soooo nice, i noe its $123 and suhairi's one is $104 even tho its tha same thing, juz diff colour... niwae, i really had loadsa fun wit tha both of em... miss hanging out tha 3 of us... if yana and nufail were there it be fun too... we havent forgeoteen u babe... we can always go simpang togetha wokays, tha 3 of us, u had skool today uh, if not we'd definately ask u ryte... hahha i should stop blogging and get ready fer skool now but all i need are ma socks... gawd, i would have died if coundt blog... i dunnoe wat i would do without dis thang... ma sis say i forget bout her when i meet ma fwens, her fwens almost anytime can meet, adam and suhairi and me.. so damn rare, when will they get an off day from soccer again u tell meh... so depressing, back to skool, me and su were like, ughh, so dunt wanna go back to skool man... haha, did i say suhairi is sucha sweetheart... seriously... total... hahah... i dunnoe wat else to say cuz im scared one of ma parents will come out soooo yeah... gawd, ma mom opened tha door and ma dad let out one looooooong loud fart man... wahah... wokays...gtg now i guess... as mucha s i dunt wanna. 3 periods of accounts today, can sleep, and 3 periods of history, hafta stay awake... haha.. felicia betta come to skool, if not i will die man.. dunnoe how i'll saty awake without her... hahah.. okay okay.. i hafta go for tuition later..
:( oh well. fer ma own good... 4 more months... i hafta werk harder man... poly. poly. poly. ugh. i ca do this... wokays people, sayonara, wish me a good day... laters.. skool :( peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:40 AM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, July 05, 2004
shyte~
i went for tuition, ma mom sent me all tha way ther in a cab, sklai got nobody ther! bloody hell! i sms ma teacher he was like ouh, sorry, i didnt check wit mr tan if he was gonna be in earlier, i can only come later, he ask me to go and take ma lunch ferst, like wtf~ i wa slike wokays, tawt id go home uh, den sklai, iw ent to tha 229 bus stop i uz sms him and said id go tmrw uh, even if i went today i'd be like leavin at 3, cuz i hoped he would call me and we would meet up.. so i went home and here i am, and he did call... he juz sounded unhappy... asked if wanna meet, like did he hafta ask again? but it was as if he were obliged to meet me, i noe he'd rather go home and sleep, dats wat he made it sound like... like its an obligation... if he didnt wanna den fine yunnoe... i noe he's busy and he needs rest... im also scared he'll suddenly tell me later dat we should juz stay as we were before... it would be good cuz we're not togetha niwae and i cant imagine him wit somebody else.. it'd hurt, i mean i noe tha chances are high and im kinda prepared but never really prepared yunnoe? like when your loved one steps into a car u take for granted dat tha person will come back and tha person noes dat u love em... yunnoe there's a chance tha person may not come back but u hope to think optimistically... but when it happens, even tho u knew there was that chance you are never really prepared, like how a cancer patient may tell tha his loved ones he's dyin and dat he's ready to go but when it happens, he wont be ready to go and tha people around him wont be able to let go altho they knew it was comin... smthin like dat... we gonna go eat, den im gonna meet ma sis i think... i knew he woundt wanna go down to town... it would have been a nice suprise if he actually wanted to follow me, looks like its gonna rain... was kinda drizzling juz now...ma lil bro bought me sprite ice.. sucha sweetheart... at least i noe im seriously surrounded by people i love amd dat love me too... except for him, i dunnoe wat he feels or thinks... i hate uncertainty... and im uncertain... yesterday, smthin peter parker said kinda got to me, i dunt remember exactly but it was smthin like, dont i deserve to be happy? i ma happy wit him.. i guess its tha whole xpecting too much thang, i noe if i expect, nuthin's gonna happen, u juz cant help it, its human nature, mrs jonoh's favourite song playin om perfect 10 now... mariah carey and busta rhymes, i forgot tha title, tha baby if u give it to me i'll give it to u song, im sure after i publish dis post i'll remember... wahahha leavin in an hour's time... 12 days... dats tha longest so far, wat am i supposed to do... so confused... * so girl tell me watcha see, wanna see me get down on ma knees, wanna hear me begging baby please, wanna hear me begging for mercy, oh girl, i wish i knew ur world, i think im losing ma head over u* i should change it ti oh boy shoundt i? hahah well, let tha song be... wait later when i get anotha thought i'll blog again. like no life, keep blogging only.. its ma only outlet... i shall blog again tonyte, write down wat did or did not happen... im trynna not expect anythin...12 days... how am i not supposed to not expaect anythin? and i look so blotchy and horrible wokays... no shock if he tells me hes in love wit some gurl or smthin, ok maybe im bein paranoid, we're nt even togetha, we're not gonna ever be togetha, so as wat sukhpreet says, enjoy it while you can and give it ur all... its better to have loved den to have never loved at all... gawd...well.... i guess i should be trynna do smthin to unblotch ma bloody face and its gonna bloody rain... noooooooo~ please no rain.. why does it hafta rain today? why of all days today? wat have i done todeserve this kinda punishment? drama uh, noooooooooo why does evrythin juz hafta fuck up man, fuck it fuck it fuck it, when he finally has time for me, it fucks up, who noes, maybe it'll be romantic *trynna be optimistic herre* who tha hell am i kiddin! ma hair will fuck up and evrythin else will follow, cuz i feel crap when ma hair is fucked up and if i look like crap, im usin nufail's brown skirt *thanks babe~* and a white giordano top and gonna use ma havainas slippers...i hope tha rain clouds pass... or rain now but dunt rain later... juz dunt spoil ma day... ouhh damnn, stop complaining and be grateful dat ur meetin him today, even if for a while... ouh gawd loadsa horrible thought runnin thru ma mind now... ma grandma juz called from ma neighbours house... had to bring all tha clothes in and hang em inside, dat took like 10 mins and ma arms are like, whoa, even ma fingers... wtf man... hahah... bloody hell tha damn rain uh and its like.. not heaby rain yunnoe, so dat means it'll like last longer ... i shall not complain. i shall not complain. i shall count mma blessings... 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9... get tha pic? hahah im maddd wokays sorry be signing off now, tata y'all.. peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:04 PM| 0 Butterflies
spiderman 2 again~
ohhhhmaaaagawdddddddd, spiderman 2 was like an AMAZING movie! seriously! it was soooo good, so many funny moments, shocking ones dat had me jumping outta ma seat and those sweet emo moments at which of course, in true sabreena fashion i cried at those sweet parts, esp at tha end... whoa... best frens and all... and so many people saw him without his mask... so cannot wait for spiderman 3, but its supposedly comin out on 2007~ so damn lambat! ugh! hahah... portugal lost bloody hell! 1-0! bloody hell greece!
today goin fer tuition.. but i dunnoe if i can go early, ma tuition teacher neva sms me back... but i heck cuz im metin him today~ he sms me at like gawd noes wat time den ask and i dunnoe how come i wake up, so i was like i want i want i want! hahah, like haloooooo, 12 days.. but im so scared dat he'll cancel last minute, but he's never done dat before, but ther's no tellin ryte? damn damn damn, waitin fer his call... i noe wat time he finish skool uh but... argh, tha suspense is killin meh, i wanna go buy adam's bdae pressie and check some stuff out but i doubt he want to go down to town.. so afta i meet him i myte meet ma sis uh... and i found tha candle, so damn cacat! so spoiled man~ wtf!! so pissed! i wanna watch spiderman2 again! so good! harry osbourne is nufking hot, i mean yeah, peter parker also hot uh but harry osbourne, whoa~ tha curly hair and tha lips, i loike his lips... yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy lips... ouhhhh baby~ hahah wokays gotsta go getready fer tuition now :( hope time passes fast, he betta call meh! gawd if we dunt meet up... :( this feelin in meh is killin mehhhhh.. wahah and i had a good chat wit shikin and aiysah, miss em much~ hahah, i hope u guys come to skool on wednesday! wanan see u guys, bet sulaiman would be happy to see u guys too! hahah laters y'all... peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:26 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, July 04, 2004
spiderman 2
im gonna be watchin spiderman 2 at plaza sing at 11.40 later wit ma family, afta dat, can watch portugal vs greece, i sooooooooooooo hope portugal wins*GO PORTUGAL!* watchin one leg kicking now... kinda sweet show uh~ missin him bad, 12 days *when will i see you again?* hahah weird... i dont remember wat i wanted to say now... haha so distracted.. should have followed ma parents to simpang yesterday, adam went, could've met him... hahaah and i think me and ma mom are goin jogging at ecp tmrw morning, i need it, so fucking fat now, forever boncit man~ i hate tha feeling! ugh~ feelin kinda crappy uh now and adnan rosliana's ex has frenster... wait til i tell her... his pics all of him and his sis, tey very close uh.. sweet... but very jack and jackie man both of em... k, i think i wanna. go do smthin else uh, i rememeber smthin, im pissed cuz somebody took ma candle~ tha one i bought yesterday, it may have fell, cant find it tho, i hope i can find it. bloody mf uh... and fandi ahmad's son joined home united, ma bro's team... hahah cool i guess... but im still sad, somebody saveeeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeehhhhhhh.. ahha wokays im weird yeah yeah yeah, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |9:23 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, July 03, 2004
today~
i have so much to say... gawd, dunt i always niwae? haha... well... had ma listening today, was tricky.. i think i made a few mistakes, bloody hell... den afta listening, me, man, faisal, syidi and hafiz went to tha airport to eat... den we went to coffee bean and hafiz belanje me! so bloody sweet i tell u! i was so touched, he was like, u want or not? i was like, uh, y u wanna belanje? he was like, ya lah, but u only uh.. haha cuz not enough money, but i was so touched, hafiz is usually tha crude joker.. haha... went home den follow ma mom and sis to parkway, bought some stuff, there's dis shop, eye site and anotha one, they have nufking funky specs! its NUFKING funky~ and also expensive uh... $90, i dunnoe bout tha ones wit tha cute designs on em... i want i want i want, ma mom said go jb and buy, cheaper, damn thoses people goin into malaysia today, i could have gotte em~ and we gonna watch spiderman2 tmrw... gonna try and go and buy adam's shirt tmrw, wanna check out havainas, ma aunt said got tha brasil slippers, i asked adam if he want to to check it out fer him, he said like bloody jamban slippers... wahaha.. so bad, i still like... and i bought dis candle at parkway juz now, one for him and one me and ma sis shared fer ma mom... its really cool uh~ and i had dis really freaky dream dis morning, bout fique, in case anybody who's readin dis dunnoe who fique is, he is like dis nufking gorgeous guy, like tha gorgeousest ive ever seen~ seriously... he won tha usher competition on perfect 10 a few years back and he's in bona fide now wit dis otha guy, mark(he's REALLY nice!) haha niwae, fique looks A LOT like adam, or adam looks a lot like fique, watever, but fique has dis like x-factor, dat guy is OOZING sex appeal... maybe in a few years adam will also, fique's 23 dis yr... so adam has 6 more years to go... wokays, so fique's gorgeous, funnie, nice, can singgg(like usher+pharrell) and baby can he move! gawd.. SEXAYYYY! woooo~ hahah, so its was a totallly weird dream which context may be a lil too... much fer mah blog, nufail u can call me and ask me if ur readin dis and wonderin wat i dreamt bout, i mean it will never happen lah, he's too much of a nice guy... but like so weird, all of a sudden dream of him... ahaha and i saw yana's ex boyfwen, Reza 'metrosexual fernandez' hahah.. he remembered me, ans i was shocked, we didnt talk uh, juz kinda waved at each otha kinda thang... hahah, bout Him, i realise whenever i see smthin i think of him den i wanna buy it fer him... i seriously doubt he does dat too... but like when i see his favourite sweet, i think of him, when i see those colours i think of him, when i see anythinto do wit his passion i think of him, and juz now i went body shop den ma sis juz made me smell dis deodarant thang and it was his smell.... so him... and i was juz tellin him a few days ago i missed his smell, and ther was tha deodarant... i coundt stop smellin it, and ma mom was like, why u 2 lookin at guys deodarant? haha... was good to smell, would be better if i were smelling him tho... 12 days.. i think i hafta count... wokays it be 12 on sunday... so since its saturday now its 11 days, one more hour to 12 lah... haha wokays... i wroe dis poem like ages ago... im not freaky wokays!! haha dunnoe wher dat came from... :)
Wat you mean to me
I see you in front of me
and i wonder how i got so lucky
i love your smile and smelting eyes
i love tha way you look at me
sometimes ma heart juz goes wild
you make me so happy
i'll never find anotha like you
you touched ma heart in a way no one else has
and i cant sleep tonight
without you knowing how much you mean to me
i wish i could make you see
wat an anazing person you are
gorgeous to ma eyes, beautiful to ma heart
you juz mean tha world to me
now u can say 'awwwww'
hahaha wokays, i dunnoe wat dat was bout
feelin confused, not confused
kinda mixed kinda feelings...
dunnoe uh... laters y'all
peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:41 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 02, 2004
help
i wanna get outta herre, i wanna get outta ma house... ma mom juz found out ma sis was gettin retained in year 2... and she went to see ma sister's lecturer...she was cryin a lot when she called ma sis, i feel horribleeee, ma bro also did shut fer his mid years, so did i but ma mom wasnt pissed, more on tha happy side, cuz she saw improvement i guess... ma sis said ma dad myte beat her up... im scared.. so scared, i wanna get out... ma grandma keeps nagging cuz ma bro only plays his playstation or watever, he never listens to any of us, so rude, he needs to wake up... he in primary , at dis rate he gonna fail hos psle. seriously... frustrated... i want it to be back to normal, i wanna be able to go home in peace, without feeling worried... so scared now... haiyoh... wanted to go get adam's birthday pressie tmrw, before i have no money but ma mom hasnt given me tha money for dis month... i dunnoe wat to do, i feel so lost... i saw hannan and joel and jasper juz now, hannan doin mechatronics in tp, joel mechatronics in sp, and i dunnoe bout jasper, i heard he failed his o's so i didnt ask, talk2 to em a lil uh... den i went to d pracical, chatted wit lisz yesterday, she's nice, a lil mad.. wokays. a lot mad, still scared sulaiman will get hurt... but he said he sunt really wanna be in a relationship, same as her so its like, phew thank gawd... i read him ma list yesterday, i dunnow why... at least he dunt think im freaky, it was long... tha thing he missed tha most was tha one i totally unexpected and i kept askin why dat and he sid cuz outta all tha rest, its tha most likely not to happen again, and i realised it was true, den it was so sad... dat was kinda wat started tha ball rollin between us... really sad, tha scared feelin is still haunting me. even afta writing dis... and greece won! wtf! portugal vs greece... GO PORTUGAL!!! hahha... they played tha opening game togetha if im not mistake, and they play tha final game, since portugal lost tha first game, its time fer revenge! mwahahah... and i found out dat christiano ronaldo got yellow card for taking off his shirt, think when he scored tha goal but i dunnoe, poor thing, why punish him for that amazing booodayyy.. whoa~ sexay man him... hahah okays im weird, tha feeling is still nagging me...scared.scared.scared. and nufail if u readin this, get well soon wokays! take care of ya tummy and watcha eat kays? love u woman and ma malay oral today so sucked... i was sooooo nervous, tha conversations was bad, it was like, man how do ya say dis in malay, i had tons of ideas running thru mah head juz how to put dem into werds in MALAY! ugh~ afta dis year, no more written malay, no more orals... thank tha lord above, hahha ma grandparents are squabbling now... when will dis end? when i be back safe in ma room, away from all this crap, somewher i can stay all day long... ugh... help. i wanna get out. and maz is finally back in skool, afta days of mc, ahe had high fever, miss her merepek-ness uh~ she got into trouble wit abraham cuz of her absentism, in tha end abraham talked to her and she cried, family stuff i guess, she satyin wit her dad now, in bedok, not stayin wit her aunt in sengkang anymore, her dad and stepmom is more understanding and im glad fer her, hpe she gets well soon, tmrw afta listening me ros and her wanna go long john's.. haha missed dat for over a month man :) i wanna go now, i dunnoe watever for... wat to do? im so tired... scared. :(
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:58 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, July 01, 2004
prata bom+sambal+teh-o peng...
i want prata bom! im craving for it!!! and sambal~ waaaaaaaa! craving for it... craving... i feel it in ma mouth, tha sweetness, tha butter-iness... so gooooood and of course wat is ma prata bom without tha teh o peng??? ahhhh dis is torture!!... and i lost ma confirmation slip, i hafta look for it if not i gotta ask ma parents to write a letter, like wtf man~ havent written ma compo.. thank gawd mrs kow like wokays.. wahah, thanks to ma fullofcrap reasons... heheh... ma nenek wanna make mee goreng now.. oh well... betta den nuthin and tha canteen got some new japanese food, oyako, its rice ad soup and eggs and chicken and seaweed... in a RED bowl! tha bowl very nice uh! tha chicken also nice, tha rest was okay lah, taste kinda like hospital+baby food... hahha and now, for pE we get to choose wat we wanna do, we had like 5 choices, volleyball, softball, badminton, touch rugby and pickle ball... like wtf, pickle ball, supposedly smthin like mini tennis and squash and badminton... no brainer on wat i choose, but its like 3 choices, if u dunt get 1st choice den u get 2nd... i choose softball fer second... they go by ur nafa test results.. so i can safely say im n rugby baby! yay! cuz i, yes i, tha oh so short sabreena askbal got gold... wahahha.. woohooo~ i miss rugby so damn much! so happy when i saw it bein offered, but they had soccer fer girls for tha sec 5 only uh... i dunnoe wat i would have choosen man... maybe soccer, cuz i never really played before and i have played rugby before.. so yeah.. wheee~ rugbyyyyy! hahah and this gurl i do not really like put rugby as 1st choice also, all follow fren... wtf... like, she of all people, more likely she be complaining bout her hair, cannot imagine em playin rugby uh! like irritating man! they dont have tha passion for tha game... i juz find it irritating uh, i dunnoe why... and portugal won! like woohoo! i think it be a portugal and czech republic showdown... i want portugal to win but wont be shockin if tha czechs win... they good... hahhaha, nufail.. get better soon wokays! you too sulaiman! dunnoe how to take care of yourselves, be like me, i havent been sick tha wholeeee year! dats ryte! hahah... and i got tuition later, dont really feel like goin, i dunnoe, hafta do english uh~ no damn mood....ma title's wat do u wanna do when you wanna relax.. listen to music, read a book... wat else uh? need one more point! and i hafta do 2 more colour schemes for art, tha heck care type uh, how to go tuition and i hafta do smthin fer oral... tmrw... me, malay o level oral. tmrw... freaky! yana took hers today, she said wasnt dso good, think she did well.. dat idiot... haha and yan wrote ma a testimonial... so sweet, under fiki's name but still, he messaged me and said he'll copy and paste it under his name later on... he must have been readin all ma testimonials and realised dat he hadnt written me one... haha and i have 90 over stestimonials... wahha, kembang uh~ hahah and i written down i think 57 reasons on why i _________- heheh, fill in tha blanks...hungry.. can smell tha mee goreng, ouh.. cook aready, wanna eat now.. bubbaiz y'all.. peace~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:50 PM| 0 Butterflies
clumsy!
clumsy me~ i accidentaly deleted tha most impt part of ma hp. ma folder~ wah lau! i was tryin ma best not to cry man~ shitttt... evrythin that meant smthin to me was ther, okay meant smthin and was private... i think i should juz shoot maself fer bein so clumsy... arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! i still remember loadsa stuff... but it aint ther... all thoses sms-es... i can definately never ever ever ever ever ever ever get dem back... somebody shoot me man~ yana and oblique picked me up from tuition.. so sweet... oblique's so hotttt... hahah but i still think he's hot even tho its like shit now, watever sabreena, tha whole idea of dis entry is to tell people im a bloody idiot who is nufking clumsy and i deleted a very impt part of ma life ryte now and nobody cares cuz nobody noes but still i wish i could kick maself... or shoot maself... ARGHHHH! sabreena u r sucha DUMBASS!!!!!!!!!
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
depressed.
i muz get dis off ma chest, tha gurl i was goin on about about sulaiman thang.. its ZUREEN! yesh! now y'all can tag me and join ma club bout how surreal it is fer her to like him... did i say they went out on sunday... man met her mom... and they go to and fro from skool togetha evryday, he waits fer her afta skool.. someone's in larveeee.. zureena and sulaiman, and i muz say, evryone's talkin in skool... seriously, its like evrybdy'd like, ey, wassup wit man and zureen uh? hahah... so yeah... told him to be careful... from wat he tells me she seems like a nice gurl, man was pissed wit me today cuz i didnt pass hom some stupid paper... SORRY! geeeeez. bitch uh u. stop bein so sensitive like me can? hahah... i think its kadir's bdae today... unless they joked when they told me their bdae... i went simpang wit ma family yesterday... tha new shop, tha sakura one.. tha western food is nufking good wokays, like, yummilicious.. expensive uh, but not like swensens kinda expensive... tha usual hawker place kinda expensive... hahahi had grilled fish wit lemon capers... not bad, tha fish aand chips ther much betta den tha one beside,,, and tha aglio olio pasta is like good... haha and i got adam's bdae pics... got dis group pic we took, tha ferst one evrybdy look nice and i look damn stupid and tha second one adam and peline a bit ter-cacat-ed... haha susu and yana look good also... i dunnow which pic to put on ma frenster... if i put tha one of me yana adam and aaron like weird cuz i dunt really noe aaron... and ma batik gonna finish soon! yay! mrs jonoh givin birth next monday.. so cool uh... hahah.. got tuition later. fuck, and yana has a new *ahem* fren. oblique. sucha hottie. i used to have a thang fer him too... i hope they do get togetha uh~ im jealous, evrybody has somebody, and they're all damn hot. heez. wtf is tha world coming to man? hahha, good fer em uh okay lah, i wanna go try not be depressed... wahah... im weird, i noe~ peace y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |8:10 AM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, July 26, 2004
adam's birthday!!!
i usin dis colour bcuz adam loike dis colour and dis entry is dedicated fer his bdae... which is actually today so happy birthday sweeetieeeeee!!! and we celebrated wit him yesterday... was much much fun! haha... met him and susu at 2.. nufail coundt come cuz she had to look afta hasyir... :( so spoiler... but ther's always next year.. or ma bdae or urs babe.ah so i was a lil late... haha and i passed adam his bdae pressie which im confident (cheyyyy) dat he loves, cuz if he dunt i smack him upside down... haha its tha love machine shirt and a candle uh~ he changed staright away in tha bus... he looked hott yesterday! *wheet* (ive got no idea wat dats supposed to be.. whistle i guess) den look for his slipper... nice.. caramel-ish kinda colour.. nice man! haha and den he bought 2 cd's~ portishead! glory box! i LOIKE!!! arghh! and fenz ferendand.. i think dats how u spell it... den we chill at mc cafe... we did part 2 of our video wit suhairi's camera... part 1 done in tha bus uh... hahah tha 2 of em uh, really crack me up like hell uh... dats all i can say... tha whole we are at,MC CAFE thang and channel 5 switch to suria and okay nobody undersatnds except tha 3 of us... wait i muz add smthin AHAKZ!!! dats fer susu..... hahahahah... i cannot stop now.... shit... so yeah, we were gonna go to simpang den adam decided to wanna play tha virtual soccer game.... den we took a cab to simpang.. i muz say, tha cab ride was definately fun... dunnow if susu felt tha same... hahah... grec *winkz* its between tha 3 of us uh~ simpang was like probably tha most fun... i met peline.. she's so sweet lookin and she sooo nice and bubbly! seriously! we had some good chats.. hahah and... sheena, yana, syaheed, yasz and prem... ma parents and ma bro came halfway... ma mom almost had a heart attack when she saw me in tha skirt... haha... ma dad only ask bout it later uh... he wasnt really pissed *phew* so me and peline went to look fer cake and ma parents came and den, he was like, who's tha birthday boy? den he shook adam's hand and all... freaky... haha i wish i had seen it man~ damnnnn! hahah...we both came back empty handed but knowing wher to buy tha cake since aaron wasnt ther yet and evrybody was still kinda eatin uh.. so we went agian to buy and bought candles and all, and mind u it was tha pathetic sara lee cake.. chocolate uh... hahah.. me and peline got like waxed by tha wax a few times and it was kinda falling all over tha cake, so when she came back wit tha lighter cuz she forgot it earlier, aaron was ther aready... so adam didnt realise we were coming wit tha cake til we got to tha table... tha look of gratitude on his face when he saw ha cake and when he out on tha love machine shirt on tha bus is smthin i dunt think i shall be forgetting anytime soon.. that look... makes u feel so goood... cuz u can tell he really appreciated it... i really had fun yesterday... and i borrowed his belt cuz tha skirt was too damn big... i love ya man~ haha i dunnoe wat i would have done if i didnt have tha belt... ma parents were already freaked cuz it was short, imagine if they saw ma butt crack along wit it... wahahha.. so thank u adam's levi's belt~ haha and its still wit me... i shall hold it ransom til i get tha portishead cd! hahah no lah im not dat evil.. *grinz* kk enuff... i juz had fun uh yesterday... :) thanks all u guys who made it special... and to da special ass evrybody juz cant help lovin. happy birthdat sweetie.. thanks fer evrythin... :)
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, July 24, 2004
sick
im sick. fucked up. i had runny nose yesterday. den in tha morning it was like damn horrible but i managed to get like 3 hours of sleep b4 skool so i still went niwae... cuz of art.. i tell u during malay it was like damn fucked up... i took a cab home. cannot tahan already. i went home and slept man.. tried to uh~ nufail called, asked if i were still in skool cuz she wanted to take her o level cert.. sorrie babe~ and den he called. i was like, omg~ hahah... ferst thing he said was lunch? i like wanted to cry. i was sick.. bad headache and ma throat hurt, i kept coughing, ma nose was soooo runny... i was like... i cant im sick and he was like, u okay? i was like.. ??? he sounded concerned... i was kinda touched... he called me at nyte... he was like, y didnt u wanna go eat wit me and i was like, of course i did.. id have loved to but i was feeling very crappy... he was like ouh... said he didnt go to skool den he woke up he was like, hmmm i hafta meet sabreena today before i do anythin. i wanna meet her. tha ferst thing he did was call me *meltz*... so pissed at ,maself fer bein sick man.... i miss him... :( nvm... i'll see him soon i guess... *cross ma fingers* niwae im feelin a little betta now... no more fever... havent been sick tha whole year til today... so spoiler... i shoundt have gone skool today man, i juz didnt wanna tell ma mom i was sick... den hafta go doctor, like so malas. and i was watching operah winfrey and cryin... her 50th bdae... fucking amazing... speechless man... its like FUCKING to tha MAX amazing wokays! if i had dat much dough also id do dat uh... she's soooooo loved... hahah wokays... but still, dat as THE MOST, HAPPENING birthday ever! haha... adams birthday on monday... he wants to play soccer on sunday... haha... dat boy uh... he's really becoming damn gorgeous i tell u... i doubt he'll ever read dis but adam, i love u!! haha... thanks 4 always bein sucha bitch... hhaha... stop growing gorgeouser and gorgeouser!!! he looks like fique... but somehow... he's hotter now... hahah i dunnow uh... i hafta see fique to let him gorgeousness hit meh... hahah, i guess we'll all be seein him on singapore idol.. and for all u people out ther, he's totally NOT arrogant okays~ he's very tha nice... he's tha guy who started calling me lil fairy.... i'll never forget dat man... one of tha most gorgeousest guys ever said i looked like a fairy.. i was tellin him how evrybody said i looked like a rat and he juz looked at meh and was like, nawwww man, u look like a fairy, dunt she look like a lil fairy? hahah... too bad he so... mature? haha 23.. :( haha and im tellin u he can bloody sing and booooooy can he move... so smooth... yummy! hhah okay im mad... sorrie... laters y'all and nufail... i larveeeeeeeeee u~ hahah ;p
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:15 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 23, 2004
geylang vs tampines vs tuition
hellllpp mehhh~ i dunnoe wat to do! sulaiman gave me tix to tha geylang vs tampines match tonyte... he got em from mr roskhaider, cuz man got tha highest score for softball...i dunt think im goin uh, too much of a rush, id really love to see tha both of em.... havent hung out in a long time uh tha 3 of us... and racial harmony day was fun, siew ling looked NUFKINg good in her kimono.. she and anisa won best dressed.. and 2 otha guys, and mr low won best dressed male teacher...
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and you'll never guess who likes sulaiman~ i shall not say tha name but like ohmagawd!!!!!!!!!!! seriously, all bcuz of tissue... wtf, never pick up tissue for a gurl., suhairi smart, but so ungentlemanly, said he wont pick up tissue for me if it fell... wat tha hell.. man man, why u sucha sweetie uh? hahah and dat furl asked of we were togetha, me and man.. and she like soooo.. dunnow uh... haha not his type uh... snap fingers only one long queue of guys... dats y i told man, she be tha bitch, not u... wahahh, but at least she likes him, proves she does have some taste uh... hahah... niwae, u pple muz be thinkin wat tissue shyte? well, she started notcing him cuz dat time they were on tha same bus and she was sitting in front of him and her tissue fell so man picked it up fer her... so sweeeeet ryte? hahah wth... its like weird man... but cool.. we were jokin ard bout playin ard wit her but i noe he wont... he's a good boy *puke* hahha kiddin, he's mah babe man~ and he had lisz.... he's pickin her up today... dont do anythin i woundt do man~ hahah gawd sick... yeah well... and when am i gonna get tha cd? and when am i gonna get tha diary x thang? when man when? geeeez, i wonder how u put up wit sucha demanding bitchy best fren like me... haha and me and faisal were makin fun of him sayin when man picked up tha tissue fer her and like passed it to her it was like a mohabbatein moment, can juz imagine tha leaves swirling around... wahah... okay okay, i shall stop makin fun of him and her... its juz fun... yunnoe i love ya man~
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hahah anddddd i had a fight wit him dat day... i am sensitive uh, like wat adam and nufail said... yeah yeah yeah, i geddit wokys, im werkin on it lah... and he said he miss mehhh... *weeeettt* hahah madness cuz i didnt wanna call him yesterday cuz i thouht like evryday i call him wait he get like so sick of meh, den ard 11+ i went to sleep. den he called at 12... i was like? he put on stupid2 voice and i was hopin it was him but i didnt really dare hope if ya get ma drift... he was like why u neva call, i told him uh, evryday i call u, wait u get sick of meh.. he was like wat tha hell u talkin bout... den he said he woundt have called me also but he missed me *awwwwwwww* hahha im kerazee...
p.s nufail : tha one i told u i like and dis one different uh~
yeah niwae, back to it... i miss him toooooo, alot uh... sick i tell u...i never thought a guy could get ma attention fer dis long... wahah...
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i had rugby today, at tha basketball court as usual cuz we had no wher else to go since tha fied is under construction or dunnoe wat crap... den tha coach extend fer like 20 mis or so den i saw adam walkin to tha skool bus stop... i was like so happy to see him, or wat i could see of him... cannot really see... so i was like standing up while tha coach was talkin den when he dismiss us i was like walkin to tha otha end of tha basketball court to wave at him... den he like juz nod, i wave again he juz nod... arse... hahha so happy to see him den he spoiler.... hahah... his bdae coming... 26 july... i got present for him! so unbelieveable... meetin him on sunday to pass it to him... got suprise fer him...wahahah.... hope he likes it.. he betta uh dat beeyotchh! hhaha k lah laters pple~ peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |8:30 AM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, July 17, 2004
i wish
nothing makes sense anymore.
i feel as if life is meaningless.
someone give meaning to mah life.
im about to be sucked up into a blackhole.
somebody save me.
will anybody hear ma plea.
even if u do.
you cant make it right.
even he cant make it right.
ive been so wronged.
in a way even i dont understand.
he's there, ryte in front of mah face.
yet he's so unreachable.
i could stretch out ma hand and hold him.
i wanna hold him close.
feel his heart beating.
but its juz wrong.
cuz u 2 are perfect for each other.
it kills me.
but its true.
wish i could make her see.
ur life would be perfect.
you'd be happy.
and i juz wanna see u happy.
i wish i could see you happy
lookin at me tha way u look at her.
maybe its juz me.
ur bond is something i cant break.
im juz second to her.
maybe even third.
maybe not even on tha list.
maybe watever u've said,
is juz to make me feel better.
i miss u so fucking much.
i think i love you even more.
but who am i to define love.
especially since you dont love me,
not tha way i love you.
i wish for once i could hold you.
and know dat u are mine.
and dat all u want is me.
i wanna look in ur eyes.
and see tha love.
this started cuz i wanted to help you.
i wish i didnt feel dis way.
dissappointment wells up inside me
go away. please go away.
i wish i didnt feel dis way.
i wish u didnt make me so happy.
i wish u didnt promise me wat u did.
i wish i were wit now.
juz tha two of us.
chilling.
dat aint gonna happen.
stop bringing me up and den down again.
i wish. i wish. i wish.
maybe i wish i were juz dead.
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |3:30 PM| 0 Butterflies
fucked up~
halooooo.... finally this thang is werkin~ i think i geddit~ haha followed ma sis to tha doctor juz now, poor thing not feeling well, den hang out at home, didnt go to skool today, wanted to send ma mom off to bangkok but i didnt in tha end, woke up a lil too late, had time to juz say bye and give her a hug... met adam and nufail at simpang... was fun... walked nufail home den waited fer tha bus den so home.... i juz feel fucking fucked up... juz bloody fucked up.... fucked up like hell.. fucking fucked up. life is juz so fucked up, like yunnoe when ur looking forward like hell for smthin den you noe it'll turn out crappy... ugh.... FUCK IT ALLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckfuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, it isnt really helping... wats gonna make me feel betta? fuck lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh forgot it dunt help... fuck. coundt help it... ugh~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, July 15, 2004
long time
its been... 3 days uh? hmm.. tuesday, wednesday, today thursday.. okay 2 days... feel like its been much longer, i went out wit mai and maria and haikal on tuesayd nyte, gorgeous people! ugh~ haha and haikal's a sweetie uh, he really sincerely cares fer maria so im glad fer her uh~ and maria left early. meet her mommy.. so me and mai and haikal went to eat, went pastamania, juz felt like it uh~ so there me and mai were eatin our pasta, den ryte, i was like trynna shake tha dried chilli thang on ma pasta.. very tha pathetic come out uh.. so afta a while i got really irritated so i put down, den mai helped me... she was like shakin2 it den like pathetic ryte, so she go and try to unscrew tha cover, didnt werk uh obviously, so she went back to shaking, and b4 yunnoe it, tha whole bloody thing fell on mah plate!*thanks mai* hahah dat idiot! hahah it was funnie uh... we were all like laughing... hahha... it was a good week uh dis week, yesterday was a kinda crappy day... but when i got home i ponteng tuition to go out wit ma mom... she been feelin like im too busy fer her so i ponteng to go out wit her and spend some time wit her... den she goin bagkok tmrw also so i was like spend soe time wit her uh, den at nyte i had fun talkin to someone... hahah and i went ljs afta skool wit man, we were havin one bloody gooood talk so yeah, if it werent fer him i be feelin even crappier den ever... and ma skool myte be havin prom... they gave us survey form and all uh... nut today got like horrible "DIALOGUE" session wit that fat penguin wit bad attitude...i dunnoe uh... he so damn sweet now its so weird, but good. i love it...haha who wanna complain... i wanna seeee him... hehe. man can u start tha diary x thang fer meh soon please, im dyin herre uh~ hahah got tuition later, lame shyte, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:39 PM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, July 12, 2004
feelings dont go away overnight
watchin tha wade robson project, man tha gurls are goood! hahah boys... wth... well... skool today was kinda fun.. haha cuz mrs kow told me dat mrs mah was impressed wit me cuz of mah oral... waaahhooo! haha she said tha 2 darkest people did tha best...hahah nufker man... me and faisal kena... wahaha but we did well so, yeah, dats wat counts, she said ther was room for improvement but i was good. feel so happy! wheeeeee~ and i cabut art... i didnt bring ma batik to skewl, i forgot, wa sin a rush dis morning uh... haha thank gad jonoh never see meh... i told dem to tell her im not well ma sis come pick me up, it was raining so heavily afta skool. for tha ferst time they actually opened tha side gates... haha and thank gawd i brought an umbrella... so i was kinda ferrying people around uh... hahah... den tha bus stop was like bloody flooded and it was so full of people and tha gurks started SCREAMING and tha water was like splashed all around and evrybody's shoes and pants were wet, so it was really chaotic but fun den i stood on tha chair den tha otha gurl on tha chair told me dat a cockroach was crawling on some girl's leg... i noe how she feels man. EUGH! cockroach! haha... den in tha end we took cab. hafiz, me, man and shi wei... den shi wei wanted to get off at tanah merah wit man den i was sittin at tha end and he was like, how am i gonna go out? i was okay i stand up u slide over, den evrybody in tha cab looked den we started laughing so hard, tha possibility of shi wei sliding under me was like... hahah wokays dats mean i noe... shi wei got off wit us in tha end uh...
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went out wit nufail and aboooooooo yesterday, aboooo is actually ma uncle, he's in mjc now... he's younger den meh! okay by 2 months... but still! and his real name isnt aboooo, its subhan, but they call him aboooooo cuz alam(one of his frens) said dat he looked like tha aladdin monkey, abu... hahah but we call him abooooooo.. wahah, den we saw maria and maisarah at fish and co. we went to study at marine pareade library den went to eat at banquet, on tha way ther we stopped by fish and co. uh... talk2 and all den looked at stuff den we went bk study again, den mai came, she finish werk, so i went hime wit her.. man i love her~ hahah niwae, tuesday nyte we all gonna have dinner at raimah's... i told adam den he say go simpang uh... if he gonna be ther also nevermind... haikal, maria's new fren *winks* i dunnoe if its still frens or not uh.. haha, niwae he goin too. i met him yesterday but it was like hi kinda thing... he didnt seem to really like me so yeah... hahah and i have so many new zits! yalkz~ if i could get rid of 3 things in dis world, ferst would be pimples,den be hate and thirdly, discrimination... wahah...
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i noe i said i gotta leave him... i cant, there's too much ther.. i mean yeah we not togetha, it has its own pros and cons, we are too young to be tied down by one person and all dat.. too bad i'll think of anyone else... niwae, i kinda talked to him, bout i felt as if he were usin me and all... actually he took tha werds outta ma mouth, he was like, sab! how could u think i'd wanna do dat to u? tha last thing id wanna do is hurt you, den we were talkin bout thieves and all, he said he wasnt one, den i wa like, u are, den he was like, yea thief of hearts... haha i was like, yeah, u stole mah heart, give it back! den he was like yeah, before i give it back can i take a piece? or u take ma heart uh.. haha cuteness lah he... den i admitted dat i was jealous of some people and dat i kinda felt like i wasnt good enuff fer him, he was like, wat? why u think like dat? den he said he feels like he's not good enuff for meh.. haha, dats smthin dat really bein engraved in mah mind... hahah... like i soooo dont believe he didnt think he was good enuff fer meh.. i told him uh, i cant think of anyone else id rather be wit... i cant think of anyone better and he was like ther are so many betta guys out ther and all... hahah... fer now... i mean who noes bout tha future but fer now... i cannot think of anyone betta... i really cant... not even fique... hahah... den we were supposed to put down tha phone and i was like, okay, talk to yanext week den... den he was like, i'll try calling u more often den he told me to call him, i dunt dunt wanna call cuz im scared im disturbin him uh... and im scared i'll irritate him and we both get bored easily, so yeah.. haha okayyyy i shall stop.. i miss him... hahah madness yeaw~ blahhhh blahhh blahhhh, cant wait fer dinner tmrw... hope to see him soon man...wanna see him sooooooooon~ :P eugh! haha wokays, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:45 PM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, July 11, 2004
clothes
i went for ma eng prelim oral in tha morning~ crap! mrs mah said i cant get band 1 cuz i read too fast~ fuck. she said ma pic description and conversation was good uh~ faisal did so bloody good. i wish i could smack his face! haha, kiddin... suhairi ask me go watch their soccer match yesterday... i was thinkin of goin, but i was alraedy goin oyr wit syaf to buy adam's bdae pressie... and i could only meet her at 3 cuz i went felicia's house to do mah art... and i saw shikin's brother again yesterday... so i met syaf den we went lookin at clothes and all.. there were these 2 skirts, one pink and tha otha blue, tha blue one very tha osh-kosh-b-gosh-ish haha $32, tha pink one &27 uh, but i loooked horible in both, tha blue one no otha size, i think it would have been better if there was a bigger size uh... syaf supposed to meet boy but he wanted to sleep *gRRRRRRRRr* i wanted to buy this pais of big old skool sunnies, $10 only, but tha look on syaf's face... still wished i bought it tho... and i bought this green shirt, green and yellow, astro boy, like wtf.. haha. cute-ish i a weird way uh.. hahah syaf tried dis skirt, so nufking nice! and she looks so good i it.. so do i uh *winkz* she said i could borrow it anytime.. hahah its like NUFKINGGGGG nice! i loike it much much! im in lurveeee wit her skirt, if i had enuff money also i would have bought budden she wanna buy so could not have bought if u get mah drift... adam shirt was on sale, if not i could not have bought tha green shirt... but i think its gonna be big for him uh... shyte......... dieeeee, had to go thru so much trouble to get tha bloody dumb ass shirt, i was so scared no more. den dat afta i bought i saw dis old uncle usin tha shirt! wahahahha... so funnie! den friday at long johns wit ros got dis jc gurl usin adam's mambo shoes... got ma gurl than yesterday, evrybody is so bloody irritating! ma mom is pissed cuz im not spending enough time wit her, den today go play golf... wit mah dad... dunt feel like stayin at homeeeeeee.... aiyoh, i wanna call nufail uh... dat asshole also...i think by next week we'll be strangers aagin... i'll be nobody to him again... one thing i noe for sure, he'll never care for me tha way he cared for dem, he'll never cry for me tha way he cried for them, its a one way thing... i hafta be strong and get outta dis... i try and convince maself too, den i remember wat he said... tha promises he made... i cant keep doin this to maself, why should i love somebody who dont really care bout meh? how do i erase him from ma memory, how do we go back to bein juz frens, i dunt wanna go back to dat, he means so damn much to meh, he'll never noe dat... he'll never realise dat, even if we were back to bein frens who saw each otha by coincidence, he wont care, it would not make a difference to him... i feel like im nobody to him... he said dont think it wrongly he juz super busy, i dont ask him to meet me all tha time... a simple sms or call, show me you care. dats wat im askin for... maybe even dat is too much to expect uh. i saw adam's fren's adik and rawdah yesterady at heeren... tha rawdah he said was hot... hahah... i think i wanna go call nufail now, i havent spoken to her in absolutely ages! like whoa man~ hahah laters people... i shall go look at ma pathetic life and ponder on why is it dis way... Peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |12:01 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 09, 2004
mean girls~
yesterday was a boring day... went for tuition, did number patterns wit yi rong and shamini and zheng2 and yana... abu wrote qamal loves sheena in tha maths room, and ms hana saw and she told him to erase it, den he started laughing... and we started laughing, cuz his laughter so infetcious.... we were laughing so hard til our tummies cramped and we almost cried, i think ms hana did cry, i was on tha verge of cryin, lucky ms hana asked him to get outta tha class... if not we would not stop laughing, it was hysterical, it was tha kinda thing u had to be ther to find funny, like tha time maisarah and fateha started chating emre's last name, belozologlu wit tha dustpan and broom in physics when we were all in sec 3 ( i think nufail joined in too)... dat one was like nufaking funnie uh~ i think aiyah was rolling on tha floor and i sat down on tha floor and so were like some of tha otha girls, mr pung only looked at us as if we were mad, thak gawd tha rest of tha class go out already... man, i think dat was tha best laugh i ever had... tha abu one comes in second... hahah.. gawd... i miss those days... i dunt think i'll ever forget emre.. for a moment, we all crazy and juz having pure fun... nuthin else on our minds... :) i went to watch mean girls today wit rosliana and maz and yana, its a total girlie movie, there were guys in tha cinema tho, shocking... it was really funnie... very funnie.. hahah typical girlie movie uh... juz a kinda unsatisfying ending, it was okay, but could have been better... and one question ,left unanswered.. dats bout it... hahha... i liked it a lot tho, i love tha way she dresses, tha skirts she got, she got dis really nice 3/4 physcadellic one.. gorgeousss.. haha. and their handbags were tha cutest, man i need money to buy all these crap.. hahha...i feel so... fashion victim-ish, ma clothes already limited cuz of reasons and its like, sometimes he looks so good and i feel so, undeserving? hahah like, he's too good for meh, and i saw so many bloody good looking gerls at tampines juz now, all in skool uniform and all but u cant help feelin inferior... look at who i had to grow up wit, ma sis who is like nufking gorgeous... and yana.. everybody noes her cuz she tall and she has freckles... fer meh... its tha gurl wit tha big breasts. its not a bad thing, i juz hate it, i hate bein known as tha girls wit tha huge jugs... its like, ther's more to me den boobs yunnoe. dats all people ever notice, ma body... nobody really cares bout anthin else... as grateful as i am fer havin em, i also hate tha attention i get fer em, i cant use a sling bag without some apek lookin at mah boobs and commenting out loud dat i have big boobs... its soooo sickening, as grateful as i am fir wat i have, i also hate it... when ur surrounded wit yana and sheena, u feel invisible... and mah best frens are all gorgeous also... maria. no need to say, she's so funky and outstanding cuz she tha tallest, syaf has always been tha ladylike+funky also one.... mai has always been tha cute and gorgeous one dat talks non stop, she can talk to anyone... nufail is beautiful... she tha chinky lookin one so she definately stands out and she's maddd and she's tha one evrybody juz loves, guys and gerls alike... im juz tha one wit tha boobs... its hard to explain how i feel.. people think they understand but they dont, i have confidence... i do... sometimes its sky high, other times i juz feel crappy... sometimes people try to cheer me and and they seem so insincere, i noe ther's nobody i shhould count on to feel good bout maself, i need tha confidence to be able to not care wat people think.. but as long as i keep bein compared, it sucks, ma relatives think im older den ma sister... they look at her and they're like, cantik nyeeeeee den they look at me and juz smile... like OKAY! i geddit... i dunt wanna talk bout dis anymore. feel so invisble. unnoticed. unknown. unwanted. ouh and i think ma sis found tha speakers... hafta look for tha adaptor now, den i can download songs again. i can cry juz by tha thought of it, bein able to listen to tha songs i want~ so many many songs i wanna hear~ ohhh gawdddddd... i need it to be werkin badly, when i feel fucked up, i noe i got music, dats one thing dat actually does make sense, puts u in any mood u wanna be in... music juz soothes tha soul... all u need is music, it can evoke so many feelings in juz one song one voice dats juz touched u deep within, stirs up an emotion, dats wat i love bout it. u can never go wrong wit music. its life. it brings people togetha. it gives u hope. hahha okay, enuff bout it i guess... haha... laters y'all... *feelin kinda crappy* :( peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:12 PM| 0 Butterflies
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
spiderman 2, again again
wokays, its wednesday but i'll write in fer yesterda and toda.. today was soooo boring uh... sulaiman didnt come to skool today... saw ella and sjykin and aisyah, they came to skool, was nice to see them again! hahah... havent see in so long... den i had adrt den i go for tuition, den i came home... dat was ma bloody boring day today... yesterday man was like, askin bout how spiderman 2 was and all... so i was sayin its good and all den he was like, eh wana watch? haha and evrybody was like, yeah... so i wa slike, eh, i watch already~ den man was like, i belanje u uh... wahah so i got to watch spiderman 2 AGAIN! sadly, it wasnt as good tha second time round, watch it once! hahah, me and man were fallin asleep in tha theatre... wahaha, tha copa america timing damn fucked up uh~ wtf!!! *GO BRAZIL!!!!* haha sorry, back to yesterday... den afta dat they all dunnoe wat to do, so i called yana, her fren got free tix, like 18 free tix so she also watched again at tha same place and at tha same time as meh, so cool ryte? haha sucha coincidence, niwae den she and hannan wanna go parkway so we took 15 uh... so we sat at tha back in tha middle den i wa slike okay, cuz they were biting each otha and all... so i moved to tha otha end, den hannan was like, been, sit here uh.. i was like, no uh... den skali i was lookin out tha window juz thinkin and all den i saw dis like cute guy at tha bus stop.. i was like, ouhhh, skali he also look at me yunnoe...i was like, whoa.. skali he like looked up properly, it was SUHAIRI! hahah funnie, den i was like eh! so i sms him, den yana heard me say suhairi, she call him, waste ma time sms-ing him... hahah so ask his soccer finish already and watever den adam met him so i was like wokays, u guys take care and i see ya soon~ hahah, like damn weird... i talked to hippie aka SME last nyte, heheh, afta so long, bet he sleepin now... :( no contact at all today~ i sms no reply! ugh! like fineeee~ hahha...ma thoughts are so jumbled up ryte now, i have so many songs i wanan put down in herre but its like, too many... hahah, so sentimental summore, wahaha, so me ryte? so emo... ryte, like watever sabreena.. i'll remember wat i wanan write later... haiyoh, i want himmmmm... wahahha, if he ever reads dis he'll freak, im like fullacrap now wokays... like i need to crap, fer real... so fuck it all and i dunnoe why but we have rugby tmrw, happy sha la la, hope tha rugby coasch dunt teach, please be ms lim! please please please.. i seriously doubt it tho.. :( so used to her... arghhh and a lot a lot of irritating people innit! i was like bloody mf uh! spoil tha game uh i swear, thank gawd ros is in, if noooooooooot... kk wanna shit now... laters people.. peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:09 PM| 0 Butterflies
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
rewind...
okay yesterday was great! haha and i didnt meet him.. cuz of tha rain and all.. wasnt dat sad uh, i was at first, den adam ask if wanna go simpang, den he called suhairi down, i met suhairi ferst den we went to meet adam... went ther got adam's frens... tha one dat he told i was his younger sister, they believed for a while uh... funnie... so afta dat we took 14, wanted to go queensway cuz suhairi wanted to buy soccer boots, den at katong ther adam's fren called him, said he had a lil problem and needed adam's moral support (wokays, mac juz sms me, said study hard and have a nice day wth?) so we all went, i me some of his frens, i like farouk... he juz gave a good ferst impression, he came he saw me and he didnt ignore me, he smile, shook ma hand and asked fer ma name... good grip... so yeah... we met rawdah also... :X hahah wateer dats supposed to mean? she's nice uh, his fwens are all nice people... wat happened to him man? hahah... afta dat we went to queensway... ther was dis maroon soccer boot... nufking nice!!!! suhairi bought tha blue one, very tha nice but tha maroon one was juz... wow, den adam say he wanna buy... hahah... but its soooo nice, i noe its $123 and suhairi's one is $104 even tho its tha same thing, juz diff colour... niwae, i really had loadsa fun wit tha both of em... miss hanging out tha 3 of us... if yana and nufail were there it be fun too... we havent forgeoteen u babe... we can always go simpang togetha wokays, tha 3 of us, u had skool today uh, if not we'd definately ask u ryte... hahha i should stop blogging and get ready fer skool now but all i need are ma socks... gawd, i would have died if coundt blog... i dunnoe wat i would do without dis thang... ma sis say i forget bout her when i meet ma fwens, her fwens almost anytime can meet, adam and suhairi and me.. so damn rare, when will they get an off day from soccer again u tell meh... so depressing, back to skool, me and su were like, ughh, so dunt wanna go back to skool man... haha, did i say suhairi is sucha sweetheart... seriously... total... hahah... i dunnoe wat else to say cuz im scared one of ma parents will come out soooo yeah... gawd, ma mom opened tha door and ma dad let out one looooooong loud fart man... wahah... wokays...gtg now i guess... as mucha s i dunt wanna. 3 periods of accounts today, can sleep, and 3 periods of history, hafta stay awake... haha.. felicia betta come to skool, if not i will die man.. dunnoe how i'll saty awake without her... hahah.. okay okay.. i hafta go for tuition later..
:( oh well. fer ma own good... 4 more months... i hafta werk harder man... poly. poly. poly. ugh. i ca do this... wokays people, sayonara, wish me a good day... laters.. skool :( peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:40 AM| 0 Butterflies
Monday, July 05, 2004
shyte~
i went for tuition, ma mom sent me all tha way ther in a cab, sklai got nobody ther! bloody hell! i sms ma teacher he was like ouh, sorry, i didnt check wit mr tan if he was gonna be in earlier, i can only come later, he ask me to go and take ma lunch ferst, like wtf~ i wa slike wokays, tawt id go home uh, den sklai, iw ent to tha 229 bus stop i uz sms him and said id go tmrw uh, even if i went today i'd be like leavin at 3, cuz i hoped he would call me and we would meet up.. so i went home and here i am, and he did call... he juz sounded unhappy... asked if wanna meet, like did he hafta ask again? but it was as if he were obliged to meet me, i noe he'd rather go home and sleep, dats wat he made it sound like... like its an obligation... if he didnt wanna den fine yunnoe... i noe he's busy and he needs rest... im also scared he'll suddenly tell me later dat we should juz stay as we were before... it would be good cuz we're not togetha niwae and i cant imagine him wit somebody else.. it'd hurt, i mean i noe tha chances are high and im kinda prepared but never really prepared yunnoe? like when your loved one steps into a car u take for granted dat tha person will come back and tha person noes dat u love em... yunnoe there's a chance tha person may not come back but u hope to think optimistically... but when it happens, even tho u knew there was that chance you are never really prepared, like how a cancer patient may tell tha his loved ones he's dyin and dat he's ready to go but when it happens, he wont be ready to go and tha people around him wont be able to let go altho they knew it was comin... smthin like dat... we gonna go eat, den im gonna meet ma sis i think... i knew he woundt wanna go down to town... it would have been a nice suprise if he actually wanted to follow me, looks like its gonna rain... was kinda drizzling juz now...ma lil bro bought me sprite ice.. sucha sweetheart... at least i noe im seriously surrounded by people i love amd dat love me too... except for him, i dunnoe wat he feels or thinks... i hate uncertainty... and im uncertain... yesterday, smthin peter parker said kinda got to me, i dunt remember exactly but it was smthin like, dont i deserve to be happy? i ma happy wit him.. i guess its tha whole xpecting too much thang, i noe if i expect, nuthin's gonna happen, u juz cant help it, its human nature, mrs jonoh's favourite song playin om perfect 10 now... mariah carey and busta rhymes, i forgot tha title, tha baby if u give it to me i'll give it to u song, im sure after i publish dis post i'll remember... wahahha leavin in an hour's time... 12 days... dats tha longest so far, wat am i supposed to do... so confused... * so girl tell me watcha see, wanna see me get down on ma knees, wanna hear me begging baby please, wanna hear me begging for mercy, oh girl, i wish i knew ur world, i think im losing ma head over u* i should change it ti oh boy shoundt i? hahah well, let tha song be... wait later when i get anotha thought i'll blog again. like no life, keep blogging only.. its ma only outlet... i shall blog again tonyte, write down wat did or did not happen... im trynna not expect anythin...12 days... how am i not supposed to not expaect anythin? and i look so blotchy and horrible wokays... no shock if he tells me hes in love wit some gurl or smthin, ok maybe im bein paranoid, we're nt even togetha, we're not gonna ever be togetha, so as wat sukhpreet says, enjoy it while you can and give it ur all... its better to have loved den to have never loved at all... gawd...well.... i guess i should be trynna do smthin to unblotch ma bloody face and its gonna bloody rain... noooooooo~ please no rain.. why does it hafta rain today? why of all days today? wat have i done todeserve this kinda punishment? drama uh, noooooooooo why does evrythin juz hafta fuck up man, fuck it fuck it fuck it, when he finally has time for me, it fucks up, who noes, maybe it'll be romantic *trynna be optimistic herre* who tha hell am i kiddin! ma hair will fuck up and evrythin else will follow, cuz i feel crap when ma hair is fucked up and if i look like crap, im usin nufail's brown skirt *thanks babe~* and a white giordano top and gonna use ma havainas slippers...i hope tha rain clouds pass... or rain now but dunt rain later... juz dunt spoil ma day... ouhh damnn, stop complaining and be grateful dat ur meetin him today, even if for a while... ouh gawd loadsa horrible thought runnin thru ma mind now... ma grandma juz called from ma neighbours house... had to bring all tha clothes in and hang em inside, dat took like 10 mins and ma arms are like, whoa, even ma fingers... wtf man... hahah... bloody hell tha damn rain uh and its like.. not heaby rain yunnoe, so dat means it'll like last longer ... i shall not complain. i shall not complain. i shall count mma blessings... 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8...9... get tha pic? hahah im maddd wokays sorry be signing off now, tata y'all.. peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |2:04 PM| 0 Butterflies
spiderman 2 again~
ohhhhmaaaagawdddddddd, spiderman 2 was like an AMAZING movie! seriously! it was soooo good, so many funny moments, shocking ones dat had me jumping outta ma seat and those sweet emo moments at which of course, in true sabreena fashion i cried at those sweet parts, esp at tha end... whoa... best frens and all... and so many people saw him without his mask... so cannot wait for spiderman 3, but its supposedly comin out on 2007~ so damn lambat! ugh! hahah... portugal lost bloody hell! 1-0! bloody hell greece!
today goin fer tuition.. but i dunnoe if i can go early, ma tuition teacher neva sms me back... but i heck cuz im metin him today~ he sms me at like gawd noes wat time den ask and i dunnoe how come i wake up, so i was like i want i want i want! hahah, like haloooooo, 12 days.. but im so scared dat he'll cancel last minute, but he's never done dat before, but ther's no tellin ryte? damn damn damn, waitin fer his call... i noe wat time he finish skool uh but... argh, tha suspense is killin meh, i wanna go buy adam's bdae pressie and check some stuff out but i doubt he want to go down to town.. so afta i meet him i myte meet ma sis uh... and i found tha candle, so damn cacat! so spoiled man~ wtf!! so pissed! i wanna watch spiderman2 again! so good! harry osbourne is nufking hot, i mean yeah, peter parker also hot uh but harry osbourne, whoa~ tha curly hair and tha lips, i loike his lips... yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy yummy lips... ouhhhh baby~ hahah wokays gotsta go getready fer tuition now :( hope time passes fast, he betta call meh! gawd if we dunt meet up... :( this feelin in meh is killin mehhhhh.. wahah and i had a good chat wit shikin and aiysah, miss em much~ hahah, i hope u guys come to skool on wednesday! wanan see u guys, bet sulaiman would be happy to see u guys too! hahah laters y'all... peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |11:26 AM| 0 Butterflies
Sunday, July 04, 2004
spiderman 2
im gonna be watchin spiderman 2 at plaza sing at 11.40 later wit ma family, afta dat, can watch portugal vs greece, i sooooooooooooo hope portugal wins*GO PORTUGAL!* watchin one leg kicking now... kinda sweet show uh~ missin him bad, 12 days *when will i see you again?* hahah weird... i dont remember wat i wanted to say now... haha so distracted.. should have followed ma parents to simpang yesterday, adam went, could've met him... hahaah and i think me and ma mom are goin jogging at ecp tmrw morning, i need it, so fucking fat now, forever boncit man~ i hate tha feeling! ugh~ feelin kinda crappy uh now and adnan rosliana's ex has frenster... wait til i tell her... his pics all of him and his sis, tey very close uh.. sweet... but very jack and jackie man both of em... k, i think i wanna. go do smthin else uh, i rememeber smthin, im pissed cuz somebody took ma candle~ tha one i bought yesterday, it may have fell, cant find it tho, i hope i can find it. bloody mf uh... and fandi ahmad's son joined home united, ma bro's team... hahah cool i guess... but im still sad, somebody saveeeeeeeeeeeeee meeeeehhhhhhh.. ahha wokays im weird yeah yeah yeah, peace out y'all~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |9:23 PM| 0 Butterflies
Saturday, July 03, 2004
today~
i have so much to say... gawd, dunt i always niwae? haha... well... had ma listening today, was tricky.. i think i made a few mistakes, bloody hell... den afta listening, me, man, faisal, syidi and hafiz went to tha airport to eat... den we went to coffee bean and hafiz belanje me! so bloody sweet i tell u! i was so touched, he was like, u want or not? i was like, uh, y u wanna belanje? he was like, ya lah, but u only uh.. haha cuz not enough money, but i was so touched, hafiz is usually tha crude joker.. haha... went home den follow ma mom and sis to parkway, bought some stuff, there's dis shop, eye site and anotha one, they have nufking funky specs! its NUFKING funky~ and also expensive uh... $90, i dunnoe bout tha ones wit tha cute designs on em... i want i want i want, ma mom said go jb and buy, cheaper, damn thoses people goin into malaysia today, i could have gotte em~ and we gonna watch spiderman2 tmrw... gonna try and go and buy adam's shirt tmrw, wanna check out havainas, ma aunt said got tha brasil slippers, i asked adam if he want to to check it out fer him, he said like bloody jamban slippers... wahaha.. so bad, i still like... and i bought dis candle at parkway juz now, one for him and one me and ma sis shared fer ma mom... its really cool uh~ and i had dis really freaky dream dis morning, bout fique, in case anybody who's readin dis dunnoe who fique is, he is like dis nufking gorgeous guy, like tha gorgeousest ive ever seen~ seriously... he won tha usher competition on perfect 10 a few years back and he's in bona fide now wit dis otha guy, mark(he's REALLY nice!) haha niwae, fique looks A LOT like adam, or adam looks a lot like fique, watever, but fique has dis like x-factor, dat guy is OOZING sex appeal... maybe in a few years adam will also, fique's 23 dis yr... so adam has 6 more years to go... wokays, so fique's gorgeous, funnie, nice, can singgg(like usher+pharrell) and baby can he move! gawd.. SEXAYYYY! woooo~ hahah, so its was a totallly weird dream which context may be a lil too... much fer mah blog, nufail u can call me and ask me if ur readin dis and wonderin wat i dreamt bout, i mean it will never happen lah, he's too much of a nice guy... but like so weird, all of a sudden dream of him... ahaha and i saw yana's ex boyfwen, Reza 'metrosexual fernandez' hahah.. he remembered me, ans i was shocked, we didnt talk uh, juz kinda waved at each otha kinda thang... hahah, bout Him, i realise whenever i see smthin i think of him den i wanna buy it fer him... i seriously doubt he does dat too... but like when i see his favourite sweet, i think of him, when i see those colours i think of him, when i see anythinto do wit his passion i think of him, and juz now i went body shop den ma sis juz made me smell dis deodarant thang and it was his smell.... so him... and i was juz tellin him a few days ago i missed his smell, and ther was tha deodarant... i coundt stop smellin it, and ma mom was like, why u 2 lookin at guys deodarant? haha... was good to smell, would be better if i were smelling him tho... 12 days.. i think i hafta count... wokays it be 12 on sunday... so since its saturday now its 11 days, one more hour to 12 lah... haha wokays... i wroe dis poem like ages ago... im not freaky wokays!! haha dunnoe wher dat came from... :)
Wat you mean to me
I see you in front of me
and i wonder how i got so lucky
i love your smile and smelting eyes
i love tha way you look at me
sometimes ma heart juz goes wild
you make me so happy
i'll never find anotha like you
you touched ma heart in a way no one else has
and i cant sleep tonight
without you knowing how much you mean to me
i wish i could make you see
wat an anazing person you are
gorgeous to ma eyes, beautiful to ma heart
you juz mean tha world to me
now u can say 'awwwww'
hahaha wokays, i dunnoe wat dat was bout
feelin confused, not confused
kinda mixed kinda feelings...
dunnoe uh... laters y'all
peace out~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |10:41 PM| 0 Butterflies
Friday, July 02, 2004
help
i wanna get outta herre, i wanna get outta ma house... ma mom juz found out ma sis was gettin retained in year 2... and she went to see ma sister's lecturer...she was cryin a lot when she called ma sis, i feel horribleeee, ma bro also did shut fer his mid years, so did i but ma mom wasnt pissed, more on tha happy side, cuz she saw improvement i guess... ma sis said ma dad myte beat her up... im scared.. so scared, i wanna get out... ma grandma keeps nagging cuz ma bro only plays his playstation or watever, he never listens to any of us, so rude, he needs to wake up... he in primary , at dis rate he gonna fail hos psle. seriously... frustrated... i want it to be back to normal, i wanna be able to go home in peace, without feeling worried... so scared now... haiyoh... wanted to go get adam's birthday pressie tmrw, before i have no money but ma mom hasnt given me tha money for dis month... i dunnoe wat to do, i feel so lost... i saw hannan and joel and jasper juz now, hannan doin mechatronics in tp, joel mechatronics in sp, and i dunnoe bout jasper, i heard he failed his o's so i didnt ask, talk2 to em a lil uh... den i went to d pracical, chatted wit lisz yesterday, she's nice, a lil mad.. wokays. a lot mad, still scared sulaiman will get hurt... but he said he sunt really wanna be in a relationship, same as her so its like, phew thank gawd... i read him ma list yesterday, i dunnow why... at least he dunt think im freaky, it was long... tha thing he missed tha most was tha one i totally unexpected and i kept askin why dat and he sid cuz outta all tha rest, its tha most likely not to happen again, and i realised it was true, den it was so sad... dat was kinda wat started tha ball rollin between us... really sad, tha scared feelin is still haunting me. even afta writing dis... and greece won! wtf! portugal vs greece... GO PORTUGAL!!! hahha... they played tha opening game togetha if im not mistake, and they play tha final game, since portugal lost tha first game, its time fer revenge! mwahahah... and i found out dat christiano ronaldo got yellow card for taking off his shirt, think when he scored tha goal but i dunnoe, poor thing, why punish him for that amazing booodayyy.. whoa~ sexay man him... hahah okays im weird, tha feeling is still nagging me...scared.scared.scared. and nufail if u readin this, get well soon wokays! take care of ya tummy and watcha eat kays? love u woman and ma malay oral today so sucked... i was sooooo nervous, tha conversations was bad, it was like, man how do ya say dis in malay, i had tons of ideas running thru mah head juz how to put dem into werds in MALAY! ugh~ afta dis year, no more written malay, no more orals... thank tha lord above, hahha ma grandparents are squabbling now... when will dis end? when i be back safe in ma room, away from all this crap, somewher i can stay all day long... ugh... help. i wanna get out. and maz is finally back in skool, afta days of mc, ahe had high fever, miss her merepek-ness uh~ she got into trouble wit abraham cuz of her absentism, in tha end abraham talked to her and she cried, family stuff i guess, she satyin wit her dad now, in bedok, not stayin wit her aunt in sengkang anymore, her dad and stepmom is more understanding and im glad fer her, hpe she gets well soon, tmrw afta listening me ros and her wanna go long john's.. haha missed dat for over a month man :) i wanna go now, i dunnoe watever for... wat to do? im so tired... scared. :(
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |6:58 PM| 0 Butterflies
Thursday, July 01, 2004
prata bom+sambal+teh-o peng...
i want prata bom! im craving for it!!! and sambal~ waaaaaaaa! craving for it... craving... i feel it in ma mouth, tha sweetness, tha butter-iness... so gooooood and of course wat is ma prata bom without tha teh o peng??? ahhhh dis is torture!!... and i lost ma confirmation slip, i hafta look for it if not i gotta ask ma parents to write a letter, like wtf man~ havent written ma compo.. thank gawd mrs kow like wokays.. wahah, thanks to ma fullofcrap reasons... heheh... ma nenek wanna make mee goreng now.. oh well... betta den nuthin and tha canteen got some new japanese food, oyako, its rice ad soup and eggs and chicken and seaweed... in a RED bowl! tha bowl very nice uh! tha chicken also nice, tha rest was okay lah, taste kinda like hospital+baby food... hahha and now, for pE we get to choose wat we wanna do, we had like 5 choices, volleyball, softball, badminton, touch rugby and pickle ball... like wtf, pickle ball, supposedly smthin like mini tennis and squash and badminton... no brainer on wat i choose, but its like 3 choices, if u dunt get 1st choice den u get 2nd... i choose softball fer second... they go by ur nafa test results.. so i can safely say im n rugby baby! yay! cuz i, yes i, tha oh so short sabreena askbal got gold... wahahha.. woohooo~ i miss rugby so damn much! so happy when i saw it bein offered, but they had soccer fer girls for tha sec 5 only uh... i dunnoe wat i would have choosen man... maybe soccer, cuz i never really played before and i have played rugby before.. so yeah.. wheee~ rugbyyyyy! hahah and this gurl i do not really like put rugby as 1st choice also, all follow fren... wtf... like, she of all people, more likely she be complaining bout her hair, cannot imagine em playin rugby uh! like irritating man! they dont have tha passion for tha game... i juz find it irritating uh, i dunnoe why... and portugal won! like woohoo! i think it be a portugal and czech republic showdown... i want portugal to win but wont be shockin if tha czechs win... they good... hahhaha, nufail.. get better soon wokays! you too sulaiman! dunnoe how to take care of yourselves, be like me, i havent been sick tha wholeeee year! dats ryte! hahah... and i got tuition later, dont really feel like goin, i dunnoe, hafta do english uh~ no damn mood....ma title's wat do u wanna do when you wanna relax.. listen to music, read a book... wat else uh? need one more point! and i hafta do 2 more colour schemes for art, tha heck care type uh, how to go tuition and i hafta do smthin fer oral... tmrw... me, malay o level oral. tmrw... freaky! yana took hers today, she said wasnt dso good, think she did well.. dat idiot... haha and yan wrote ma a testimonial... so sweet, under fiki's name but still, he messaged me and said he'll copy and paste it under his name later on... he must have been readin all ma testimonials and realised dat he hadnt written me one... haha and i have 90 over stestimonials... wahha, kembang uh~ hahah and i written down i think 57 reasons on why i _________- heheh, fill in tha blanks...hungry.. can smell tha mee goreng, ouh.. cook aready, wanna eat now.. bubbaiz y'all.. peace~
infinity spirals out of creation fluttered @ |4:50 PM| 0 Butterflies
I am a daydreamer.
I think too much.
I am short.
I am gullible.
I love to laugh.
I am highly amuseable.
I can be quite random.
I am friendly,
yet I am very shy.
I love butterflies.
Go figure.
<3 to all I know and love.
My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006
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My Lovelies.
Nufail love
Sarah baby
Sheena angel
Yana gorgeous
Aaron shanks
Adam grec
Sufyan grumps
Mabel maple
Fangster
Sudip big bro
Aisyah Laughingas
Shikin Chicken
Premmie!!
Sukhi
Nabilah IntanPayung
Archives.
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006